?Sounds like you want to play a narrative game. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not the default for D&D and I wouldn't want it to be for several reasons. Good news is there's plenty of games out there that do use that concept and if you like the style I'm sure it's great. You're just never going to convince me that it's better, because it's a preference.
I'm just explaining how the background abilities work as written. I understand that they are outside the parameters of how some people prefer their D&D. That's fine. But if one wants to use them they are still perfectly workable as is and don't generate any extra work for the DM - in fact, used right, they reduce the workload of the DM because they give the players more creative input.