D&D 5E Dealing with distracted and distracting players in an all-teen game

[SwivSnapshot]

A few questions:

1) How long do the gaming sessions run?
2) Is there a consistent point where player attention lapses?
3) Is the story being told straight from the page or do the DM and Players have an opportunity for improvisation?
4) Is there a player who able to act as a team leader for the players?

 

[JonnyP71]

I know I'm not the OP, but as I'm someone who has the condition, I'll offer my own answers to those questions based on my experiences of gaming:

1) If the game is something I'm not invested in, this does not matter. I lose interest in a matter of seconds. If it holds my interest it could go on for 24 hours and I would not notice due to hyperfocus. The same is true for when I am DMing.

2) Whenever someone takes more than a few seconds to decide what they want to do - unless they are discussing options with the group, then I can be involved. Though as DM, I do like to sit back and observe when they are pondering a solution - but I feel an urge to push them if that pondering seems to be going nowhere.

3) This is irrelevant as long as the story is compelling, the genre is appealing, and the mechanics don't get in the way.

4) If it was someone other than myself I would get bored quickly. Better with no declared leader, and everyone chipping in as and when required.

 

[ArwensDaughter]

A few questions:

1) How long do the gaming sessions run?

I'd have to ask for sure, but I'd say between 2 and 4 hours, depending on schedules
UPDATE: She concurs

2) Is there a consistent point where player attention lapses?

I'll ask. The session I observed, attention was lacking from the beginning.
UPDATE: She says often about 2nd round of combat; sometimes from the very start

3) Is the story being told straight from the page or do the DM and Players have an opportunity for improvisation?

Lots of improvisation. She's not a railroading DM by nature, although time constraints meant she started with a pretty rail-roady set of short adventures we had on hand and she had played through as a player. They went off the rails pretty quickly, and she was able to swing with that (far better than I could have!). One of the players was insistent about his character (the rogue) falling in love with one of the minor NPCs. So that became a central aspect of the plot. Said love interest has been kidnapped, and they are trying to find her.

4) Is there a player who able to act as a team leader for the players?

Interesting question. The player with the paladin character is often referred to by her friend circle (not necessarily in the context of the D&D games) as the "mom." Not in a complaining way, more as a recognition of her role in their circle. So she might be able to help in that way. But the "Interrupter" is not exactly part of that circle, at least he's not part of the "inner ring." I think that's one element that plays into this: We are dealing with two intersecting friend circles, and the two circles have different behavior/interaction styles. So I'm not sure she'd have much influence on the most disruptive player.

 

[ArwensDaughter]

I also want to say thank you to everyone who has responded so far. It's appreciated!

 

[akr71]

It was out of game horsing around.

This is a straight up respect issue. Respect for your host's house and furnishings mostly, but also respect for the other players' time.

Unfortunately, these types of things take time and maturity to learn. Your daughter could tell them to 'take it outside' if they insist on horsing around. The host would probably be thankful and/or supportive.

 

[CydKnight]

The first thing I would suggest is to lay down some very specific ground rules moving forward if she hasn't already. It's hard to know what the next possible course of action would be unless and until this has happened. Make sure the player's understand how much work she must put into it just to make the game possible.

If ground rules have been introduced and they are simply being ignored, then she will have to stand her ground with them. A good first step was providing XP only to those that were paying attention and remaining involved. She could also point out the potential of missing out on treasure and magic items. If it continues, then perhaps a player death will wake them up?

My current game has me DMing ages 11, 11, 13, and one of the 11 year olds father who is 40ish so I can understand the frustration of having player's "self-distracting". One absolute rule is that topics not related to the game are off limits while in session unless it is a legitimate emergency. The players are also strongly encouraged to remain in character while the game is happening.

I also do not allow anyone to leave the game table while the game is in session but I allow a 15 minute break in the middle of our 3 - 4 hour game sessions.

 

[discosoc]

Being frustrated with your players is an important life-skill for DMs...

Anyway, it's usually something that has to be dealt with on a per-player basis. It's also something where you really need to learn to pick your fights and not get obsessed with making sure every player is in the zone. I've currently got a guy who spends 90% of the session drawing. He rarely speaks up and the pad goes down only for combat. It's annoying as hell, but he keeps showing up and isn't actually hindering the sessions so I don't bother trying to change that.

Things to watch out for are the "distracted" players who are constantly interrupting the game. These are the guys who stop every 10 minutes to show the group a funny youtube video, or start playing a video game, or throw on a movie "for background." Those are the fights you need to pick, and if your daughter is dealing with that sort of behavior than she needs to communicate this to her friends.

 

[SwivSnapshot]

I'd have to ask for sure, but I'd say between 2 and 4 hours, depending on schedules
UPDATE: She concurs

I'll ask. The session I observed, attention was lacking from the beginning.
UPDATE: She says often about 2nd round of combat; sometimes from the very start

Next question- is there a typical time of day the games occur? If so, is there a time of day that the session can be moved to when the person in question is less likely to be symptomatic ?

Lots of improvisation. She's not a railroading DM by nature, although time constraints meant she started with a pretty rail-roady set of short adventures we had on hand and she had played through as a player. They went off the rails pretty quickly, and she was able to swing with that (far better than I could have!). One of the players was insistent about his character (the rogue) falling in love with one of the minor NPCs. So that became a central aspect of the plot. Said love interest has been kidnapped, and they are trying to find her.

If the player is losing interest by the 2nd round of combat, play style probably isn't a factor. I've had some luck by using a disruptive players own behavior to steer the story, but be warned- if the player has other behavioral issues it can backfire. It can also be unfair to the remaining players (I learned that one the hard way).

Interesting question. The player with the paladin character is often referred to by her friend circle (not necessarily in the context of the D&D games) as the "mom." Not in a complaining way, more as a recognition of her role in their circle. So she might be able to help in that way. But the "Interrupter" is not exactly part of that circle, at least he's not part of the "inner ring." I think that's one element that plays into this: We are dealing with two intersecting friend circles, and the two circles have different behavior/interaction styles. So I'm not sure she'd have much influence on the most disruptive player.

A mom or dad figure, especially someone in the same age group could unintentionally add to the problem, especially if the person isn't seen as an authority figure because they lack experience playing the game. Is there someone who may have experience in group sports or similar activities who could take on the roll?