ENW Short Story Smackdown Summer 07 (Winner Announced)

awayfarer

First Post
Avatar_V said:
Whoa, I just read Awayfarer's story (very good, by the way - I've got tough competition!) and let me just say - [sblock] What the heck?! We both decided to make one of the guys at the urinal a shady character named 'Vinny'? And we both had the chick by the teepee converse with her shadow? Talk about a strange coincidence! Heh, I guess he really must look like a 'Vinny' :) [/sblock]

I don't know that I would call it very good , but thanks. :)

[sblock] Man, thats wierd about Vinny and the shadow. There must be something subliminal in those pics.

Without reading your story (just got back from work) I should mention that I think this round will go to you. I tried to do about a dozen different things with mine and had to ditch a slew of things to finish on time. I think mines suffering from a bit of Piers Anthony Syndrome, in that my story is basically a pile of wierd stuff without a lot of depth.

Gonna grab lunch and read through Avatar Vinny's now. [/sblock]
 

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Avatar_V

First Post
awayfarer said:
I don't know that I would call it very good , but thanks. :)
My response, in the obligatory sblock to hide it from the judges :) :

[sblock]I wouldn't write yourself off yet. You'll find that our stories are actually quite similar in many ways (even if not in subject - save for Vinny). Your story may not be deep, but neither is mine.

I've never tried 'humor writing' before, but felt that the pictures really lent themselves to that style, so I gave it a go. The result is a story in which I focused a lot on the 'entertainment' and 'comedy' values, but the 'depth' suffered.

Honestly, with the types of stories we've come up with, the winner may be the one that elicits the most chuckles. I believe that my story has some strong points there (the middle is weak, sadly), but yours is a bit more consistent. We'll see what happens :) Best of luck!
[/sblock]
 


awayfarer

First Post
I just took a look at the pics for the Trench/Cevalic matchup and I must say, I would not want to be either of them right now. I think I'd have a tough time with those, although mutant-baby gives me some ideas.

Avatar_V said:
My response, in the obligatory sblock to hide it from the judges :) :

[sblock]I wouldn't write yourself off yet. You'll find that our stories are actually quite similar in many ways (even if not in subject - save for Vinny). Your story may not be deep, but neither is mine.

I've never tried 'humor writing' before, but felt that the pictures really lent themselves to that style, so I gave it a go. The result is a story in which I focused a lot on the 'entertainment' and 'comedy' values, but the 'depth' suffered.

Honestly, with the types of stories we've come up with, the winner may be the one that elicits the most chuckles. I believe that my story has some strong points there (the middle is weak, sadly), but yours is a bit more consistent. We'll see what happens :) Best of luck!
[/sblock]

[sblock] There was definitely a humorous bent to the pics this round. The exception might be the tree, but thats pretty heavily in the realm of fantasy and can easily be brought around to something nonsensical. I was sort of uncertain about trying a humorous story too, but I think it could have turned out worse.

Come to think of it, the short time span we're given doesn't really lend itself well to a really immersive story. I guess that's just one of the challenges to work with.[/sblock]

Y'know, I think we're being too supportive and polite. Maybe a little smack talk is in order.[1920's handlebar-mustachioed villain voice] Let me be the first to say that your father was a hooligan, your mother was a ragamuffin and you have a problem with that, it will be fisticuffs ye vagabond! [/1920's handlebar-mustachioed villain voice]
 

yangnome

First Post
They first made contact in the year 2016, a mere 5 years before they brought the end to life as we knew it. No doubt there were some who knew, or at least suspected their existence prior to the contact. Most though were unaware of the threat that lay before us.

Looking back, I do not know what protection these protections would have offered. Policies could have been put in place to quarantine the new arrivals, but this likely would have had no affect on their spread. Their species is a scavenger, a parasite. Once they discovered that our planet was hospitable to their type, our fate was sealed.

Naturally, most people were excited to hear of the discovery. Throughout the history of our kind, we had always wondered if there was something—someone—else out there.

When we received the answer, naturally there were many different reactions. There were many who were filled with joy and excitement. I admit, I was one of them. The notion that other species lived out beyond our stars fostered a certain feeling of hope—it opened the prospect of a new frontier with questions and answers waiting to be discovered. If they were able to come and survive on our planet, surely there must be other planets out there that could support our kind.

Others were naturally filled with dread. Over the course of history, many cultures had placed their beliefs in fictional beings of power. Each generation passed tales to the next generation cementing the notion of their deities within their offspring. Many cultures revolved around these deities and the beliefs they shared. While some of these legends could support the idea of life outside our own world, many of them could not. There were many who found their belief systems shattered. This caused many to lose hope—indeed, many killed themselves before the parasites drove underground.

Still, most, once they accepted the paradigm shift, looked toward the revelation with growing excitement. The prospect that we would be able to share our cultures with those from another planet—a species that had evolved completely separate from us-- was certainly a thrilling idea to most, even if it was intimidating. They seemed to be as curious about our cultures as we were of theirs. It seemed to us that each group had a lot to learn from one another.

Initially, things were peaceful between the two races. Though we were very different, we also had many things in common with one another. It was obvious that their technology was far superior to ours. We of course hadn’t even managed to travel outside our own solar system by the time they traveled to our galaxy. Still, we were a proud people and we welcomed our new neighbors.

On the first anniversary of the first contact, we celebrated with our new friends. A few more ships had arrived by this time, but their population was still relatively low. These new guests would likely stake a life here as their life expectancy would not allow them time to return to their own planet. Our united planet council in an effort of displaying our welcome of them erected a monument to their arrival. It was a large combination of religious symbols—some of theirs and some of ours, meant to represent the changes that had occurred to our beliefs when we found one another. We held a planet-wide celebration that lasted for days. We celebrated and shared our cultural histories with them with feast, song, dance and drink. At the time, they seemed appreciative of our efforts. A number of them spoke, along with our leaders about the cooperation that would exist between our people over the coming years.

There were some who were skeptical of the newcomers motivations. Behind the scenes, various groups worked to convince our politicians that we needed to establish safeguards against the inflow of these new creatures. Most though trusted what they had to say, and let their curiosity get the better of them.

Certainly during the first couple years, there was much to be learned. While they came with a limited amount of resources, their technology was far superior to ours as I have mentioned. Their scientists on their planet had engineered small microscopic machines that could perform amazing functions.

It also didn’t take long before each side realized that the technology and culture weren’t the only things that spawned interest amongst our populations. Anyone who has traveled knows the “foreign effect”—a person in a foreign land is at least 10 times as attractive as they would be at home. The same held true with these newcomers. Our evolutionary path was similar enough that we could mate with one another. This of course opened up a whole new world of possibilities and may have been the cause of the downfall.

I remember the first time I saw one up close. She was an attractive sort. I think we both felt a mutual attraction, or at least curiosity as soon as our eyes met. We met in a dumping station. I was working on a big project, talking to my boss but my attention was on her. He was railing on about something..I was just worried about dropping the call in front of her, but she seemed to be working on a pretty big download of her own. Sitting there, our eyes met, and I have to say it was attraction at first site.

Now, you probably wouldn’t think a dumping station would be the ideal place to meet up for a romantic interlude, but she was anxious to interface then and there once I dumped my connection. It was a steamy scene, but in the excitement of the moment, I accidentally dropped some packets—hey, it was my first go with one of them. She didn’t seem to mind though.

We saw each other for about 18 months after that chance meeting. After about two months, she moved in with me. She didn’t really have any skills to offer, so I supported her, and her daughter. During the day, I would work, while I thought she was home keeping the place together.

Of course, I wasn’t the only mixed couple. Like I said, there was a lot of curiosity, which led to some casual flings—some more sordid than my waste station romance. Some though did get together like us. This led to some strange reactions from others, and may have ultimately led to the problems that brought us to where we are now.

Many, both our kind and theirs grew opposed to the mixed relations. Of course we weren’t able to form fertile couples--which may have been a good or a bad thing, I’m not certain—but even still, many opposed such close relations between two species. They felt it wasn’t natural and could lead to problems. In some places, legislation was actually passed prohibiting inter-special marriage and other commitment contracts.

This movement gained more support as more of them arrived. Instead of becoming more accepting of them, our people grew more suspicious as more and more ships landed and the xenophobic movement grew. Many of our people felt that our culture was being eroded by the influx onto our planet. Many were concerned that our birth rates would plummet if serious relations we re condoned.

It wasn’t until Princess Gabriella, the daughter of the viceroy of the planet council fell in love with one of them. No one knows exactly how long their relationship had actually spanned. There had been rumors of various socialites dating the outsiders in various tabloids over the years. Those of us in similar relations of course paid close attention to this. More than four years after the first encounter though, one of the rumors was substantiated. If an heiress to a high politician like the vice chair were able to maintain a relationship, we felt a change might be in the works to allow all of us more freedom with our relations.

The Princess’ father though, instead of supporting her, threatened to disown her if she pursued her love affair. He used the event to demonstrate how committed he was to the laws and the preservation of our society. The Princess refused to bend to her father’s demands though, and used the press to try to sway public opinion in her favor. The harder the Princess pushed her father, the harder he fought back.

Society’s stance had turned away from the outsiders now as well. Though their culture brought advanced technology and new sciences with them, they did not have enough resources to support themselves. Some were able to do so through teaching their knowledge to us, but many o them had to use our resources to survive. They began mining resources from our planet, and infringing on our markets. This of course led to more backlash from our people.

Princess Gabriella made one more public demonstration of resistance to her father. On the fifth anniversary of the first contact, she met with her love at the monument. There, in front of the cameras and the crowds, they frolicked together in a public display of their love for one another. Some grew angry at the scene and protested, others protested the protestors. Most still are not certain how the event came to pass, but Gabriella climbed the monument, to the top. She then hanged herself from the portion that looked like an earthen cross.

The Viceroy witnessed his daughter’s death on streamed video. He was so angered by what he saw that he ordered the immediate death of his daughter’s love. The viceroy’s troops hung him from the monument not less than 30 minutes after the Princess’ death. His troops also slaughtered more than 200 of them that were present at the event.

Needless to say, events did not end here. The Viceroy’s actions were enough to cause a war between our two species. The humans retaliated against our people. Though their numbers were fewer, their weapons overpowered ours. After months of hard fighting, we were overpowered. Our people were driven into slavery by the humans, forced to mine resources for them to ship back to their planet. A few of us managed to escape underground. I have lived underground for more than ten years now after my human lover tried to betray me.

I use the computer I stole from her to broadcast this message to you, be assured I am one of you. Look into my face, my eyes and see that I have the same fair skin, and same lack of pigment as you. I appeal to my people, and any humans that might sympathize. We need to stand together as one and rise up against our bonds. Our culture has been destroyed and we must fight to rid our planet of these parasites.
 

yangnome

First Post
[sblock]
OK, there is my story for what it is worth. I was getting ready to go to bed at about 1030 and realized that I had completely forgotten about this story and that it is due in the morning. So, here, two hours later, I have a story completed. I haven't had time to reread the story yet, but I don't thik I'm entrirely disappointed with it. It is by far not my best work, but I think there might be something interesting in it. I do feel like it could have used a bit more development in the plot and a longer treatment. I'm not certain that the end entirely gells with what I was thinking and trying to accomplish with the beginning of the story. If I had more time, I could have probably tweaked this a bit and had a much stronger entry> Then again, I guess I'll have to wait and see what the judges thing---they very well may say it is complete crap.

[/sblock]
 

Hellefire

Explorer
my apologies

Congrats to yangnome, and my apologies for not getting my story in on time. Things are happening that made it impossible - I'll elaborate and post my finished story tomorrow, for academic purposes. I know that it sucks to lose this way, its not so great to win this way, and it lessens the whole competition. Truly, I apologize. And grats to yangnome again!

Aaron
 


FickleGM

Explorer
Extinction

ENW Short Story Smackdown Summer '07
Round 1, Match 3 -- FickleGM vs FreeXenon


Extinction


My name is Ogg, and I am not human. Of course, my twin brother Igg isn't human, either. Sure, we can pass as human...degenerate and inbred, perhaps, but human. What we are is the last of our kind. After we die, there will be no more. We are known better by the names that our enemies call us – ogres, trolls, hobgoblins, ettins, and so on. We don't actually have a name for ourselves, but we do have a goal.

Unfortunately, that goal is currently blocked by an army. An army that is aware of our goal and is ready to die to prevent us from reaching it. The army may pose a problem, especially with the guardian angels flying above it, encouraging its soldiers and preparing to bring their celestial power to bare against us. Soon, we will find out, for the gate lies beyond. The gate is our goal and our salvation.

Carved from stone and covered in mystic runes, the great arch will take us from this place of danger and bring us to a place where we will no longer be hunted as monsters. For too long we have been on the run. For too long we have witnessed our brethren put to death by fanatical humans. Today, with courage, strength and luck, we will finally be out of their reach.

The sun has set and the new moon is hiding in the starless sky, so it's time for Igg and me to make our move. Under the cover of darkness, we make our way to the edge of the army. Necks snap, humans die, humans scream and the fight is upon us. What the mortals appear to have forgotten is that we have not lived as long as we have by being easy to kill. Their swords and spears can barely scratch us, let alone actually slay us. Igg has just popped the head off one soldier and is using it as a flail against his assailants, which makes me laugh.

As we get close to the arch, we can see the religious humans praying their spells of protection. Two angels fly above them, both of them carry a sword, but the one that I am interested in has a key in his other hand. The key is the final piece required for our escape. Igg's eyes meet mine and I nod to him that it is time for our surprise. He discards the head and brings out the talisman from under his tunic. Holding it up and chanting some mystic words, Igg snaps the talisman as I make my move.

A bright light fills the sky, as if the sun was rising on the horizon, and the sounds of a heavenly chorus ring across the battlefield. In the distance, beyond the enemy's fort, fires erupt. The army almost comes to a standstill, as the soldiers and clergy look to the lights as a sign from above. Even the angels are taken by surprise, as they hover in front of the arch, pointing at Igg in the distance (Picture 2). Leaping high above the humans, I swat one angel out of the air with my right hand as I grab the key out of the other angel's hand with my left.

Fighting for my life, I wait for Igg to reach me before activating the archway. These humans are tenacious, even if they have no chance against me. The angels, on the other hand, are quite dangerous and their holy swords sting as they pierce my flesh. Any time now, brother. Suddenly, a horse flies over my head and crashes into the attacking angels. Igg is showing off, again.

Turning to the archway, I raise the key and recite the sacred words, as Igg clears some space around me. A shimmering light appears in the opening beneath the archway, signifying our success. Turning to the angry masses, we bow and step back through the portal.

Looking around, it doesn't take long to figure out that we are indeed in a different place. Actually, we were both in a different place and a different time. Standing in the middle of a strange smooth road, the first thing we notice are the iron chariots moving rapidly past us. No horses can be seen pulling the chariots, yet some strange beasts are obviously moving the contraptions from within, as they can be heard trumpeting warning cries toward us as they pass.

Humans walking by also seem to be taken back by our appearances, strange dress and perhaps where we are standing, seeing as they are all walking on a different smooth road. I grab Igg and motion to the "walking road," and we move away from the large road and its iron chariots. Igg suggests that we try to blend in, but in order to do that, we'll need some native clothing. We decide to walk down a side alley and stay clear of the gawking public. Eventually, we come across a group of humans huddled against a building. They appear to be lower class, but two of them are large enough to accomodate our needs. The screams do not appear to bring any support, which is surprising with the number of humans in the area. Perhaps they don't take care about each other any more.

With our new clothing, we should be able to walk amongst the enemy without being recognized. Of course, the humans of this time may not recognize us regardless of our attire, but it's better to be cautious. We still have another task that must be completed before we will truly be safe. We must find the mystic realm, which lies hidden behind the veil innocence. Our only clue is the vision I've seen of a strange device or creature from this time, consisting of a red disk having four silver horns and red spiral tendrils or vines. I have no idea what it is, so we may have to communicate with our enemy to get some answers.

The mortals of this time must be the most oblivious creatures that we have ever seen. Walking past a large reflective wall, we can plainly see that we do not blend in as well as we first thought. Our clothing, while similar, was obviously old and used compared to the clothes of the humans around us. Igg, in particular, has a terrible stain on the front of his shirt that must stand out, yet they only walk around us. The mechanical bracelet that I am wearing, must make me look more respectable. Igg thinks that he should get one, too. Our heads look human enough, but normally stand out so that humans have always reacted to us with fear. Our large ears, in particular, have always been reacted to first (Picture 1). Not here. Not now. Perhaps this will not be as difficult as we first thought.

Well, it's been half a day and we still have no idea what the object is from my vision. Humans are just as fragile as ever, if not moreso. They can't understand descriptions and they don't respond well to torture. I'm about to give up on this tactic. There is a knock at the door of the rundown, abandoned building that we found. An authority figure is demanding entrance and stating that he is an officer of the law. Perhaps he can tell us what the object is. Igg let's the human in and right away there is trouble. The human sees blood and immediately takes a piece of iron from a scabbard on his belt. He's pointing it at us, but it doesn't have a blade, so I tell Igg to hold him down. A loud bang rings out and Igg knocks the human across the room. Igg is now on the floor with blood flowing out of his chest. The human is screaming into a device on his shoulder, saying that he needs backup. Two large strides, a sidestep to avoid his loud weapon and a kick to the head ends his life.

I am alone and for the first time in my long life, I am afraid. These mortals, oblivious and weak, possess weapons that can kill me with relative ease. I am not safe and do not know how to complete my journey. My limited magic is not divinitory in nature and I know of no seers or oracles from this period of time. Lost, I wander from alley to alley, and avoid human contact. Leaning against a metal container of refuse, I look up and see it. Within a strange box containing a transparent side, the object sits. A red disc-like object, with four silver horns and four red tendrils, just like in my vision (Picture 4) The box sits in a clear sack, swinging from the hand of a human woman. Not just any human woman, but the human woman that I must follow. This can not be coincidence.

The woman walks up the steps to the door of a small house. Using a key, she unlocks the door and steps inside. I hide along the side of the house and peer into the windows. The woman sets the bag on a table and turns, as if she hears something in another room. As she blocks the bag from the view of anyone entering the room, a child runs in and hugs the woman. The child, a red-headed girl of approximately twelve years, looks past the woman and directly at me, winking. Her face is the epitome of innocence. My journey is almost complete.

Later that night, I sneak into the house, using a simple incantation to open the lock. Creeping from room to room, I eventually find the girl, sleeping in her bed. As I slowly walk in the door, I notice that the girl is not alone. On her bed lies a black cat and under the foot of the bed rests a dog. I step in front of the bed and prepare to wake the girl when a sudden gust of wind flows through the room, blowing the curtains behind the girl's bed. The girl suddenly sits up in bed and calls me by name. Strange green tentacles erupt from under the bed, presumably coming from the dog, which is now a matching green color. In addition, the dog now has three heads, each containing hypnotic spiraling eyes. The front paws now resembling hands, the beast growls at me in warning. The cat displays its magical nature by revealing antlers on its head, as it stares at me under sleepy eyelids (Picture 3).

I ask the girl if she can take me to the mystic realm and she answers that she is indeed to doorway to the mystic realm. I finally made it. I am finally going to a place where I will be amongst others like me and away from hateful humans. I look into her eyes as they begin to glow. The glow surrounds me and I feel myself fade from this world...the last thing I see are two angels flying from her eyes, pointing celestial blades at me. There is no hate in their expressions, only remorse.
 

Avatar_V

First Post
FickleGM said:
This isn't always fun, I'm learning.

Hehe... I've found that I usually enjoy myself while I'm writing, and I always look back on it as having been fun. For whatever reason, though, I seem to have trouble getting started a lot. And, of course, I often stay up too late with these sorts of things and then being tired at work the next day (and the anticipation of that) is no fun at all. :)
 

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