Duck Stats

[Kid Charlemagne]

Use the stats for an owl and call it a day...

Well, call it a duck actually, but you get where I was coming from.

 

[Simplicity]

Yep, and housecats certainly can't take out first level characters either.



Wait a second...

Housecats can draw blood very easily. Sure, a scratch isn't much, but when they bite they mean business. At the very least, a housecat could kill you by very slowly draining you of all blood. A duck would be forced to give you small bruises to death.

 

[ColonelHardisson]

Give him a cigar and you're all set.

Howard the Duck rules.

Yes, yes he does.

 

[greywulf]

Kneel before the Quack Fu Master for he is not the familiar, he is.....Sensei!!

Runequest ducks. Love 'em. I've still got an old copy of Duck Pond somewhere. Hmmmmmmm.

I'd go with:

Tiny Animal, HD 1d8 (4hp), Init +3, Speed 10', AC 15, Attack +1 nibble (1hp on a critical only), F+2 R+3 W+2, STR 6, DEX 12, CON 10, INT 2, WIS 14, CHA 6, Listen +2 Spot +2 Swim +10

Roughly. I'm guessing. It shouldn't be too difficult to build some stats for a TIny Animal and call it "Duck".

Then use the Dire Template from Tome of Horrors

Why stop there.........

 

[Dragonhelm]

Wow, Cam and Trampas in the same thread.

Yeah, we do that.


I decided to order the Runequest duck wizard because of this thread. That's too funny.

And now for something truly weird...


I want a new duck.
One that won't try to bite.
One that won't chew a hole in my socks.
One that won't quack all night.

I want a new duck.
One with big webbed feet.
One that knows how to wash my car,
And keep his room real neat.

One that won't raid the ice box.
One that'll stay in shape.
One that's never gonna try
To migrate or escape,
Or I'll tie him up with duck tape.

I want a new duck.
A mallard, I think.
One that won't make a mess of my house,
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink.

I want a new duck.
One that won't steal my beer.
One that won't stick his bill in my mail.
One that knows "The duck stops here."

One that won't drive me crazy
Waddling all around.
One who'll teach me how to swim,
And help me not to drown.
And show me how to get down.
"How to get down", baby. Get it?

(quack, quack, quack, quack, quack)

I want a new duck.
Not a swan or a goose.
Just a drake I can dress real cute.
Think I'm gonna name him Bruce.

I want a new duck.
Not a quail or an owl.
One that won't molt too much.
One that won't smell too foul.

One that won't beg for breadcrumbs,
Hangin' around all day.
He'd better mind his manners.
Better do just what I say,
Or he's gonna be duck patÚ.
Duck patÚ, yeah yeah.

 

[Slife]

Housecats can draw blood very easily. Sure, a scratch isn't much, but when they bite they mean business. At the very least, a housecat could kill you by very slowly draining you of all blood. A duck would be forced to give you small bruises to death.

Six seconds per round. Four hit points of damage. Minimum damage of 1.

Do the math. A housecat can kill you in twenty-four seconds. Half a minute, tops.

 

[Cam Banks]

Uh oh. Use of Wierd Al. That's a red flag penalty and 10 points to Gryffindor.

Cheers,
Cam

 

[Slife]

Uh oh. Use of Wierd Al. That's a red flag penalty and 10 points to Gryffindor.

Cheers,
Cam

OBJECTION!


Weird Al is lower on the reference fowl heirarchy than Monty Python. Now, if they had mentioned witches, *that* would have been worth a red flag.

 

[kibbitz]

Weird Al's 'I Want A New Duck'?

edit: darn, I'm slow