Eventuallity...

[Jdvn1]

So which would happen first, woodchucks chucking wood or the trees sprouting legs to kick away any ne'er-do-well woodchucks?

 

[Jdvn1]

What you need is a woodchuck with an adamantine beak.

Heck, make it an awakened dire woodchuck of legend while you're at it. And if it's killed, it comes back, only radioactive.

Legendary radioactive adamantine awakened dire ninja pirate zombie woodchucks? Of doom?

 

[Darkness]

Yes. And pseudonatural too, for that matter.

 

[Goblyns Hoard]

So which would happen first, woodchucks chucking wood or the trees sprouting legs to kick away any ne'er-do-well woodchucks?

Without the evolutionary pressure of the wood chucks chucking wood there would be no force acting on the trees to stimulate the evolution of anti-wood chuck defence, so the wood chuck development would have to come first. When anti-wood chuck defences did spring up they would start with more primitive appendages that are more simple spikes, gradually evolving toward freemoving 'legs' that can not only sense the presence of a wood chuck (and distinguish from the harmless grass chuck which has in the meantime evolved into a slightly smaller mimic of the wood chuck and is responsible for grass stains on ankles around the world) but also will warn nearby trees of the presence of the ne'er-do-well with an ultra-low frequency noise that simultaneously makes the wood chuck (and unfortunately any innocent grass chucks in the area) nauseous.

 

[RolandOfGilead]

UPDATE:

I have extrapolated my formula to include the possibility of a multi-dimensional model ala String theory, and have found that we are most probably evolved woodchucks, if not in this dimension, in one of them. Therefore the amount of wood chucking WE are capable of directly relates to the chucking of wood accomplished by your standard woodchuck.

The model also confirms that there is no such thing as fiction, since all things that are possible are in fact Eventual in the multiverse, and therefore each of us has probably had the chance to have an extended long term relationship with Angelina Jolie.

For more woodchuckles, keep your eyes peeled here. The less sleep I get the farther my mind falls off the edge. I mean at least I hope..
ok, do any of you really find this humorous?

 

[Naathez]

ANYTHING this absurd is by definition humorous.

Now if you could expand on a new thread about a fling with Angelina Jolie...

 

[The Shaman]

Um....

Ah, the dreaded flapjackalope...

 

[Warrior Poet]

Thanks, guys, for this thread. Best laugh I've had all day.

Legendary radioactive adamantine awakened dire ninja pirate zombie woodchucks? Of doom?

Peals of laughter. Peals, I say! Can barely type for the tears. That, coupled with the flapjackalope (god, that's hilarious, too. When will the silliness end?!) image, leaves me nearly paralyzed for laughing.

Warrior Poet