fusangite said:
Originally posted by Silver Moon
Much as discrimination based on something one cannot control (race, sex, etc.) hurts regardless of the underlying reasons behind it, I think it is a mistake to assume that when men try to avoid gaming with you or display obvious discomfort or hostility based on your gender, that this arises from them believing you to be inferior.
Gaming is often tough for people when they are socially uncomfortable; for many gamers, gaming is the only social activity in which they do not feel uncomfortable. For many such maladjusted individuals, the presence of a woman in the group they're gaming with can destroy their sense of social comfort. If such a person has spent their hard-earned money to attend a convention, I can understand why they might feel entitled to be in a group that was exclusively male -- and therefore one in which they could relax and enjoy themselves.
Obviously, such feelings of insecurity spring from a belief in the inequality of male and female gamers but I would argue that they are far more likely to derive from a belief in the superiority, not the inferiority of women.
Sorry, even though I am a male gamer I have to jump in here.
I think the root of a lot of these feelings may be *displayed* as certain male gamers thinking female gamers inferior (game-wise) but to be honest, in my opinion based on observation it kinda falls out in one of these categories more often than not:
1) Insecure men are often threatened by self-assured, empowered women. Most female gamers I've met (and the few I've played with) tend to be independent women with brains and the greatsword to back it up, and that rattles a lot of men (the actual reason for which eludes me to this day...)
2) Men are competitive. Even though in most RPG's you don't "win", per se, most guys are still competitive and secretly harbor the urge to be the guy who outplays, outfights, or out-whatevers the other guys. For this guy, the mere *thought* of a woman being there that may possibly do something cooler or better than him is intolerable, and to me equally silly as point 1).
3) Limited female contact. Let's face it, most gamer guys are NOT the pinnacle of coolness or Brad-Pitt-rugged-but-sensitive-blah-blah-blah; many dont even have an actual working knowledge of girls, but have plenty of schematics hidden between their mattresses. The worst in this category may feel so embarressed by a woman, especially one he may be attracted to, seeing him act out his testosterone-soaked fantasies of James-Bond-Meets-Conan male physicality that they feel totally unable to get into character in the presense of a female. This one is just sad, however can be cured by getting an actual date sometime, or at least by doing things in real life that they may only role-play (except for the whole 'hitting people with sharp objects' part, folks don't even try that at home)
Or, as a female player in one of jonrog1's story hours, who gets picked on all the time by the other males, put it:
"Stoopid Stoopid boys" ;^)
And girls, I dont understand the behaviors of the males I've described above, so dont hold it against all of us; there are a few adult males out there to game with (at least, as adult as a man can get while playing with little metal hand-painted dolls, er, ahem, 'action figures', arguing over a dice roll without any money involved, and pantomiming imaginary sword swings while his friends say things like 'sweeeeet')
Get the silver bullets! No, wait, that's not right...
