D&D math joek

hong

WotC's bitch
After the 7th time they fought a dragon and got piddly rewards for it, a group of adventurers were pondering the problem of how to maximise the amount of XP they got out of a dragon encounter. So they went to some engineers for help.

After 2 months, the engineers came back with a proposal to fix the problem. However, it would cost 10,000 gp to implement, including the cost of flying all the engineers to Tahiti for a conference on Dragonslaying: Concepts, Challenges and the Connection with Materials Science. The adventurers said no way, we pay enough for resurrection at the temple, we haven't got that kind of money. So they went to some physicists.

After 6 months, the physicists came back with a proposal to fix the problem. However, it would cost 50,000 gp to implement, and would involve demolishing half the buildings in Greyhawk to make way for a Linear Draconic Accelerator to test the results of smashing dragons together (because, you know, metallic and chromatic dragons are antiparticles of each other, so if they ever touch, they mutually annihilate and release gamma rays). The adventurers said no way, we pay enough for magic weapons at the magic shop, we can't afford that. So they went to some mathematicians.

After a week, the mathematicians came back with a conclusive proof on how to triple all XP awards for a dragon without any added risk or spending on items. The adventurers said no way! The mathematicians said way! So the adventurers eagerly grabbed the scroll the proof was written on (and which also had a note in the margin that the mathematicians had also discovered a marvelous demonstration that the equation xn + yn = zn has no solutions in integers for n > 2, but the scroll was too small to contain it), and started reading.

The first line of the proof read: "Consider a spherical dragon...."
 
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D&D physics joke

After the 7th time they fought a dragon and got piddly rewards for it, a group of adventurers were pondering the problem of how to maximise the amount of XP they got out of a dragon encounter. So they went to a statistician, mathematician, and scientist for help.

After a week, the statisticians came back with their solution. "By calculating the survivability chance vs. hoards size, one can clearly see in this graph that the optimal tactic is to tackle young-adult silver dragons in earth-brone lairs, to maximize profits." Unfortunaltely, the adventurers pissed off the deity of luck so were not wiloing to rely on probabilities, despite the statistician's assurance that a TPK was only 45% probable.

After 6 months, the mathematician presented his solution. "Using the the definition of an ideal dragon, we can construct the space of all possible dragons. This space is non-commutative and congurrant, with an epsilon-sigma flurrety and with a countable number of Borrelean sets."
"That's all nice and dandy" said the adventurers, "but what does any of this has to do with our problem?"
"Well," said the mathematician, "it doesn't - it's math."

After a year, the party gets tired of waiting for the physicist and pays him a call. His office is a mess of papers strawn hapahzardly onto the floor, scribbles of arcane formulae on the walls in what appears suspicioulsy similar to blood, and several unidentifiable devices. The physicist himself is busy scribbling furiously into an ever-thinning stack of draft papers.
"So" say the adventurers, "have you finished working on our problem?"
The physicist lifts his suprised gaze from his work, and pushes his glasses up with a sunlight-deprived pale hand. "Not yet", he says, "but I'm making huge progress! Look!" He steps into the blackboard, and proudly presents a set of incomprehensible formulas.
"What are we looking at?" ask the adventurers.
With unabashed pride, the physicist proclaims "A point-like dragon in a vaccum!"

OK, so it was better in the original... :o
 
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Yair said:
"Using the the definition of an ideal dragon, we can construct the space of all possible dragons. This space is non-commutative and congurrant, with an epsilon-sigma flurrety and with a countable number of Borrelean sets."
Did you write for Star Trek: TNG, by any chance?
 





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