*steps forward*
W.C. Fields as the villain.
"Well now my little Chickadee, it appears you've all fallen for my trap. Now if I could only induce my mother in law to enter this dungeon of mine I'd be set for life.
I suppose you think I hate you because you work for the king. Well you can be rest assured that I hate everyone equally, so its not like I'm being prejudiced or anything when I kill you. But I do have to start somewhere don't I?
But before I pull this switch and send you falling into the endless pit, let me wet my whistle one more time. I can't go long without some of this sweet whiskey nectar. Why it reminds me of my younger days when I and my cohorts would trek through the deserts of Mulharond. We lost our corkscrew and were forced to live on food and water for several days. I tell you that was sheer torture."
*buzzed out and forced to step back*