DM Schticks That Grind Your Gears

[Kafkonia]

Smith Black the Blacksmith is my default blacksmith, he shows up in any game where I need a blacksmith.

And he will now appear in any game of mine as well!

Smith Black... I wish I'd thought of that.

 

[Krelios]

And a couple more, these ones for the RP'ers:

It's the end of the world as we know it, and it's not fine

You ask the GM over and over what kind of game he's going to run. He says "Heavy RP" you say cool. You ask him about the region where the game is starting. He gives it to you. You then craft a wonderfully in-depth character background utilizing your knowledge of the area and the names of NPC's the GM has given you. You spend skill points/character points for local knowledge, contacts, etc for some juicy roleplaying in the region. You can't wait to immerse yourself in the new world.

Two weeks later you're enjoying yourself when RAWRBLAM!!! a Super-Duper BBEG from out of nowhere utterly destroys the entire region. Your background and knowledge of the local region are now completely worthless as the entire game devolves into chasing after the BBEG, never stopping long enough in one place to actually portray your character in any meaningful sense.

Sounds like a good campaign. Sh*t happens in the real world and world-shaking events can make a wonderful adventure.

Or the same as above except for an apocalyptic scene of mass destruction, your Powerful NPC Mentor (tm) sends you and your companions off on a loooooooooooong adventure thousands of miles away from the "starting point" of the adventure. When questioned later the GM says "I said we'd start there, I never said anything about staying there..."

Again, expect the unexpected should be par for the course for adventurers.

 

[kigmatzomat]

There are times when horses should be targetted. First off, lots of unintelligent animals will target horses more often than riders (think mountain lions here).
Secondly, sometimes it makes sense to target a horse.
Of course, sometimes PCs cry out "Don't hurt the horses!" because they want them for themselves, either to ride or for trade value. NPCs should make the same kinds of decisions.
RC

QFT

I'll try something else then

How often do NPCs not have an escape plan of some kind? Something better than "steal their horses and escape with them"? That kind of plan has an obvious flaw... To put it another way, I can't think of many circumstances when NPCs would try to preserve the horses.

Slight tangent.

All NPCs fight to the death. Good gravy, I once had a stable-boy bite my ankles like a rabid weasel because I, a heavily armed & armored desperado, was stiffing the stable 1sp by leaving in the middle of the night (Note: the inn is currently on fire from the mage-battle that occurred inside). I was playing an evil character but I didn't see the need in killing a 10yro kid over a freaking silver piece I was too busy to dig out of my pocket.

As a DM, in a more recent game I remember the look of shock on players faces the first time I had a giant chuck his axe into the forest and offer to pay for his life. It was like a cockroach started spouting MacBeth. The concept that someone might be willing to buy their way out of death was completely alien.

 

[Satori]

Two of my absolute favorites.

1. I Hate Humans and Fighters...so no Humans or Fighters in my game.
-Ok...it is one thing to feel that the optional half-dragon template is overpowered...or maybe Dark Elves give you a bad taste in your mouth. But I've had a DM that would outlaw favored Core classes/races for no other reason than, "They bug me."

2. The Destroyer of Dreams
-DM: "I want a two page history, item weight down the ounce, and a complete Freudian personality make up"
-PC: "Phew! It took me a week to create this guy...but he's awesome and I'm really looking forward to playing him!"
-DM: "You encounter a Tarrasque that eats your face and jumps rope with your intestines. Create another character."

You are specifically told to create incredibly in-depth, intriguing, unique characters. What you aren't told is that you'll be forced to do this several dozen times because the DM enjoys killing PCs.

This also translates into DMs that specifically try and kill a PC for personal reasons. They don't like the race, alignment, PrClass, etc...so instead of talking to the player about possible changes...they detonate their pet PC right in front of their eyes.

 

[Rystil Arden]

I can only see a problem if Hellfinster the Wizard also shows up in your Spycraft game. And even then that's fine if he's been "translated" into Hellfinster the Department Chief or something.

Recycling is perfectly fine, in my opinion. Smith Black the Blacksmith is my default blacksmith, he shows up in any game where I need a blacksmith. There is the possibility of NPCs overshadowing the players, being the DM's pets, etc. but those are separate issues.

Dagger75 seemed to be talking about this in the same genre. His quote was "Didn't this wizard hire us in the last game you ran." I really don't see why this is bad. In fact, I find it better to do this if I am running games that have a shared world because it helps increase the sense of verisimilitude and helps the players connect to the setting. Plus it offers a unique way to display more than one side of a complicated character. The kind (but Lawful Neutral with tendencies both ways, though she views herself as Lawful Good and pragmatic) benefactor of one PC is the puppetmaster pulling the strings in another game, and she hired a Rogue PC's mentor from a third game to pull off the heist for her.

 

[Raven Crowking]

But it's not about riding off with them. Horses are expensive items, and unlike magic items, there are a lot of people in the world who want them. They're probably almost as liquid a commodity as gold and gems.

Exactly.

If you think you take the opponent without harming the horses, you do it. If you think the horses are your opponent's weak spot, you exploit it. Easy as that.

Of course, a stupid ogre might not think to smash the horse, and a mountain lion (or, for that matter, a dragon) wouldn't have reason to keep it.

RC

 

[jeffh]

Every important NPC is the conniving DM.
Why is it when running through ye olde Convoluted Mystery every damn NPC that matters holds back as much information as possible, has to be pumped hard for any useful information even little tidbits that do not matter to the NPC, cannot offer anything like a fair deal without it being carefully negotiated for by the PCs, and are ingrateful wretches who do not volunteer information even after saving their worthless life?

I like mysteries. But after a while it feels like the DM is punishing the party for failing to metagame as Sherlock Columbo.

YES! This is one of the biggest reasons why I left the last group I played (rather than GMed) in in mid-session and never came back. (#3 is essentially what eventually killed that campaign, incidentally, three or four sessions after my departure).

 

[The Thayan Menace]

Anime is Evil

Again, expect the unexpected should be par for the course for adventurers.

It's also the theme for Cardcaptors.

-Samir

 

[Mouseferatu]

The guy you're working for/who hired you is actually the main bad guy in disguise, manipulating you into doing his dirty work.

Now, let me clarify. I like that particular trick, and I've used it myself, but it's got to be done in moderation. As a PC, I don't mind being set up/manipulated occasionally. It's great for building enmity with the villain. But I've played under DMs for whom this was the case every. Single. Time. Not only across multiple adventures, but across multiple campaigns. Sometimes he'd shake it up by having the guy be a disguised third party, rather than the disguised villain, but that was it.

Enough already.

 

[Raven Crowking]

As a DM, in a more recent game I remember the look of shock on players faces the first time I had a giant chuck his axe into the forest and offer to pay for his life. It was like a cockroach started spouting MacBeth. The concept that someone might be willing to buy their way out of death was completely alien.

Absolutely makes sense.

In my story hour, I ran a fun encounter with orcs:

The group came across six orcs. For a few tense moments, the two groups stood their ground, choosing their positions.

“We do not wish to fight you,” Firestar, the half-orc paladin said. “Step aside, and we will be on our way.”

The orc captain sized up the respective might of his troops, and of those they faced. “All who would pass here must pay a toll,” he said at last.

Then two dire boars crashed through the forest, distracting both parties. Other feuds were, for the moment, forgotten. Only one orc – one of the archers – remained standing. He looked at the adventuring party. They were sorely wounded, but they were all standing. It was not difficult to imagine how he would fare in combat against them.

“You have proved your valour in combat,” the orc said. “You may go forward without paying a toll.”​