[Debunking Rumors] No Baby-shields in OSM

[DMaple]

I don't see how a Baby-shield could possibly offer more protection than a Large steel shield, well unless they cast heat metal on you.

Although I imagine they could be used for an effective shield bash with the added bonus of perhaps drooling on your target. The constant crying might put of spellcasters as well, who would have trouble hearing themselves think.

Actually they are starting to sound pretty effective just a couple of questions though, how do you fasten the straps to the baby with staples? and which end do you point towards the enemy the screaming, vomiting end or the foul stench and corrosive spray end?

 

[WanderingMonster]

Baby-Shield FAQs

Q: Do Baby-Shields offer the same great protection overnight as they do all day long?

A: Yes! Look for Baby-Shields Overnights at a drugstore near you.

Q: I'm an active arch-villain, I don't want to worry about my Baby-Shields protection when I'm working my hardest to do my worst!

A: Never fear! Try NEW Baby-Shields with Wings! Wings offer maximum protection, so YOU don't have to worry!

Q: What about those days when I'm feeling "not so fresh"?

A: Baby-Shields come with a light-powdery scent so that you can feel fresh all day long.

Q: I have sensitive skin.

A: Try Baby-Shields Free, an unscented, hypoallergenic prodcut with the same quality you've come to expect from Baby-Shields.

 

[Trevalon Moonleirion]

LMAO! This is bloody hilarious!!! Bravo Wandering Monster! I still don't get this baby-shield thing, but it sure is funny.

 

[Dravin]

ROFLMFAOYB

 

[Lothaire]

A baby shield that good you don't eat all at once.

 

[SableWyvern]

I can't say that I've found this thread funny (not without lying, anyway; which I would never do amongst such esteemed company), for the simple fact that I really have absolutely no idea what its really about (perhaps I'm unusually ignorant).

Nevertheless, it exudes a strange aura creating a sick and bizarre fascination that draws me to continue reading (brackets are useful and fun to use).

 

[Piratecat]

Want an explanation? Go here:

http://www.enworld.org/messageboards/showthread.php?s=&threadid=779&perpage=30&pagenumber=2

Read the post of 1/25 that starts "It's a perfect day in paradise," particularly the end of it. It explains everything!

- PCat

 

[JRRNeiklot]

Baby Shield:

This item is a +1 buckler in the form of a small baby. All females within sight must save vs will (DC 50) or immediately drop everything and rush toward the wielder of the baby shield. They must then beg to hold and coddle the baby shield. If the baby shield is presented toward a male character, he must save vs fear (DC 50.) If the save is failed, he fears to touch the baby for fear he may drop it. As a standard action the wielder may make the baby shield cry. This immediately causes male characters to flee in terror (No save. Female characters are struck with a desire to feed, rock, or otherwise comfort the baby.

SA: One a minute, a baby shield may cast a stinking cloud spell. This is a free action. Females seem immune to this spell.