I rewrote by story. It's not done yet, so don't read the whole thing if you care about that. I wrote a summery at the top so you can get the gist of it.
Summary: Malcolm and his sister were born in China and adopted from an orphanage by Christopher and Alice Judd. Chris took him to meet Hong Kong stuntmen and choreographers and one of them taught him martial arts. He constantly had trouble in school and it got worse until the fall semester of his junior year when he got into a fight and one kind ended up in a coma while another ended up dead. Wasn’t charged with killing, but sent to private school, and ended up joining the National Guard to help pay for his med school, because he wanted to prove he could do it without his parents. Ironically, his mother is part of the project, and she was how they found him.
Malcolm Bei Judd was a rare male child left in a Chinese orphanage with his twin sister at the age of four. They were both adopted by an American couple living in California. Their adoptive parents were relatively wealthy, but thankfully were not actors, so despite their father’s minor celebrity, their home live was fairly stable.
Christopher Judd was a successful movie director and a big fan of Hong Kong action films, so Charles was introduced to several choreographers and stuntmen as he grew up. They took a liking to the boy, who was always interested in their work, and often made rather unsuccessful attempts to imitate them, generally injuring himself in the process. One person in particular saw some potential and offered to train him, so that he at least wouldn't get hurt so often, his father was positively ecstatic about the idea, his mother less so. Regardless, she put up surprisingly little protest for a physician in training. Aside from that, he was also going to school of course. He was very bright, and got excellent grades, leading many of his peers to view him with contempt. In high school, surrounded by angry frustrated teenagers, things only got worse. He and his sister had surprisingly little in common for two genetically identical people raised in the same home. They were both multilingual, thanks to their father’s fluency in both Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese and his insistence that they keep their language, even as they learned English. They were both great students, and it was obvious at a glance that they were related, as they both appeared to be of mixed decent, mostly Chinese, but with a hint of others. That was about where the similarities ended, especially in high school. Mia had always been cleverer than him, in terms of getting what she wanted, and avoiding trouble. While his grades had suffered from the constant peer ridicule he fought endlessly to avoid retaliating against, Mia had always managed to avoid such things with grace and charm. She was one of those rare high school teens who managed to be beautiful, intelligent, and kind all at once. Malcolm’s parents began to consider taking him out and sending him to a private school, that might have solved every problem, but it wasn’t to be.
It was late autumn day on his junior year that changed his life. He walked to his last class of the day, as he did every day. There was a dance of some sort coming up. Mia was always energetic about that kind of thing but he just couldn’t stand them. It was either stay home, or stand against the loser wall. As he rounded the cafeteria and passed the dumpsters, he heard angry whispers. He stopped and turns to look, finding Jacob and the wigga posse, so called (by him) because they were all middle class white kids who dressed like reject gangsta rappers. They were apparently responsible for several muggings, and in fact it looked like one was going on right now. Only the person Jake had pinned against the wall immediately caught Malcolm’s eye for being female, and being the one girl he’d actually thought (only for a second) of asking to the dance. Of course she would have turned him down, and he would never have been able to answer someone if they asked him why he’d done it. Rose Johnson rather fit her name in that she was unusually good looking, always seemed to smell nice, and had a serious attitude problem. She dressed like a street walker, in miniskirts that let you know exactly what kind of underwear she had on and a top that couldn’t be warm enough in the cooling weather, though the fact that there was a jacket on the ground may have explained that partially. Right now though, she had a problem of a completely different nature. Jake was hissing profanities at her furiously. He couldn’t believe she was going out with him, but supposed it was some sort of way to maintain her tough girl image. Regardless, he found himself rolling his eyes and looking away from them quite often. It seemed that a rift had formed between them since he’s last seen them though, as Jake was mistaking her species in a much harsher tone than he usually did, if not her sex. He couldn’t make out the words, and for some reason found himself vaguely aroused by the idea of Rose in trouble, and him coming to her rescue, but instead stood there listening until one of the gang noticed him. “It’s the
in’ fag chink twin. The
you want fag?” Malcolm stood speechless, his eyes going from the idiot’s vacant face to Jake’s glare, to Rose’s scared look, He thought he saw her lips move in a silent plea for help. Or maybe that’s just what he wanted to see. “
a! Look at me when I
in’ talk to you
a!” Jake let go of Rose and came over to glare at him up close. “Yo
a, we talkin’ ta you!”
“Yeah! What do you want?!” Malcolm snapped. He’d never done that before. It was quite strange to him. “Oh, the fag’s got a mouth… You think you a
in’ big man uh? You wanna go? Le’s go, right here!” Jake started gesturing ridiculously. Malcolm didn’t know why, but at that point it felt perfectly natural to punch him in the nose. Still he didn’t get the chance just yet, as Jake went for it first. It was a weak punch. By comparison to the ones Malcolm had taken before, it was pitifully easy to avoid. “God,
you Jake! I’m sick of your
ing
! You’re a
ing
, and Rose deserves better!” Jake’s eyes bugged rather humorously. “Aw…
, you
in’ callin’ me out? Is this how it is Bitch?” he asked, looking back at Rose, who didn’t respond. “I see how it is bitch, you think you can
in’ play me?!
I show you, I show yo
in’ fag boyfriend! I will
in’ cut you foo!” Jake shouted, pulling out a pocket knife and turning to Malcolm. “Jake! No! You retard!” Rose practically screamed, running at him from behind only for him to whip around and cut her arm below the shoulder. Everyone seemed stunned for a moment, and then Jake started his banter again. “Bitch! I told you!
in stupid ass whore! You want some more? I will
you up!” He started waving the knife menacingly at her, and at that point Malcolm had had enough. He grabbed the smelly idiot, and tossed him over his shoulder onto the ground, and Jake didn’t get up. Malcolm looked, and saw the knife imbedded deep in one of the his idiot friend’s legs while Jake lay motionless, apparently unconscious. The wound was bleeding profusely. Much more than one would expect, and the teen was already going into shock, of course so was everyone else. The idiots scattered, and Rose yanked on Malcolm to pull him away.
![:]](http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/devious.png "Devious :]")
