This argument boils down to "I want creatures to use light in the underdark"
Uh, no. It's an answer to questioning, "Why do intelligent creatures use light and when?" I don't particularly care when something uses light or not. That's kind of "up to them." But since I'm the DM and I need to know when they would choose to use light, I have to ask and answer those questions.
In reality, what you would go for in utter darkness, is not being detected.
I disagree. An intelligent creature capable of creating light wants to not be at a disadvantage. If dim light means I can see everything without hindrance, and darkness puts me at a disadvantage, then I'll use light.
For creatures without darkvision, dim light (when our Perception is at a disadvantage) means we walk into things. We can't read. We can't see very far, so if we're outside and there are creatures that might be hunting us, we won't notice them. When our Perception is impaired, we are at a significant disadvantage. The only time that we would not want to use light is specifically when we want to be undetected, and be stealthy. Because light would make that impossible.
For creatures with darkvision, they are at the same disadvantage in total darkness. For an intelligent creature capable of making light, they would do so in the same circumstances, although they would use dim light, since bright light is not needed.
Since light spreads fantastically far (even around corners) when it is pitch black, what you do not do, if you want to stay undetected, is light even the smallest light source.
Darkness is your friend. Light is your enemy.
Unless, of course, you're an alpha predator - just ask those angler fish...
Ahh, so there you go.
If you want to stay undetected. Darkness is only your friend when it gives you an advantage. If you are lying in wait as an ambush, you have advantage on being stealthy, and almost every other creature has a disadvantage detecting you. But if you're trying to Stealthily walk through the underdark in darkness, with its uneven ground, rocks and things sticking out here and there, what you don't want to do is be the person that constantly kicking something, or hitting your shin, or knocking your head on a low stalactite, or slipping on damp, uneven ground, and constantly cursing and your equipment making noise, etc. Strap on some armor and several weapons like your average adventurer and try wandering through the woods on a moonless night and see how quietly and safely you can do it.
Darkness for a drow is no different. Laying in wait, especially if you've been able to select and prepare an ambush site where you know the terrain and won't have to worry about tripping on something? Absolutely. But when you're the one actually traveling? You want to make sure you see the Cave Fisher first, because that little strand in the dark will be almost impossible to see. Oops, didn't see that Gray Ooze? Perhaps you should have been using light. Oh, you broke your leg falling down a natural chimney? Yeah, it's really annoying that they're so hard to see in the dark. It would be much better to be able to have dim light as far as you can see so you won't be at a disadvantage noticing things like that.
See, most of the time creatures like drow, duergar, etc. aren't trying to stay undetected. They are going about their lives in their world. And their world is centered around dealing with other creatures of the underdark. It's not centered around "what happens if a bunch of humans come down?" since that's not a daily, maybe not even a yearly occurrence. Not to mention that if everything is in dim light, the humans are still at a disadvantage anyway.
If the drow are out hunting, they would want to be stealthy, and they'd go without the use of light. On the other hand, how frequently do humans hunt at night? In the same conditions that drow would be in darkness?
A drow guardpost? It would be lit by dim light to the range of vision. That way there are no surprises. Once you pass by the guardpost, within drow civilization, things would be dimly lit. For safety and convenience. A security patrol? It would be a show of force, not stealth. You would not only see them, but hear them coming. They aren't trying to remain undetected, they are trying to tell everything in the area to "stay away" or, if you're an intelligent being we allow around these parts, "follow our laws."
To me, the main reason why this is questioned is because we're always looking at it from the lens of drow vs. human, and also nocturnal animals vs. non-nocturnal animals. A lion or hyena has good vision at night, an antelope doesn't. So when they hunt at night, they are at a distinct advantage. But drow and other underdark creatures aren't at that distinct advantage.
Everybody in the underdark can see just as well (or poorly) as you.