WhimsyTheFae
Explorer
Cool...I think that I have something. I just have to let it simmer for a bit and see how it turns out.
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NOW LIVE! Into the Woods--new character species, eerie monsters, and haunting villains to populate the woodlands of your D&D games.
ENW Short Story Smackdown Summer 07 (Winner Announced)
- Thread starter Rodrigo Istalindir
- Start date
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
orchid blossom
Explorer
How did I miss this starting up? Good luck to all involved. 
I might decide to write again come fall...
I might decide to write again come fall...
awayfarer
First Post
Courtroom Drama
I made a mistake…
…”Right there on page three.” Jim said. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Prosecuting this guy should have been a cinch. Here I had a middle-aged, cross-dressing janitor with a room temperature IQ and a knife collection. The guy is an ex-con too, there’s no way I could lose. A second ago I had a case that could link this guy to seven homicides, now I’ve got nothing. I freeze. The hammer-headed judge is staring at me as I stammer. He’s one of those stereotypical, stern southern judges that would send someone to the chair for jaywalking if they could. I can imagine him forgoing the gavel and just bashing his head on the stand. Holy god it is hot in here.
Ever notice how difficult it is to concentrate on a major disaster? The mind suddenly becomes alert and picks up everything about everything. Frantic, that’s the way to describe it, frantic. I straighten my tie and cough. I call for a thirty-minute recess and Hammerhead makes some snide remark but allows it. I hear Jim's voice in my head. “You know what to do.” I nod at him and he gives me a bit of a funny look, as does Agnes.
We leave the courtroom. Agnes doesn’t know about the telepathy. Jim started speaking directly into my mind a few months ago, right around the time I found the box. Oh, he stares at me funny when I nod or agree with the things he communicates mentally but that’s just for show of course. We don't want people knowing about the telepathy. I usually can’t hear what he’s thinking; I guess he’s good at keeping people out. As we walk out, Agnes asks me if I’m all right in her grandmotherly sort of way. I nod. Hell it’s hot in here. I need cold water. I need cold water and the box. The box will know.
I enter the men’s room. It’s that sort of weird pale green that you always see in hospitals and government buildings and is supposed to keep people calm. Good luck with that. I enter a stall with my briefcase and pull my pants around my ankles for the look of the thing. I open my briefcase and stand the box up.
I bought this briefcase years ago but didn’t notice the little secret compartment until a this March; around the same time that Jim started talking to me telepathically. The compartment was pretty cleverly hidden. It lined up with edges of the walls seamlessly such that you’d need to know where it was to find it. Except for Jim, he knew where it was. “What’s that, a Milton Slimline?” He said and he pointed just where I would need to dig with my fingernail. Agnes still didn’t know and she was a bit religious. It was probably best not to let her know.
I have 23 minutes left when it finally clicks on and start speaking. “Hi Dave! Oh hell, I don’t know why you’ve got your pants down but I think you’re going to be disappointed!” It laughs and starts tossing its balls around. It reminds me of that little hourglass icon you get when a computer is loading something. At this point, I’m fairly certain that this is how the box thinks. It needs to juggle.
“What’s on your mind Dave?” It practically shouts this a in a highly mirthful tone. The door to the men’s room squeaks on its hinges and I yelp as someone walks in. From the look of the shoes I gather that it’s one of the defense attorneys. I shush the box but speak in a whisper when I begin to hear a steady stream of urine. Mr. Defense drinks a lot of coffee. It’ll be a while.
“I made a mistake.” I say quietly and a few strands of hair fall out of place and cover my eyes as I lean closer to the box. “It’s all wrong. How do I get this right again? How do I put this guy away?”
“Ooh, that’s a tough one Dave. Let me think about it a moment.” The box says as it begins to toss its balls around. Mr. Defense is still peeing somehow. Who’d have thought the man had so much piss in him? It’s practically another minute and by now I’m absolutely astonished at how long this guy must have been holding it. He looked sort of bloated too. He finishes just as the box stops juggling to speak. “Gonna be a bit longer Dave, this is a real poser.” I just nod and make a weak effort to straighten my hair. Mr. Defense washes up and leaves. My vision of him is blocked but of course I can still hear him.
I hear the mens room door open and in short order the stall door on my left is opened and shut. I see a pair of black boots. I see a length of black cloth dangling in the next stall and I realize that it's the honorable Judge Hammerhead, having left the bench to take up the throne. The box quietly juggles away while I simply stare at hammerheads boots. Who wears black cowboy boots?
Or for that matter, who wears rainbow colored argyle socks? For the first time I notice that the stall on my right is occupied by someone with small feet and no shoes. There's something white and feathery dangling from the stall door. Some sort of childish curiosity gets the better of me and I lean forward to see if I can get a slightly better view of the shoe-less bathroom-goer but it's tough with the box on my lap. From what little I can tell, it's... no that can't be right. Those are some pretty feminine looking ankles. At least I think they are. They're small and of course my vision is a bit obscured by the socks.
I'm a bit startled when I hear a whisper and I let out a yelp that's stifled by a loud fart from Hammerhead. The whisper starts again from the stall next to me. "Psst, David... are you sure this is right?" It's definitely a female voice. What is a shoe-less woman doing in the mens room? Between Judge Hammerhead and his black cowboy boots and this shoe less woman, I feel like I'm surrounded by nutcases.
"David, are you doing the right thing? What do you think David? Do you think that man is guilty?" the woman says. "Shut up!" I shoot back in a hoarse whisper. "Thats not important here!"
"Prosecutor, is that you?" I hear in a slow southern drawl punctuated by a tiny bit of gas.
"You don't think he's guilty do you David? Why do this to him? You know what the judge is going to sentence him to don't you?" she says. She's whispering pretty quietly but I'd still be surprised if his honor didn't hear her. It's quiet in here. It's quiet and lord it's warm in here. I can feel the box heat up as it juggles a bit faster. I wish I could somehow buy a heat sink for the thing.
"Thats not up to me. Look, all this evidence I have points...pointed to the guy, and it will point to him again when I'm done here."
"Mr. Prosecutor, are you all right in there?
"Um, yes, yes your honor! Just...thinking. Just had to do some thinking!"
"Well, I guess you picked the right spot for it." He stands up and starts to make liberal use of the toilet paper. "Just pull yourself together and send this bastard my way all right?" The way he says it makes it sound like I'm handing him a birthday present; one he knows about already but that he still has to wait for me to finish wrapping. He finishes with the paper, dropping a little use half-square on the ground as if I needed any more excuse to stop looking in that direction. I hear him wash his hands of the mess and stride easily out of the room.
The box comes back out of it's juggling trance. "Got it Dave. Here, write this down." He dictates a few things to me and I make a few corrections to my notes. Great, no jury in the world would fail to convict this guy now. "Nice workin' with ya Dave. Be sure to flush for that added bit of realism." it chuckles as I seal it back away in the briefcase. I notice now that the socked feet are missing from the other stall. I walk out and see the woman for what she is now. I can only assume that she's an angel as she slides her wings back into place after removing them from the peg on the stall door. I didn't know they could do that but I guess they would make going to the bathroom difficult. Furthermore, I hadn't realized that angels were generally nude, well, except for the argyle socks.
She's beautiful but with a sort of pensive mournful look in those big eyes. I tell myself that thats what I notice first because of course, nobody wants to admit to ogling the divine or supernatural. "David" she says quietly and with incredible calm "You're going to do it aren't you? You're going to win the case now? But you don't think he did any of it, you just think he's an easy target. Why should you continue like this?" she asks coolly.
I breathe deeply and stop for a moment to gather my thoughts. "Angel" I say "Does it matter if he did it or not? The man's already been convicted of a number of crimes in the past. He's just a drain on society. He lives his life with his weird fetishes and bizarre behavior. He upsets people. He doesn't fit in. It's bad enough to be a man with such problems, but to not even try to work past them is his biggest crime. Who cares if he killed them or not? He has other things to atone for and he's had years to do so. We don't need people like that. I am not going to allow lunatics and nutcases to walks the streets out there. It'll be safer for all of us if he's dead."
I stand straight and smooth back my hair. The angle shakes her head, sighs, straightens my tie and pats me on the shoulder. To my surprise she walks out the door. I expected some kind of ascending through the ceiling or something.
Moments later I open the door and stride out into the cool, empty hall. My footsteps ring out like gunshots in the large chamber as I stride purposefully to the courtroom, grip the heavy door in one hand and swing it wide open.
I made a mistake…
…”Right there on page three.” Jim said. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Prosecuting this guy should have been a cinch. Here I had a middle-aged, cross-dressing janitor with a room temperature IQ and a knife collection. The guy is an ex-con too, there’s no way I could lose. A second ago I had a case that could link this guy to seven homicides, now I’ve got nothing. I freeze. The hammer-headed judge is staring at me as I stammer. He’s one of those stereotypical, stern southern judges that would send someone to the chair for jaywalking if they could. I can imagine him forgoing the gavel and just bashing his head on the stand. Holy god it is hot in here.
Ever notice how difficult it is to concentrate on a major disaster? The mind suddenly becomes alert and picks up everything about everything. Frantic, that’s the way to describe it, frantic. I straighten my tie and cough. I call for a thirty-minute recess and Hammerhead makes some snide remark but allows it. I hear Jim's voice in my head. “You know what to do.” I nod at him and he gives me a bit of a funny look, as does Agnes.
We leave the courtroom. Agnes doesn’t know about the telepathy. Jim started speaking directly into my mind a few months ago, right around the time I found the box. Oh, he stares at me funny when I nod or agree with the things he communicates mentally but that’s just for show of course. We don't want people knowing about the telepathy. I usually can’t hear what he’s thinking; I guess he’s good at keeping people out. As we walk out, Agnes asks me if I’m all right in her grandmotherly sort of way. I nod. Hell it’s hot in here. I need cold water. I need cold water and the box. The box will know.
I enter the men’s room. It’s that sort of weird pale green that you always see in hospitals and government buildings and is supposed to keep people calm. Good luck with that. I enter a stall with my briefcase and pull my pants around my ankles for the look of the thing. I open my briefcase and stand the box up.
I bought this briefcase years ago but didn’t notice the little secret compartment until a this March; around the same time that Jim started talking to me telepathically. The compartment was pretty cleverly hidden. It lined up with edges of the walls seamlessly such that you’d need to know where it was to find it. Except for Jim, he knew where it was. “What’s that, a Milton Slimline?” He said and he pointed just where I would need to dig with my fingernail. Agnes still didn’t know and she was a bit religious. It was probably best not to let her know.
I have 23 minutes left when it finally clicks on and start speaking. “Hi Dave! Oh hell, I don’t know why you’ve got your pants down but I think you’re going to be disappointed!” It laughs and starts tossing its balls around. It reminds me of that little hourglass icon you get when a computer is loading something. At this point, I’m fairly certain that this is how the box thinks. It needs to juggle.
“What’s on your mind Dave?” It practically shouts this a in a highly mirthful tone. The door to the men’s room squeaks on its hinges and I yelp as someone walks in. From the look of the shoes I gather that it’s one of the defense attorneys. I shush the box but speak in a whisper when I begin to hear a steady stream of urine. Mr. Defense drinks a lot of coffee. It’ll be a while.
“I made a mistake.” I say quietly and a few strands of hair fall out of place and cover my eyes as I lean closer to the box. “It’s all wrong. How do I get this right again? How do I put this guy away?”
“Ooh, that’s a tough one Dave. Let me think about it a moment.” The box says as it begins to toss its balls around. Mr. Defense is still peeing somehow. Who’d have thought the man had so much piss in him? It’s practically another minute and by now I’m absolutely astonished at how long this guy must have been holding it. He looked sort of bloated too. He finishes just as the box stops juggling to speak. “Gonna be a bit longer Dave, this is a real poser.” I just nod and make a weak effort to straighten my hair. Mr. Defense washes up and leaves. My vision of him is blocked but of course I can still hear him.
I hear the mens room door open and in short order the stall door on my left is opened and shut. I see a pair of black boots. I see a length of black cloth dangling in the next stall and I realize that it's the honorable Judge Hammerhead, having left the bench to take up the throne. The box quietly juggles away while I simply stare at hammerheads boots. Who wears black cowboy boots?
Or for that matter, who wears rainbow colored argyle socks? For the first time I notice that the stall on my right is occupied by someone with small feet and no shoes. There's something white and feathery dangling from the stall door. Some sort of childish curiosity gets the better of me and I lean forward to see if I can get a slightly better view of the shoe-less bathroom-goer but it's tough with the box on my lap. From what little I can tell, it's... no that can't be right. Those are some pretty feminine looking ankles. At least I think they are. They're small and of course my vision is a bit obscured by the socks.
I'm a bit startled when I hear a whisper and I let out a yelp that's stifled by a loud fart from Hammerhead. The whisper starts again from the stall next to me. "Psst, David... are you sure this is right?" It's definitely a female voice. What is a shoe-less woman doing in the mens room? Between Judge Hammerhead and his black cowboy boots and this shoe less woman, I feel like I'm surrounded by nutcases.
"David, are you doing the right thing? What do you think David? Do you think that man is guilty?" the woman says. "Shut up!" I shoot back in a hoarse whisper. "Thats not important here!"
"Prosecutor, is that you?" I hear in a slow southern drawl punctuated by a tiny bit of gas.
"You don't think he's guilty do you David? Why do this to him? You know what the judge is going to sentence him to don't you?" she says. She's whispering pretty quietly but I'd still be surprised if his honor didn't hear her. It's quiet in here. It's quiet and lord it's warm in here. I can feel the box heat up as it juggles a bit faster. I wish I could somehow buy a heat sink for the thing.
"Thats not up to me. Look, all this evidence I have points...pointed to the guy, and it will point to him again when I'm done here."
"Mr. Prosecutor, are you all right in there?
"Um, yes, yes your honor! Just...thinking. Just had to do some thinking!"
"Well, I guess you picked the right spot for it." He stands up and starts to make liberal use of the toilet paper. "Just pull yourself together and send this bastard my way all right?" The way he says it makes it sound like I'm handing him a birthday present; one he knows about already but that he still has to wait for me to finish wrapping. He finishes with the paper, dropping a little use half-square on the ground as if I needed any more excuse to stop looking in that direction. I hear him wash his hands of the mess and stride easily out of the room.
The box comes back out of it's juggling trance. "Got it Dave. Here, write this down." He dictates a few things to me and I make a few corrections to my notes. Great, no jury in the world would fail to convict this guy now. "Nice workin' with ya Dave. Be sure to flush for that added bit of realism." it chuckles as I seal it back away in the briefcase. I notice now that the socked feet are missing from the other stall. I walk out and see the woman for what she is now. I can only assume that she's an angel as she slides her wings back into place after removing them from the peg on the stall door. I didn't know they could do that but I guess they would make going to the bathroom difficult. Furthermore, I hadn't realized that angels were generally nude, well, except for the argyle socks.
She's beautiful but with a sort of pensive mournful look in those big eyes. I tell myself that thats what I notice first because of course, nobody wants to admit to ogling the divine or supernatural. "David" she says quietly and with incredible calm "You're going to do it aren't you? You're going to win the case now? But you don't think he did any of it, you just think he's an easy target. Why should you continue like this?" she asks coolly.
I breathe deeply and stop for a moment to gather my thoughts. "Angel" I say "Does it matter if he did it or not? The man's already been convicted of a number of crimes in the past. He's just a drain on society. He lives his life with his weird fetishes and bizarre behavior. He upsets people. He doesn't fit in. It's bad enough to be a man with such problems, but to not even try to work past them is his biggest crime. Who cares if he killed them or not? He has other things to atone for and he's had years to do so. We don't need people like that. I am not going to allow lunatics and nutcases to walks the streets out there. It'll be safer for all of us if he's dead."
I stand straight and smooth back my hair. The angle shakes her head, sighs, straightens my tie and pats me on the shoulder. To my surprise she walks out the door. I expected some kind of ascending through the ceiling or something.
Moments later I open the door and stride out into the cool, empty hall. My footsteps ring out like gunshots in the large chamber as I stride purposefully to the courtroom, grip the heavy door in one hand and swing it wide open.
Rodrigo Istalindir
Explorer
Dog Moon said:
I was wondering when someone would make the mistake of asking that.
Piratecat does the 'Pantsless Dance of Victory', Herremann's Lady Death is something of an exhibitionist, and I write 'commando'.
maxfieldjadenfox
First Post
yangnome said:
Yeah, that creeped me out. To quote someone (maybe Orchid Blossom) "Dang, Skippy!" Sorry you're not finding inspiration in the "tame" pictures.
Karma. It's what's for dinner.
Avatar_V
First Post
I'm still in (in response to the 'if confirmed' by my name above ). I'm going to be out of town until about noon on 7/10, but that should still give me time to get something in.
Also, apologies for the slow response here - my in-laws are visiting so I haven't had as much internet-browsing time as usual
). I'm going to be out of town until about noon on 7/10, but that should still give me time to get something in.Also, apologies for the slow response here - my in-laws are visiting so I haven't had as much internet-browsing time as usual
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