When i Ref, I've always asked the players to write down exactly where their equipment is (backpack, belt, pack animal etc) which makes it easy to stop the silly overloading ("so how exactly are you carrying two glaives, two tents, 500 gp and a heavy crossbow in your backpack?") without having to get too excited on the totals, but the players are fairly good about tracking total weights to avoid getting slowed in combat - possibly because the only time i ever check is when PC's insist that their light loaded without me seeing the sums....
Last night (me as player) we had to get a statue back to the owner and ended up making a warforged drawn sledge. Because everyone knew approx what they were carrying it was easy to work out how to drag the sledge, and if we could carry anything else (the answer turned out to be either one warforged, with misc. equipment spread between the rest of the party, or one warforged and one cleric with the rest of the party combat ready) the conversation took only a few minutes and didnt effect the flow of the adventure - most amusement came from the artificer continually adding bits and pieces to the sledge ("Whats the candlestick for?" "It might get dark....I've put a brake on as well as some railings for me to stand on the back" )
Because we have got into the habit of doing it automatically it doesnt become a chore and so doesnt really require policing.
As I side effect, i've noticed that we continually seem to be running short of supplies, even with 2 x HHH in the party, as everyone tries to optimise their own gear. Having run out of sacks and light rods last night we're going to get together before the next adventure and make sure we have stuff spread over the party. Seems more realistic this way......and definitely encourages the last minute shop before starting any adventure !