ENWorld women

[Harlequin_1998]

Unfortunately, I tried having games at our place. She kicked us out.

And as far as interests, she's likes poetry and literature, old movies, soap operas, and laying in bed.

I'm sure she understands how it works, and I'm not trying to get her to start playing or anything, I'd just like her to not give me such a hard time about playing.

 

[WisdomLikeSilence]

Another gamer chick here. I usually don't go out of my way to mention my gender on the boards, though, 'cuz I kinda enjoy seeing whether people react to me differently if they don't know I'm female. Shouldn't make a difference, but it does.

I'm 29, and have been gaming for about 20 years now (it helps to have an older brother who is really into the hobby). I was the only girl in my high-school gaming group, but since then things have evened out considerably. My current group consists of four women and three men (see the Welcome to the Halmae story hour). I think the number of female gamers is definitely increasing, and it's been a while since I was the only woman at a table. I could definitely tell some stories, though, >shudder<.

I prefer not to DM, but that has a lot more to do with my roleplaying style than with gender.

My undergraduate degree is in Political Economy, and I'm starting an MBA program in September.

What else? Hmm, I generally don't bother with makeup, but can be very girly given the proper occasion. We had a girl's afternoon out on Saturday, so at our regular Sunday session half the players showed up with killer manicures. Since I normally never paint my nails, the red flashes are a little distracting as I type...

The first gamer I ever dated was a gorgeous redheaded woman from my college group. The second was a fuzzy guy who won my heart with his ability to convincingly roleplay a prissy female mage. We're still together.

But damn it, I don't play because of my significant other, and I never have. I love the game for its own sake. That’s why I’ve stuck with it for so long.

-WLS

 

[Rel]

Invite her to come to a game session (or have one at your home) where she can observe... she'll gain a new understanding of the process & may become interested enough to try it. If she's not interested in gaming herself, she may at least become slightly less 'anti-gaming.'

In my experience, a lot of people who are against gaming haven't every really tried to understand what it's all about or have misconceptions about RPGs and/or gamers.

Good Luck!

Perhaps it goes without saying, but you will probably want to clear this with the group beforehand. It can tend to put a cramp on people's style when you have an interested person observing the game, much less one who is not too keen on the whole idea.

"Hey, everybody. You all remember my wife? The one who despises gaming? She's going to sit in on our game tonight. Don't worry, she isn't going to interfere with anything. She'll just be sitting in the corner, occasionally sighing exasperatedly, and asking me 'Can we go now?!' every half an hour or so."

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

Hey Djeta! Just curious if you have a tape collection of all of those old MST3K episodes. I probably have about 100 or so of the episodes - 3 to a tape - mostly from the Joel era. That was probably one of the smartest things I've ever done, seeing as the airing rights have expired to just about all of them.

In fact, I was just watching "Catalina Caper" the other night when my wife went to bed.

I do, that. It was a very smart move. Most of them (older episodes) are not even coming out on DVD... Sad really. Catalina Caper is a classic. IMHO, I don't think the newer ones are as good. They're GOOD, mind you, but not the same.

Sampo!

~S

 

[Rel]

Unfortunately, I tried having games at our place. She kicked us out.

And as far as interests, she's likes poetry and literature, old movies, soap operas, and laying in bed.

I'm sure she understands how it works, and I'm not trying to get her to start playing or anything, I'd just like her to not give me such a hard time about playing.

I'm certainly not going to speak ill of your wife, Harlequin. But I think that you deserve from her some respect for your hobby. Now if it is unfairly and unreasonably interfering with you keeping up your end of the marriage (like if you play RPG's 5 nights a week and never have time to help around the house as a result) then she has some ground to stand on.

I feel sure that you have tried this, but ask her how she would feel if you not only disapproved of her watching soap operas, but belittled her choice to do so at every opportunity or actively tried to interfere with her doing it. I'm sure she would think that sucked and that you shouldn't do it. What I'm less clear on is why she would think you don't deserve the same consideration.

 

[Djeta Thernadier]

I'm certainly not going to speak ill of your wife, Harlequin. But I think that you deserve from her some respect for your hobby. Now if it is unfairly and unreasonably interfering with you keeping up your end of the marriage (like if you play RPG's 5 nights a week and never have time to help around the house as a result) then she has some ground to stand on.

I feel sure that you have tried this, but ask her how she would feel if you not only disapproved of her watching soap operas, but belittled her choice to do so at every opportunity or actively tried to interfere with her doing it. I'm sure she would think that sucked and that you shouldn't do it. What I'm less clear on is why she would think you don't deserve the same consideration.

I was wondering the same thing but didn't want to start a really OT battle like happened back in the gamers dating gamers thread...

I spent quite a while with a guy who belittled everything I liked, went so far as to throw out my dvds, cds , collections if they didn't meet with his "approval". As you can imagine, it was a miserable situation, that thank gawd is over now.

It's one thing if you completely ignore your wife and she's upset, but if she is giving you a hard time about doing something you enjoy a few times a week, then you need to have a serious discussion with her about it, if you want it to stop. Ask her if it would be the same if you went fishing a few times a week, or played golf, or did some other activity she was not involved in. Ask her how she'd feel if you gave her a hard time about her hobbies.

Best of luck to you,

~Sheri

 

[jlhorner1974]

Sorry, this is slightly OT from the rest of the thread. I posted in the "Gamers Seeking Gamers" forum already, but I thought I would cross-post here (even though I am a guy).

I have played with about a half-dozen women over the years, and in my experience, it is much more fun to roleplay with women than with men. In all of the games I have DMed with more than one person, there has been at least one woman. I actually prefer to play with women now instead of men, if I can.

In the past couple years, I have run two small campaigns that have been ended because of real-life factors. In both campaigns, I had two women and one man. And they have been the best campaigns I have ever run. All of the women I have played with have had a wonderfully refreshing desire to develop their characters outside of roleplaying mechanics, which is something I love to see as a DM.

I am currently looking for players for a new D&D campaign in the Raleigh, NC area. Couples or single players (age 20+)are encouraged to apply. If you are interested, or know someone who might be interested, please contact me. Click on the link in my signature for more info.

 

[Sialia]

Add me to the census of female gamers.

I am here.

 

[King_Stannis]

Ask her if it would be the same if you went fishing a few times a week, or played golf, or did some other activity she was not involved in. Ask her how she'd feel if you gave her a hard time about her hobbies.

Best of luck to you,

~Sheri

Until my wife started playing, she was glad I was into RPG's because she pretty much always knew where I was. Contrast that to someone who, instead of playing RPG's every friday night, goes out to happy hour with "the guys", and I can't see where any woman would compain. Occasionally my wife (who has been playing now for about 8 years) will tell that to the other players' wives and it makes perfect sense. It's a damn cheap and safe hobby, when it comes down to it.

 

[Angcuru]

Until my wife started playing, she was glad I was into RPG's because she pretty much always knew where I was. Contrast that to someone who, instead of playing RPG's every friday night, goes out to happy hour with "the guys", and I can't see where any woman would compain. Occasionally my wife (who has been playing now for about 8 years) will tell that to the other players' wives and it makes perfect sense. It's a damn cheap and safe hobby, when it comes down to it.

A very good argument/point to bring up, that.