Demonic religious saying suggestions

[Theroc]

Hm... you could take some tips from the Prince of Madness, Sheogorath from the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

Here's a couple quotes of his that'd fight Chaotic stuff. Sheogorath is crazy, not necessarily evil, but if this guy is based on Richard, then this may fit.

Jyggalag! He is the Prince of Order. Or was it biscuits...no, no, Order! And not in a good way. Bleak. Colorless. Dead. Boring, boring, boring! And not a fan of my work, I can tell you. Hates it, hates me. You've seen his knights. Not the warm and cuddly sort.

I'm a little busy here! I'm trying to decide what to have for dinner. Go talk to Haskill, he's got more brains than a brain pie...hmmmm...brain pie... perfect!! Care to donate?

That's just a couple. Obviously you'd need to tailor them to fit your character/party/world, but there's some gold here if you're looking for a comedic-evil type of character.

 

[Kurtomatic]

"Dear evil, messed-up demon powers of darkness, uh.., and unimaginable evil. Please transport me off of this awesome corpse pile. I am but a visitor in your strange world, which some would call hellish, but I have to admit, it's kind of badass."

"Oh lords of gross leather-things in S&M-type wear. You know, you guys really have style. That battle nun? She was hot. Uh.., sorry about killing her. Uh.., but you're evil, though, right? So we're cool. I didn't even know I could do that with an axe. I have no idea why my guitar is setting people on fire, and stuff. But uh, maybe, if I could talk to whoever is in charge, get some answers, by your good graces... Uh-oh... I meant evil! Evil graces! Ah, son of a --!"

-Eddie Riggs

 

[Voadam]

All right, some good ideas here (In particular I might try and fake being a warlord with severed head pom poms chanting blood gods! blood gods! Go team!).

The game is tomorrow, so any more last minute D&D demonic one liner witticisms for a Joker style archetype evil character?

 

[Celebrim]

I tend to approach all the alignments with an intellectual bias, so I'm not much good for witicism except for off the cuff word play, but sayings with a potentially Chaotic Evil bent:

"To your own self be true."
"If it feels good, do it."
"I call a lie: wanting not to see the world as it is. If you tell something to someone that is false, its not your fault if they want to believe it."
"If you find yourself, you find everything. There is nothing else worth knowing, because everything else is known through yourself."
"Don't be one of the sheeple."
"No truth has reality by itself; it is always dependent upon the reality of its relationship to you"
"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of the truth than lies."
"The man of knowledge must be able to hate his friends."
"Violence solves everything, and it is the only truly lasting solution to anything."
"Fools search for the meaning of life: the wise man lives it."
"The world will never owe you anything, so never let anyone convince you you owe anything to it."

 

[Nifft]

I'll bet cultists of Juiblex get really annoyed by people constantly mispronouncing their patron's name. So cultists of other demons might do this deliberately (... well, I would, if I were a demon cultist). Also, you might annoy a Juiblexite into revealing himself.

A: "For the glory of Orcus, kick him in the Jubilex!"
B: "Don't you mean Juiblex?"
A: "DIE SLIME HERETIC!" stabs B in the face

Cheers, -- N

 

[roguerouge]

"I... have... the power!"

 

[Andor]

"Stick that up your Halo Good Guy!"

"To Hell with it."

"That is hotter than a Succubus skinny-dipping in a lake of fire."

"Give them my love in Hell."

"By Beelzeebub's brass balls!"

"That's sadder than a dretch with a head cold."

 

[Necronomicus]

I'm playing a character on RPoL in a God-based game who is the Demigod of Confrontation. I have a few popular phrases:

"Fine, so now we achieved that you and I are now working together, we probably need to find weapons. After all, kind of hard to defend a place without weapons. So, we get weapons and we can take a place to defend." He grins, "So, where around here are there weapons? You know, sharp things that you stick or hack the sharp part at the enemy. Like a sword, where you take the pointy end and shove it through the other person."

"What we need to do next is indeed find some others that will join us, whether they might be willing or not. No doubt we need food and provisions of other sorts, so we might have to kill many innocent people. Lets start looking for orphanages and elderly homes before we go to the less devious places. I wonder, do you know where any cemetaries are? Maybe they will have something fun for us to steal or dig up to join us."

"Are you interesting in making a pilgrimage? We're gathering to fight those who deserve to be hit. Do you have enemies?"

"Listen one and all! I have come to lead a rebellion against those that you called Gods. Am I a God? No, not yet. I'm still a Demigod, but I plan to change that. To make it easier, you can just call me a God and we can call all the others Infidels. Got it? I'm a God and they are Infidels. That means that if you are unhappy, disgruntled with the way things are so far being handled by the Gods... or rather, now the Infidels, then just join up with us and get ready to take the fight to them. Gather whatever food, weapons, possessions... and if you have drugs that make you even more violent or alcohol, take those as well. You'll need them to fight the Infidels. Now, joining me has its perks. You can stay here, unhappy, disgruntled and know that you're probably going to die soon. Or, you can join up with me and know that you will die, but later instead of sooner. So, what do you say?"

"If they are beast, slay them all. If they are not beast, slay most of them and allow a few to be taken prisoner that we might interrogate them."

Lemme know if you need more.

 

[Sonny]

I'd think a lot of swearing by body parts.

By Demogorgon's second head!

By Pazuzu's thundrous bowels!

By the burning blood of Jublex!

You get the idea.

Actually, I now want to use the phrase "By Demogorgon's third head!" as soon as I can. Though I probably shouldn't.

 

[chronoplasm]

"Your mother's in here. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it."

"Lick me, lick me!"