Q. What does a Sembian say when you blow in his ear?
A. "Thanks for the refill"
An elf and a troll walk into a restaurant. When the waiter came over, the elf said "I'd like a salad and a side order of radishes, please."
"What will the troll have?"
"Nothing for him."
"Isn't he hungry?"
"Idiot!" the elf exclaimed in disbelief. "If he were hungry, would I be sitting here?"
An adventurer walks into a bar in Pavis. Just as he's about to down a mug, someone runs in and screams "Run, run! Big Torg's in town! Run for your lives!"
Just as the adventurer's about to leave a huge troll, standing seven feet tall and weighing 300 pounds, kicks in the door and stomps on in. Grabbing the adventurer by the arm and tossing him over the bar, the troll grumbles "Gimme a drink!"
The adventurer hands over a bottle of booze, which the troll pops in its mouth. Crunching broken glass, it smacked its lips with relish.
"Can I get you another?" the adventurer stammered.
"No, I gots to go" the troll grunted. "Big Torg's a-comin."
A Sembian merchant was counting his money late at night when Cyric the Prince of Lies appeared and offered him a deal. As of that moment, he offered, the merchant would sell twice as much volume, make twice as much money, work half the hours and be assured of a lifetime twice as long.
"All I want in exchange," Cyric said, "is your soul and the souls of your wife, children, friends, ancestors and descendants."
The Sembian looked at Cyric suspiciously. "So, what's the catch?"
And I'm afraid this last set is a bit RuneQuest Glorantha specific:
Top 10 reasons why Trolls are better than Ducks
• Ducks drink swamp-herb tea. Trolls drink Powzie!
• Ducks: Frenzied attempts to bite your kneecaps off. Trolls: Crush 4, Bludgeon 4 on a maul, to your head.
• Duck holidays are typically dour contemplation at the Humakt temple. Troll holidays are typically getting drunk and slamdancing at the Zorak Zoran temple until you chunder.
• Ducks can't make the minimum height requirements for all the cool rides in the God Forgot amusement parks.
• Trolls don't need to outrun the lion; they just outrun the duck next to them.
• Troll heroes: heavy hitters like Cragspider, Arkat, Gerak Kag. Duck heroes: Donald, Daffy and Toilet.
• Trollish fears are of terrors and secrets beyond mankind's comprehension, ancient feuds with powerful races, and horrors that would snap lesser minds. A duck's biggest fear is feather molt.
• Ducks ride fat, short, cute, gentle little ponies. Trolls ride giant tarantulas which can rip a rhino in half.
• Lunar provincial militia suffice to commit genocide against ducks; it took Gbaji to take on the trolls.
• It's never "Troll season."
