DarkMatter D20: Drunk Southern Girls with Guns ... UPDATED - 8/18/05!

What would you like to see in the DarkMatter campaign?

  • Cthulhu, baby

    Votes: 66 23.7%
  • More anal probing!

    Votes: 66 23.7%
  • Rather less anal probing, thank you.

    Votes: 33 11.9%
  • Deeper Conspiracy theory stuff

    Votes: 84 30.2%
  • More traditional monster/horror tone

    Votes: 29 10.4%

CATTLE MUTILATORS
PT. 3

"PULL OFF THE ROAD!" half the Agents screamed.

"STAY ON THE ROAD!" the other half screamed.

"HIT THE BRAKES! the other half screamed.

"Little late --" Stephen yelled back as the white lights from the UFO flooded the van.

A low WHIRIIRIRIRR whined from the van's dashboard as every electrical light and circuit burbled in the grasp of a mysterious EM Field. A subsonic RUMBLE tickled the back of everyone's neck, some low thudding vibration --

-- and with that the two MiB cars EXPLODED.

Andy and Ross instinctively shielded their eyes as the two cars fireballed, metal sheeting and flaming engine parts corscrewing through the air.

The UFO banked back around. For one long, awful moment, it looked as if the Agents were next. But then, the lights FLASHED, arced skyward and disappeared among the stars.

At the speed they were going, the van was a good half-mile from the burning wreckage by the time it came to a stop. The Agents piled out. Behind them, a low orange glow on the highway was all that remained of the incident.

That and the frothing zombie toddler.

Denis slumped against the side of the van. "Now I know why you guys have the reputation you do."

Ross shrugged. "Hey, we sometimes -- wait. What reputation?"

The feral SNARLING of the child echoed out from his perch on the van floor. "What do we do about ... that?" Stephen asked.

"Why don't you check it again, considering you said it was fine just before it started gnawing on my f*#@ing neck!" Jo glared at Stephen as she pulled a sweatshirt on.

"He was fine," Stephen objected. "Pulse, eye dilation ..."

Andy nodded to the others. "Get the duct tape out of my bag."

"You have duct tape?"

"I always have duct tape." Andy snapped open his cell phone. In an instant he was on a scrambled line with MacGruder, the Hoffman Institute's "Crisis Manager."

As always, MacGruder was incredibly annoyed at the call. "I thought we went through this with the Desmond case, you only call when you have a real emergency."

"Can you guys pick something up?"

"Is it worth our while?"

Andy looked over at the thrashing zombie toddler, now thoroughly wrapped in several feet of duct tape. "Hoo yeah."

The Hoffman Institute agreed to send a Hazmat team to pick up their "discovery." They'd meet at the hotel in Fairview where the group was scheduled to stay.

(DM's NOTE: At this point I spit out my soda and asked, "You're going to drive into a small southwestern town with a shot-up van and a duct-taped three year old?" The players looked at each other and nodded. At at this point, we were so, SO far off where I'd planned this night to go ...)

The Agents pulled into the little motel just fifteen minutes later. They smuggled "Zombie Timmy" as he was dubbed into the room and dumped him in the tub. In doing so they noticed that he was now incredibly fevered. Jo and Ross raided the ice machine in the parking lot. Soon, the zombie toddler was almost totally submerged in ice, only his eyes above the surface. Those eyes darted back and forth, back and forth ceaselessly. He watched the Agents every move. Waiting to feed again.

In two hours a van showed up. The Agents were looking forward to rattling some cages, but when the two orange-suited drivers saw the toddler they looked at each other and immediately withdrew from the van several wire loops and metal slats. The slats became a sealed refrigerated box. Using the loops, they lowered the zombie toddler into the containment vessel, then locked it off. No more than fifteen minutes passed, and the HazMat team was back on the road with their grim cargo.

Exhausted, the Agents fell asleep wherever they could, on the floor, the beds, in chairs - except for Jo. She paced for a while, constantly rechecked the van, the door, the windows ... she kept checking the dressing where the kid had bitten her. Was it infected? Was it swelling? Was she about to become ... one of those?

Finally, she took two of the pills the nice people at the Hoffman Institute had given her, downed them with a hit from her flask. In moments she fell into deep, dreamless slumber.

And at that moment everyone else in the room took their hands off their guns and fell asleep too.
 
Last edited:

log in or register to remove this ad

jonrog1 said:
(DM's NOTE: At this point I spit out my soda and asked, "You're going to drive into a small southwestern town with a shot-up van and a duct-taped three year old?" The players looked at each other and nodded. At thsi point we were so, SO far off where I'd planned this night to go ...)

Man, aint this the truth. How many times does this happen? I wish I had a nickle for every time my group goes left when they were supposed to go right.

Thanks for the update jonrog1.
 

Originally posted by jonrog1
(DM's NOTE: At this point I spit out my soda and asked, "You're going to drive into a small southwestern town with a shot-up van and a duct-taped three year old?" The players looked at each other and nodded. At thsi point we were so, SO far off where I'd planned this night to go ...)

Er... you acutally bother to plan? Don't you know that no plan of action ever survives contact with the Player Characters? :D

I think I see what has Jo pulling her hair out, between slugs from her flask of course, the not knowing if she'll turn into a Zombie Redneck. And of course the rest of the group's reaction doesn't really inspire a lotta hope either.

Hatchling Dragon
 


Excellent!!
This just may have been the best segment yet IMHO!

You guys must have a Really Good Time!
Thanks sharing!! :)

Hey look its an Mib Smilie } :cool: {

aahhhh...Zombie toddlers
Now thats just good clean fun!
 

Hatchling Dragon said:
I think I see what has Jo pulling her hair out, between slugs from her flask of course, the not knowing if she'll turn into a Zombie Redneck. And of course the rest of the group's reaction doesn't really inspire a lotta hope either.

Sadly, Jo is so, so far away from how truly evil this night of gaming wound up at this point in the narrative. This was in the first half hour.

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. This is the one thing I work on without a deadline, and hence one of the things I enjoy most.
 

Hatchling Dragon said:
Er... you acutally bother to plan? Don't you know that no plan of action ever survives contact with the Player Characters?

That was the amazing bit -- I DIDN'T plan. I merely had a sequence of events, and whether the Agents were present for them or not depended on their actions. They could and did miss big tracts of plot.

What was amazing was their own abiltiy to create obstacles for themselves without my help.

That's a tendency with this group, though. While DM'ing, Andy once remarked that all he needed for a night's adventure was a door, a twenty foot corridor with traps, and an empty room, and we'd argue, debate, and strategize for four hours.
 

Speaking of Jo, tell her that I miss the Angry Monkey story hour, and she should bring it on back. This story hour is almost enough to make me want to live in LA.
 

jonrog1 said:
Thanks for the encouragement, everyone. This is the one thing I work on without a deadline, and hence one of the things I enjoy most.

Encouragement hell, we're all adicts and speeking of deadlines... I need another fix, now! :p

Ok, so I'm only partly kidding...

Hatchling Dragon - Scaley Red-Neck Junky
 

Jo from JonRog Dark Matter fame here.

First let me say that southern girls learn to shoot while intoxicated so trying to shoot while sober throws their aim way off.

“Damnit! I don’t know where to point when there’s only one of you!”

Secondly, I wanted to clarify something with Hatchling Dragon. Not everyone from the South is a redneck just as not everyone from the mid-west is a Swedish insurance salesman. The differences may be subtle but important, I assure you.

Thirdly, our ritualistic weekly gathering consisting of small talk / business chat / Invader Zim episodes and a dinner of peanuts and beer amidst dice rolling and smack talking is the absolute highlight of my week. Envy me mortals for I dwell among the gods. (Chthulu gods but gods none the less.) They are a group of truly brilliant and talented guys.

And finally, they really, really frighten me. Baby boy flesh puppets chewing at my neck! WHO THINKS OF THESE THINGS???

And FYI, it really does get much, much worse very, very soon. I don’t want to give anything away but certain things happen which have my character 100% completely insistent on a shower.

“Shower. Now. Shower.” (shudder)

“But people need our help.”

“F’ them. Shower now.”

“But Jojo…”

“LOOK AT ME! I’m covered in the snot and feces of the undead. This isn’t frickin Ghostbusters where the heroes get slimed by some cutesy Casper! This is uber icky alien goop! Now I’m not your average squeamish chick but this stuff is in my ears. It’s in my eyes. It is in places you men can’t even imagine…”

Both guns drawn and pointing at the ground.

“…I need a shower. A long one. And a drink. A tall one. Now…”

Pull back the hammers.

“…who’s going to stop me?”

Others: “We should probably get her a shower.”
“Makes sense.”
“We’ve got plenty of time.”

Reading these posts has me salivating like Pavlov’s pet for more updates and another Dark Matter adventure because, after all, can you ever really have too many nightmares?

Enjoy the posts and keep supporting our favorite storyteller - JonRog1.
 

Remove ads

Top