DM Schticks That Grind Your Gears

[Montague68]

Here's another one:

The Impossibly Convoluted Mystery That Just Won't End.

No matter how hard you try, you can't figure out Who is behind all the nasty goings on, because by the time you get there, the villains are long gone and have not left any obvious clues. Any obtuse clues gathered are so obscure as to be of no help, and the DM adds to the mess by giving out red herrings left and right. The party aimlessly wanders from one false lead to the next, until after weeks go by, DM finally decides he has befuddled the players enough with his wondrously complex plots that he allows an NPC to perform a storyline-Deus Ex Machina. This allows the obviously slow-witted and lazy party a chance to defeat the villain in yet another Epic Battle (tm).

The end of the storyline is usually marked by the players going en-masse to the local comic-shop owner, university gaming club president, or some other such knowledgeable third party, relating the events of the mystery and watching with satisfaction as these people invariably shake their head and say: "What the **** was he thinking? I would have never gotten that!"

 

[silver_wizard]

6. DM's favouritism towards his girlfriend, who, by virtue of her "elevated status", gets to play an elf / half-shadow dragon / half-tarrasque / half-solar sorcerer/monk/assassin/rogue/uber-goddess, thereby transforming a long-standing campaign in which everybody had fun to another edition of the popular show called "the all-powerful Whosthatoverthere and her pets" (aka other players).

 

[Ridley's Cohort]

Every important NPC is the conniving DM.
Why is it when running through ye olde Convoluted Mystery every damn NPC that matters holds back as much information as possible, has to be pumped hard for any useful information even little tidbits that do not matter to the NPC, cannot offer anything like a fair deal without it being carefully negotiated for by the PCs, and are ingrateful wretches who do not volunteer information even after saving their worthless life?

I like mysteries. But after a while it feels like the DM is punishing the party for failing to metagame as Sherlock Columbo.

 

[Lanefan]

3. The directionless session. The DM gives no real information about the city or surrounding areas beyond what you specifically ask. The DM just keeps asking you what you're going to do, with no adventure hooks readily apparent and no real way for you to know what's out there for you to interact with.

This is only a problem *if* the players are expecting the story or adventure to be fed to them...which happens all too often. If nothing's happening, then *make* something happen! Or, at least get out of town - for all you know, the next adventure might involve you being teleported somewhere once nobody else is around to see...

As for someone else's problem with rolling initiatives each round, as far as I'm concerned both as player and DM that's the way it should work; my DM beef would be with DM's who lock in initiatives at start of combat just because the rules say to do so. (meaning, of course, that my real beef is with the rules...)

Lanefan

 

[jester47]

Anime assumptions.

These lead to #2 and the DMPC.

 

[Sejs]

The adventure that just... keeps... dragging... on... forever.

The word 'pacing' does not appear in this DMs dictionary at all, and the game progresses at the pace of an anemic snail. Several - not a couple, not a few, not some, but several - sessions pass before the events of a single day/step/arc/scene even show movement let alone near completion. Distractions and sidetracks are regular and lengthy. Hooks are vague, poorly defined, and if you don't leap on 'em hoo boy are you hosed, because there arn't any alternatives planned. Expect to spend a good deal of your time beating your head against the wall and/or dealing with minutae that could be handwaved with just a sentance or two. Heaven help you if you get into combat, because a single fight will last the entire evening.

 

[Montague68]

And a couple more, these ones for the RP'ers:

It's the end of the world as we know it, and it's not fine

You ask the GM over and over what kind of game he's going to run. He says "Heavy RP" you say cool. You ask him about the region where the game is starting. He gives it to you. You then craft a wonderfully in-depth character background utilizing your knowledge of the area and the names of NPC's the GM has given you. You spend skill points/character points for local knowledge, contacts, etc for some juicy roleplaying in the region. You can't wait to immerse yourself in the new world.

Two weeks later you're enjoying yourself when RAWRBLAM!!! a Super-Duper BBEG from out of nowhere utterly destroys the entire region. Your background and knowledge of the local region are now completely worthless as the entire game devolves into chasing after the BBEG, never stopping long enough in one place to actually portray your character in any meaningful sense.

Or the same as above except for an apocalyptic scene of mass destruction, your Powerful NPC Mentor (tm) sends you and your companions off on a loooooooooooong adventure thousands of miles away from the "starting point" of the adventure. When questioned later the GM says "I said we'd start there, I never said anything about staying there..."

 

[Nomad4life]

3. The directionless session. The DM gives no real information about the city or surrounding areas beyond what you specifically ask. The DM just keeps asking you what you're going to do, with no adventure hooks readily apparent and no real way for you to know what's out there for you to interact with.

Man, I ‘m totally with you there. People gripe a lot about railroading (and I do too) but the second worst adventure I ever went on was one of those never-ending “what do you do?” simulation horrors. GRRRRR!!! I’ve only got so much time to play... Have a mofriggin gosh-dern story ready!!!

 

[Oryan77]

If you don't like the way the DM drives, then you take the wheel if so many things DM's do annoy ya. :\

I never understood why players will nit-pick so many little details about how a guy DM's. Half of the stuff you're complaining about is typical events that the majority of people think players would enjoy. Probably because it works good in a book or movie. It just doesn't always come out that "cool" when you try to do it in D&D.

A DM who is being a prick while DM'ing just because he's a stupid human being is one thing, but the stuff you guys are bringing up sounds like issues that are pretty common for DM's to do when playing D&D isn't their sole purpose in life...it's their hobby.

Honestly, I don't think anyone has the right to criticize a DM for just trying to entertain people. Player's who do that are the same players that DM's will criticize as being annoying players.

I DM 99% of the time and there are far more annoying "shticks" that players do than what DM's do. And the bad thing is that the players just show up for the game while the DM's put tons of work into the game beforehand. This thread comes off like players thinking being DM'ed is an obligation rather than a privilege.

 

[Agent Oracle]

Here, have a Holy Avenger

Despite the fact that there is perfectly good chart for rolling up treasure in the DMG, this GM will randomly ascribe treasure and gold based on his whims. While this is fun initially, a gross imbalance in the party will ensue, resulting in Hero McUltraequipped and his possee of slightly less-well equipped followers. The DM will gawk in wonder as the party shreds through his BBEGs like they were made of tissue, then will begin throwing higher and higher difficulty enemies against the party, which will ultimately result in a level 10 party dying at the hands of a CR 17 encounter.

No, you can't have a pony. (not for you)

This GM despises all manner of horses with a firey passion of a thousand suns. Whether it's a mule, riding dog, horse, or velociraptor with a saddle, be prepared for every single monster to target it like they were the only edible thing in a thousand miles. If the horse isn't being eaten or shot at, it's running away in the darkness after mysticly untying itself from the hitch.

You want me to do what? heh, it'll cost you.

"Oh, you want those identified? Sure, 300 gold. You need your stats restored? pay me five times the cost, and we'll be copacetic. A potion of Cure light wounds? Heh, do you have a credit card?"
Every service costs FAR more than either the PHB or the DMG indicates it should. apparently, in this world, NPC's are all patterend off the "comic shop guy" from the simpsons, where if you need something, then you must be willing to pay MORE for it.

I find joy in your misery
This GM is all smiles, as long as his party is out of spells, low on hit points, and surrounded by creatures whose CR is 4 levels higher than their combined party level. Nothing ruins his day more than players who want to (ug) roleplay, or "prepare" for the inevitable encounters. If the players come to a town and establish any kind of contacts, he'll kill them off. if they like a magic item, it gets stolen or sundered next combat. Anything to keep the players unhappy.