Ao the Overkitty
First Post
Synopsis of 3/12/06
On the road even!
Subtitle: So we should ALL be tattooed!
Subtitle 2: Hmm... You know we are impatient.
Subtitle 3: Boat are like Mortals.
by AlwaysToast
A-Dom tries to explain to Gareth that the Unconquered Sun sent Gareth a present in the form of the Abyssal that they killed. But in a rambling Jahar like way.
Tiger: A-Dom are you making things worse?
A-Dom: No. I’m making them better. (To Gareth) If you’re making any plans... let me know so I can get my affairs in order.
Gareth: I should start a month of apology. I think from now on, I’ll blame the Primodials until I get better evidence.
A-Dom: Yay Unconquered Sun.
Jade’s Luck, Bianca, and Tiger head off to the barbarian town. A-Dom and Gareth (due to the Don’t leave A-Dom alone with the Mortals rule) stay with the locals from inside the whale. Gareth starts his prayers of apology.
Before they get to town, Jade’s Luck makes herself really beautiful with her artifact scarf. So her appearance is a 5.
Jade’s Luck (to Bianca): You’re going to have to figure out how to talk to these people... soon. If they don’t speak any language we know. What we want is fairly strait forward. I think we should march in there and be straight forward about it.
Bianca: I think that makes sense.
Liz: We wander up to town!
Dan: On the road even!
The group eventually finds out the chief of the village is out in a field working. So they go out into the field to talk to the Chief. Bianca decides to learn the local barbarian language: Red Oak (it’s the Red Oak tribe).
Jade’s Luck: We’re representatives of the Unconquered Sun. (Jade’s Luck points up)
Bianca [Red Oak]: We’re representatives of the Unconquered Sun. The bright thing in the sky.
Tiger: The source of life!
Chief [Red Oak]: What does the Sun want?
Bianca [RO]: He has some... very special people. To bring in and help you guys out.
Chief [RO] (All happy): Slaves?
Bianca [RO]: No, no, not slaves. Their hard workers. Good folk. Fishers.
Chief [RO]: But we’re farmers.
Bianca [RO]: But think of all the fish you could have. And fertilizer!
Chief [RO]: So how many people does the sun want to give us?
Bianca [RO]: 200
The chief wanders off to talk to a number of the other men of the village. Bianca is able to overhear things like ‘Crazy woman is offering me 200 slaves.’ Bianca tells the others what they are talking about.
Jade’s Luck: We are defiantly going to have to flashy thing that non-slaves part. Did you mention to them that on behalf of the Unconquered Sun we will intercede with any arrant spirits in the area. Or the Wyld or monsters, or that we are empowered to help out with stuff like that. Try to mention that. Try to glow too. That helps.
Bianca [RO]: We can also help you with any spirits or monster problems in exchange for letting these people enter your community. As equals... in your community.
Chief [RO]: No can be equals. Can only be one Chief!
Bianca [RO]: No, they will be equal with your people. They will be tribe members. (Bianca was trying to say Citizens but the language didn’t have such a word.)
Chief [RO]: We go discuss with old wise woman. You stay here. We come back.
Bianca (to group): They are going to discuss with their old wise woman.
Jade’s Luck: If they don’t come to a satisfactory resolution, we may have to deal with the old wise woman.
Dan and Ryan get into a discussion about having A-Dom sleep with the old wise woman, which ends with Dan saying: ‘If you drink enough, it smoothes out the wrinkles.’ Which broke Ryan, and disturbed everyone else.
Jade’s Luck: We’re going to pray while we are waiting, since apparently we are in the


.
Tiger decides to wait for an hour. Then sneaks into the village. He goes looking for a good hut that the Old Wise Woman might live in. While looking around he eventually figures out that there is a flimsy dilapidated and really crappy looking hut, surrounded by the Chief’s friends. Tiger goes over to the flimsy old wise woman’s hut, and sits in the shade, right next to the hut, so he can listen in on the conversation (in a language he doesn’t speak). Eventually, one of the chief’s friends spots Tiger, starts talking at him angrily. Tiger tries to explain through pantomime that he’s just sitting in the shade. The Chief’s friend goes around into the hut and there is some angry talking. Tiger leaves.
A little while later, Jade’s Luck and Bianca see the Chief and his men walking towards them looking unhappy.
Chief [RO]: We went to talk to old wise woman. She told us to give you test to see if you are wise and patient. (Looks over at Tiger) We will not deal with you.
Bianca (To Tiger): No killing.
Jade’s Luck: Live mortals good. Dead mortals Baaaaaad. Even if they are currently annoying us right now. Hmm... You know we are impatient. Maybe we should go apologize.
Bianca: Good idea.
Jade’s Luck: Then she won’t accept our apology. We may have to sit outsider her hut for several days. They probably have ideas about the higher your status the more humble you are suppose to be or something like that. So living in a crappy hut must be the epitome of virtue. That’s my theory anyway.
Gareth is spending his time making weapons for the Locals from the whale. A-Dom is sitting around singing with them.
Tiger shows the others where the hut is.
Jade’s Luck: Tell her we want to apologize to her.
Bianca [RO] (trying to be sad and pathetic): Hello. We’d like to apologize for our inpatients!
Alex: Impatiently!
This time, the group is willing to wait for as long as it takes. Even Tiger. Two days later, the old Wise Woman comes out of the hut.
Ryan: She’s not really wise. Just really slow.
Old Woman [RO]: All right. I’ll hear your apology now.
Bianca [RO]: We would just like to apologize for our lack of patients and good manners. Please take our people.
Jade’s Luck: We are just anxious for the people our god has entrusted to us.
Tiger: Don’t say Anxious!
Jade’s Luck: Because why?
Tiger: Because we just sat outside for two days to proved how patient we are. Don’t screw it up now.
Jade’s Luck: Anxious means worried. Just apologize for our bad behavior.
Bianca [RO]: We are just trying to find a tribe to take our people into their fold. We are worried for their well fair.
Old Woman [RO]: Very well. I will discuss this again with the chief.
Bianca [RO]: We’ll wait.
The Old Wise Woman wanders off very slowly. Jade’s Luck rushes behind a bush. When finished she goes back to praying. The Chief comes back two hours later.
Chief [RO]: We take your 200 people but you have to do two things. We have some people who passed away. Who must be taken to Sijan.
Dan: Yeehaw! (Dan starts jumping up and down in his seat)
Chief [RO]: You must make sure they get their safely and properly. Two: you must come back in three years. If we are not happy with them, you take them away.
Bianca translates the message for the others.
Jade’s Luck: Get a full explanation of everything that needs to be done for the dead. We also need about a week to explain things to our people. Get them caught up on the last thousand years.
Bianca and the chief arrange for written instructions of what must be done for the dead. She also gets the list of local laws. They then tell them they will be back in a week.
So the deal: In exchange for taking in 200 people as tribesmen, the group will properly transport the dead bodies they have to Sijan, and will return in three years and take away any people the tribe is not happy with.
Bianca, Jade’s Luck, and the Chief all shake on it as Bianca does the flashy thing. They then go back to the people from the whale. They find them much more heavily armed, and playing the A-Dom Olympics. There has been one fatality. Someone tried to emulate A-Dom, and broke his neck. The crowd was convinced the dead guy was an idiot.
Jade’s Luck: We need to Tattoo: Don’t Try This Yourself, across A-Dom’s chest, in every language that we know.
A-Dom: Oh yea... you try that...
Jade’s Luck: Well you are a pretty amazing specimen next to a mere mortal. So it wouldn’t be a bad idea to warn people...
A-Dom: So we should ALL be tattooed!
Jade’s Luck: Probably.
A-Dom: Why don’t we just get matching shirts and let it all go. (Pause) I was just you know... trying to have a games so maybe one of them would Exalt. Then, we could all wander off.
Jade’s Luck then explains what they have been doing and what the deal is.
A-Dom: Do we have to kill a giant fish for them or anything?
Jade’s Luck: We have to take some dead people to Sijan for them.
A-Dom (supper happy voice): Really!?!
Jade’s Luck: I think we might have to get on one of those ‘B’ word things and go up river.
Gareth: Excellent! So we’re walking...
A-Dom: Did they have any brewers?
Jade’s Luck (annoyed but falsely chipper): I didn’t stop to ask.
A-Dom (to Gareth): We’ll be forced to build a crappy boat in front of you. I don’t remember which end is the front.
Tiger: A-Dom will have to hold Gareth, while we build the boat.
A-Dom (to Bianca): How much stone do you want for this boat?
Bianca: Well the more we have the better it should float!
Bianca starts teaching the people from the Whale, the local Red Oak language. At some point Jade’s Luck gives them the ‘abbreviated history’ of the last thousand years. Which has a great deal of omission. Short Version: We were overthrown, Then we all took a nap, and now we are awake and taking things back over.
A-Dom (talking to Gareth): You’re boats are not cursed. Boats are like mortals...
Jade’s Luck: NO they are NOT! Mortals are alive!
Tiger: Let him finish his analogy.
A-Dom (rambling): Boat are like Mortals. There is going to be some collateral damage. If you just make wagons from now on, some day we will be fighting flying fish and when they die they will just fall on your wagons and break them too. You need to learn to be less materialistic! Give me your artifacts! Point being, any mode of travel we take other then walking, can be destroyed. So unless you make a boat that can fight things... or we could steal one from the Realm.
Jade’s Luck: Or we could make one from Jade or Orichalcum.
A-Dom: Cause that’s not hard to hide. (Yelling) Hello Atlantis! We’re perfectly Normal! Ignore our ship! Why yes the path we just took through the ocean is now made of jade. Yes you can walk back to the East now. Thank the Unconquered Su... I mean Dragons.
They send Gareth ahead to make huts at the village. As he is ‘being a great big disappointment’ about the construction of a new boat. Then they move the people from the whale into the village.
While the group is discussing what to do with the ex-pirates, the Chief comes up to Bianca and informs her that she is short. Meaning, Bianca promised exactly 200 new tribesmen (and sanctified it with the Eclipse oath), but they don’t have 200 survivors from the whale at this point. They are down to 190 people. (191 -1 (from the A-Dom Olympics accident) = 190.)
Jade’s Luck gets some of the pirates to ‘volunteer’ to stay behind with the promise that they will be taken back to the west in three years if they don’t like it there. So they get four pirates to stay behind, but 3 of the Pirates want to go with them. Fatty and two others will be going with them.
Still being a little short they tell the chief that they have the right number. As some of the women are pregnant. So they count as two.
Rules for Transporting the Dead of the Red Oak Tribe:
Bodies may not be desecrated in any way. No parts lost, burned, etc.
Bodies must be transported on land only. (Bridges are OK for crossing
rivers, boats are not, however, they are on the right side of the river anyway.)
Bodies may not be touched by the Black Oak Clan.
Bodies must be taken to Sijan whole and must arrive within two months of their death.
Bodies must be buried under a Red Oak in Sijan (money for plots provided).
Jade’s Luck: When did they die?
Cheif’s answer: 3 weeks ago.
Liz: How far away is Sijan?
GM: About a month and a half away.
Jade’s Luck (to Gareth): You want to make nice sturdy boxes? So when we get waylaid by the Black Oak Clan it will be much harder for them to try to reach the bodies?
A-Dom: Boxes within boxes!
Gareth decides to build a Hearse. A wagon, with 4 wheels (and spring suspension), a comfy place on top to sleep, and compartments (6 spots) on the inside, for coffins to go inside. Pained black. Since the realize there will be problems with the pirates keeping up.
A-Dom: Are their red oaks in Sijan?
Gareth: Didn’t you read the brochure?
A-Dom: Only the part with the Wretched Tomb on it. And since we are going to be in the neighborhood...
Jade’s Luck: There is drool on that part.
A-Dom: But it probably has my artifacts in it.
Jade’s Luck: Well if there are any notes, maybe we should let everyone read them before any of the artifacts are picked up.
A-Dom: Can we flashy thing that? Can we PLEASE flashy thing that?
Jade’s Luck: I couldn’t go down the last hole. So we don’t want to flashy thing things that would be bad for us. What if someone is knocked out and can’t read it.
A-Dom: Then we WAIT!
Ryan: I want my Mecha!
Jade’s Luck: Tiger if there is a note, please don’t pick it up and put it in your pocket.
Tiger: Well maybe if someone (looking at A-Dom) was a little more trusting.
A-Dom: Captain Dripping Poison... Shut up!
The three people they are transporting are:
Kael: A housewife.
Wintermoon: Master Brewer.
Joesun: Killer of the Chieftain of the Black Oak Clan.
A-Dom (after hearing Wintermoon the brewer): Really?
Jade’s Luck: No! No! Absolutely not!
A-Dom: What do the rules say about what we do after we drop them off?
Jade’s Luck: You are NOT talking about this in front of two people who just flashy thinged that agreement?
A-Dom: We’ll go over here to talk about that.
Gareth (to A-Dom): Do you want a Harness?
A-Dom: This is going to end badly.
Gareth: To pull the cart?
A-Dom: No to carry the pirates.
Dan: Like Fesik!
Gareth: Well there are 6 slots and only 3 bodies. So I guess they can go in their.
Jade’s Luck: No! That might be sleeping space for us, who won’t get freaked out. But they are not traveling for a month inside a coffin space.
Gareth makes a wagon for the pirates. A three wheeled trailer to go behind the Hearse.
The Pulling teams are:
A-Dom
Gareth and Bianca
Tiger and Jade’s Luck
So whoever just pulled last gets to sleep. As they are planning on basically going non-stop except for essential stops.
A-Dom: Fatty! Be more wind resistant!
Fatty: Don’t you mean less?
A-Dom: Fatty don’t help!
Tiger: A-Dom we should just go acquire some horses.
A-Dom (laughing maniacally): No that would be bad. The horses will tire out or something. Let’s not complicate things any more. This is a Solar powered wagon.
During Gareth and Bianca’s turn at pulling, Tiger spots an ambush up ahead.
Tiger: Ambush ahead.
Jade’s Luck: Should I wake A-Dom?
Tiger: Looks to be about 60 of them. I guess we should wake him up. Ether that or I’ll just take ‘em.
They are traveling along the bottom of a valley with hills on both sides, covered with trees. So there are people in the trees with bows and in the underbrush with spears and swords waiting for them. While Tiger is explaining this, Gareth refuses to stop.
Jade’s Luck: Gareth Stop!
Tiger (dead pan): Or at least slow down.
Gareth: Are they on both sides?
Jade’s Luck: And in front.
A-Dom decides to order the ex-pirates into the hearse. When they fail to show enough enthusiasm, A-Dom activates his Dawn caste power. The other crew members push Fatty into the small compartment. Bianca stops pulling and climbs on top of the Hearse. A-Dom then goes running up ahead of the Hearse, strait into the ambush area.
A-Dom (With his voice projecting for miles, looking really huge, in Sea tongue, as A-Dom doesn’t speak any local languages): We do not appreciate ambushes, you Black-Oak-Sons-Of-Bitches.
Sadly, everyone hears him, but few fear him. The only one who runs in fear is a nine year old boy.
Ryan: I need more Charisma.
Gareth summons his sword and armor and cuts to the right, as Tiger goes left, and A-Dom takes the center. Jade’s Luck, realizing that nobody is pushing (or driving) the cart, jumps down and takes over the cart duty. Once Gareth is far enough away from the cart, he activates his sword, creating the sphere of destruction around him, as he feels removing the underbrush and trees from the area will prevent people from hiding in them. At this point Gareth’s anima Bear is wandering around above him.
A-Dom just kind of wanders forward casually. As Jade’s Luck is not exactly running him over. Gareth, Tiger, and A-Dom basically mowing through the ambush and the forest, with roughly equal levels of destruction. As 20 mooks each really wasn’t slowing them down.
Gareth was the closest to the Dragon-Blooded leader. However, being Gareth, he didn’t notice the Dragon-Blood up in a tree with a powerbow shooting down at Gareth. Also as Gareth is constantly getting pelted by wood and... body parts, that are being shredded around him, he’s failing to notice the arrows that are bouncing off his armor. However, Tiger and A-Dom both spot the Dragon-blood from all the way across the battle, and both decide that it’s most important to kill him.
A-Dom (Still being heard for miles, in Sea tongue): Dragon-Blood! (Then he points at him, to help Gareth spot him. Except Gareth is facing the wrong way.)
Tiger (from the far side of the battle ground): I’ve got him!
Gareth (having botched his check), is charging the wrong man, a man on the ground.
Gareth: Blood, Death and Pain!
Gareth runs up to him... then is confused when he is shredded to bits long before he is able to attack.
Gareth (Yelling, kind of annoyed): That was a wimpy Dragon-Blood.
A-Dom: Not Him!
Tiger (Yelling, as he is flying through the air): I said I got it!
A-Dom: Him! (Still pointing, which is still a crappy way to get one-eyed Gareth to know who you are talking about.)
Tiger Monkey-leap’s at the Dragon-Blood in the tree. A-Dom, Monkey-leaps at the tree that the Dragon-blood is standing on. Tiger gets a number of attacks in before A-Dom even gets there. A-Dom hits the center of the tree, feet first, splitting it in half, sending the top (with Tiger and the Dragon-Blood in it) careening towards the road, apparently perfectly aimed to land on top of the hearse.
Ryan: Excellent... wait, what?
Jade’s Luck tries very hard to get the Hearse out of the way.
Tiger (Yelling): A-Dom, CATCH!
A-Dom looks down and sees the shadow of the top of the tree is right over the hearse. While balancing on the remains of the bottom of the tree grabs turns to grab a hold of the top half of the tree, and tries to muscle the top of the tree back over his shoulder. Tiger decides it would be a good idea to no longer be in this tree.
Ryan (yelling at Dan who told him how many successes he got, which was 9): Stop helping! You’re not helping!
A-Dom with impressive effort has managed to launch the top of the tree far away from him with a mighty heave. Then A-Dom noticed that the tree was hurtling towards a small village community not too far off.
Ryan: oh Jesus. Rinse and repeat!
A-Dom monkey leaps after it, grapples the top of the tree and spikes it into the ground.
Liz: Touchdown!
Alex: Gardening with A-Dom!
Liz: Are the survivors running away yet?
GM: What survivors?
A-Dom manages to spike well over half of it’s height into the ground. Burying the Dragon-Blood deep in the ground. A-Dom then lands next to the tree, just outside the village to stop and catch his breath. He sees a little child. It's important to realize they don't have any language in common.
Child [Black Oak]: Who are you great demon?
A-Dom [Sea-tongue]: Yea, good... (mumbles incoherently ) go play with the tree.
A-Dom hears the kid repeat himself a few times, and eventually figures out the child might be asking his name.
A-Dom (Still projecting his voice for miles. Very slowly, and with a wink and double point (think the Fonz, or Buddy Christ)): Aaaaaaa-Dom
Child [Black Oak]: Aaaaaaa-Dom, slayer of all men! Eater of trees and souls!(Runs back to the village)
A-Dom: Hey, that’s me! Excellent. Need more linguistics. Wonder what he was saying.
Ryan: I take note of where we are so I can come back!
Tiger: Where’s the body?
A-Dom (still projecting his voice for miles): I think I planted it. He may have dropped his stuff... over this mile of forest.
Gareth (Yelling from far off, and having taken back over pushing the cart): You’re lagging behind!
Tiger: Well, I hope that counts as a proper burial. Jade’s Luck, want to say something over the tree?
Gareth: That’s what the village is for!
So, first A-Dom pulls up the tree he planted. But they don’t find anything that wasn’t squished when A-Dom drove it into the ground, including the corpse of the Dragon-Blood. Jade’s Luck scorches the thin red smear, just to be sure. A-Dom then ‘respectfully puts the tree back.’
A-Dom then digs a mass grave next to the road. He and Tiger bury the bodies of all the men of the Black Oak Village in the one hole. Then A-Dom uproots a Black Oak tree and plants it on top of the mass grave. A-Dom and Jade’s Luck’s then say
‘respectful things over the grave.’
A-Dom (at the end of his words): May your corpses feed this beautiful tree.
Tiger: But not in any evil way.
A-Dom, Jade’s Luck and Tiger then go running to catch up with Hearse.
On the road even!
Subtitle: So we should ALL be tattooed!
Subtitle 2: Hmm... You know we are impatient.
Subtitle 3: Boat are like Mortals.
by AlwaysToast
A-Dom tries to explain to Gareth that the Unconquered Sun sent Gareth a present in the form of the Abyssal that they killed. But in a rambling Jahar like way.
Tiger: A-Dom are you making things worse?
A-Dom: No. I’m making them better. (To Gareth) If you’re making any plans... let me know so I can get my affairs in order.
Gareth: I should start a month of apology. I think from now on, I’ll blame the Primodials until I get better evidence.
A-Dom: Yay Unconquered Sun.
Jade’s Luck, Bianca, and Tiger head off to the barbarian town. A-Dom and Gareth (due to the Don’t leave A-Dom alone with the Mortals rule) stay with the locals from inside the whale. Gareth starts his prayers of apology.
Before they get to town, Jade’s Luck makes herself really beautiful with her artifact scarf. So her appearance is a 5.
Jade’s Luck (to Bianca): You’re going to have to figure out how to talk to these people... soon. If they don’t speak any language we know. What we want is fairly strait forward. I think we should march in there and be straight forward about it.
Bianca: I think that makes sense.
Liz: We wander up to town!
Dan: On the road even!
The group eventually finds out the chief of the village is out in a field working. So they go out into the field to talk to the Chief. Bianca decides to learn the local barbarian language: Red Oak (it’s the Red Oak tribe).
Jade’s Luck: We’re representatives of the Unconquered Sun. (Jade’s Luck points up)
Bianca [Red Oak]: We’re representatives of the Unconquered Sun. The bright thing in the sky.
Tiger: The source of life!
Chief [Red Oak]: What does the Sun want?
Bianca [RO]: He has some... very special people. To bring in and help you guys out.
Chief [RO] (All happy): Slaves?
Bianca [RO]: No, no, not slaves. Their hard workers. Good folk. Fishers.
Chief [RO]: But we’re farmers.
Bianca [RO]: But think of all the fish you could have. And fertilizer!
Chief [RO]: So how many people does the sun want to give us?
Bianca [RO]: 200
The chief wanders off to talk to a number of the other men of the village. Bianca is able to overhear things like ‘Crazy woman is offering me 200 slaves.’ Bianca tells the others what they are talking about.
Jade’s Luck: We are defiantly going to have to flashy thing that non-slaves part. Did you mention to them that on behalf of the Unconquered Sun we will intercede with any arrant spirits in the area. Or the Wyld or monsters, or that we are empowered to help out with stuff like that. Try to mention that. Try to glow too. That helps.
Bianca [RO]: We can also help you with any spirits or monster problems in exchange for letting these people enter your community. As equals... in your community.
Chief [RO]: No can be equals. Can only be one Chief!
Bianca [RO]: No, they will be equal with your people. They will be tribe members. (Bianca was trying to say Citizens but the language didn’t have such a word.)
Chief [RO]: We go discuss with old wise woman. You stay here. We come back.
Bianca (to group): They are going to discuss with their old wise woman.
Jade’s Luck: If they don’t come to a satisfactory resolution, we may have to deal with the old wise woman.
Dan and Ryan get into a discussion about having A-Dom sleep with the old wise woman, which ends with Dan saying: ‘If you drink enough, it smoothes out the wrinkles.’ Which broke Ryan, and disturbed everyone else.
Jade’s Luck: We’re going to pray while we are waiting, since apparently we are in the




Tiger decides to wait for an hour. Then sneaks into the village. He goes looking for a good hut that the Old Wise Woman might live in. While looking around he eventually figures out that there is a flimsy dilapidated and really crappy looking hut, surrounded by the Chief’s friends. Tiger goes over to the flimsy old wise woman’s hut, and sits in the shade, right next to the hut, so he can listen in on the conversation (in a language he doesn’t speak). Eventually, one of the chief’s friends spots Tiger, starts talking at him angrily. Tiger tries to explain through pantomime that he’s just sitting in the shade. The Chief’s friend goes around into the hut and there is some angry talking. Tiger leaves.
A little while later, Jade’s Luck and Bianca see the Chief and his men walking towards them looking unhappy.
Chief [RO]: We went to talk to old wise woman. She told us to give you test to see if you are wise and patient. (Looks over at Tiger) We will not deal with you.
Bianca (To Tiger): No killing.
Jade’s Luck: Live mortals good. Dead mortals Baaaaaad. Even if they are currently annoying us right now. Hmm... You know we are impatient. Maybe we should go apologize.
Bianca: Good idea.
Jade’s Luck: Then she won’t accept our apology. We may have to sit outsider her hut for several days. They probably have ideas about the higher your status the more humble you are suppose to be or something like that. So living in a crappy hut must be the epitome of virtue. That’s my theory anyway.
Gareth is spending his time making weapons for the Locals from the whale. A-Dom is sitting around singing with them.
Tiger shows the others where the hut is.
Jade’s Luck: Tell her we want to apologize to her.
Bianca [RO] (trying to be sad and pathetic): Hello. We’d like to apologize for our inpatients!
Alex: Impatiently!
This time, the group is willing to wait for as long as it takes. Even Tiger. Two days later, the old Wise Woman comes out of the hut.
Ryan: She’s not really wise. Just really slow.
Old Woman [RO]: All right. I’ll hear your apology now.
Bianca [RO]: We would just like to apologize for our lack of patients and good manners. Please take our people.
Jade’s Luck: We are just anxious for the people our god has entrusted to us.
Tiger: Don’t say Anxious!
Jade’s Luck: Because why?
Tiger: Because we just sat outside for two days to proved how patient we are. Don’t screw it up now.
Jade’s Luck: Anxious means worried. Just apologize for our bad behavior.
Bianca [RO]: We are just trying to find a tribe to take our people into their fold. We are worried for their well fair.
Old Woman [RO]: Very well. I will discuss this again with the chief.
Bianca [RO]: We’ll wait.
The Old Wise Woman wanders off very slowly. Jade’s Luck rushes behind a bush. When finished she goes back to praying. The Chief comes back two hours later.
Chief [RO]: We take your 200 people but you have to do two things. We have some people who passed away. Who must be taken to Sijan.
Dan: Yeehaw! (Dan starts jumping up and down in his seat)
Chief [RO]: You must make sure they get their safely and properly. Two: you must come back in three years. If we are not happy with them, you take them away.
Bianca translates the message for the others.
Jade’s Luck: Get a full explanation of everything that needs to be done for the dead. We also need about a week to explain things to our people. Get them caught up on the last thousand years.
Bianca and the chief arrange for written instructions of what must be done for the dead. She also gets the list of local laws. They then tell them they will be back in a week.
So the deal: In exchange for taking in 200 people as tribesmen, the group will properly transport the dead bodies they have to Sijan, and will return in three years and take away any people the tribe is not happy with.
Bianca, Jade’s Luck, and the Chief all shake on it as Bianca does the flashy thing. They then go back to the people from the whale. They find them much more heavily armed, and playing the A-Dom Olympics. There has been one fatality. Someone tried to emulate A-Dom, and broke his neck. The crowd was convinced the dead guy was an idiot.
Jade’s Luck: We need to Tattoo: Don’t Try This Yourself, across A-Dom’s chest, in every language that we know.
A-Dom: Oh yea... you try that...
Jade’s Luck: Well you are a pretty amazing specimen next to a mere mortal. So it wouldn’t be a bad idea to warn people...
A-Dom: So we should ALL be tattooed!
Jade’s Luck: Probably.
A-Dom: Why don’t we just get matching shirts and let it all go. (Pause) I was just you know... trying to have a games so maybe one of them would Exalt. Then, we could all wander off.
Jade’s Luck then explains what they have been doing and what the deal is.
A-Dom: Do we have to kill a giant fish for them or anything?
Jade’s Luck: We have to take some dead people to Sijan for them.
A-Dom (supper happy voice): Really!?!
Jade’s Luck: I think we might have to get on one of those ‘B’ word things and go up river.
Gareth: Excellent! So we’re walking...
A-Dom: Did they have any brewers?
Jade’s Luck (annoyed but falsely chipper): I didn’t stop to ask.
A-Dom (to Gareth): We’ll be forced to build a crappy boat in front of you. I don’t remember which end is the front.
Tiger: A-Dom will have to hold Gareth, while we build the boat.
A-Dom (to Bianca): How much stone do you want for this boat?
Bianca: Well the more we have the better it should float!
Bianca starts teaching the people from the Whale, the local Red Oak language. At some point Jade’s Luck gives them the ‘abbreviated history’ of the last thousand years. Which has a great deal of omission. Short Version: We were overthrown, Then we all took a nap, and now we are awake and taking things back over.
A-Dom (talking to Gareth): You’re boats are not cursed. Boats are like mortals...
Jade’s Luck: NO they are NOT! Mortals are alive!
Tiger: Let him finish his analogy.
A-Dom (rambling): Boat are like Mortals. There is going to be some collateral damage. If you just make wagons from now on, some day we will be fighting flying fish and when they die they will just fall on your wagons and break them too. You need to learn to be less materialistic! Give me your artifacts! Point being, any mode of travel we take other then walking, can be destroyed. So unless you make a boat that can fight things... or we could steal one from the Realm.
Jade’s Luck: Or we could make one from Jade or Orichalcum.
A-Dom: Cause that’s not hard to hide. (Yelling) Hello Atlantis! We’re perfectly Normal! Ignore our ship! Why yes the path we just took through the ocean is now made of jade. Yes you can walk back to the East now. Thank the Unconquered Su... I mean Dragons.
They send Gareth ahead to make huts at the village. As he is ‘being a great big disappointment’ about the construction of a new boat. Then they move the people from the whale into the village.
While the group is discussing what to do with the ex-pirates, the Chief comes up to Bianca and informs her that she is short. Meaning, Bianca promised exactly 200 new tribesmen (and sanctified it with the Eclipse oath), but they don’t have 200 survivors from the whale at this point. They are down to 190 people. (191 -1 (from the A-Dom Olympics accident) = 190.)
Jade’s Luck gets some of the pirates to ‘volunteer’ to stay behind with the promise that they will be taken back to the west in three years if they don’t like it there. So they get four pirates to stay behind, but 3 of the Pirates want to go with them. Fatty and two others will be going with them.
Still being a little short they tell the chief that they have the right number. As some of the women are pregnant. So they count as two.
Rules for Transporting the Dead of the Red Oak Tribe:
Bodies may not be desecrated in any way. No parts lost, burned, etc.
Bodies must be transported on land only. (Bridges are OK for crossing
rivers, boats are not, however, they are on the right side of the river anyway.)
Bodies may not be touched by the Black Oak Clan.
Bodies must be taken to Sijan whole and must arrive within two months of their death.
Bodies must be buried under a Red Oak in Sijan (money for plots provided).
Jade’s Luck: When did they die?
Cheif’s answer: 3 weeks ago.
Liz: How far away is Sijan?
GM: About a month and a half away.
Jade’s Luck (to Gareth): You want to make nice sturdy boxes? So when we get waylaid by the Black Oak Clan it will be much harder for them to try to reach the bodies?
A-Dom: Boxes within boxes!
Gareth decides to build a Hearse. A wagon, with 4 wheels (and spring suspension), a comfy place on top to sleep, and compartments (6 spots) on the inside, for coffins to go inside. Pained black. Since the realize there will be problems with the pirates keeping up.
A-Dom: Are their red oaks in Sijan?
Gareth: Didn’t you read the brochure?
A-Dom: Only the part with the Wretched Tomb on it. And since we are going to be in the neighborhood...
Jade’s Luck: There is drool on that part.
A-Dom: But it probably has my artifacts in it.
Jade’s Luck: Well if there are any notes, maybe we should let everyone read them before any of the artifacts are picked up.
A-Dom: Can we flashy thing that? Can we PLEASE flashy thing that?
Jade’s Luck: I couldn’t go down the last hole. So we don’t want to flashy thing things that would be bad for us. What if someone is knocked out and can’t read it.
A-Dom: Then we WAIT!
Ryan: I want my Mecha!
Jade’s Luck: Tiger if there is a note, please don’t pick it up and put it in your pocket.
Tiger: Well maybe if someone (looking at A-Dom) was a little more trusting.
A-Dom: Captain Dripping Poison... Shut up!
The three people they are transporting are:
Kael: A housewife.
Wintermoon: Master Brewer.
Joesun: Killer of the Chieftain of the Black Oak Clan.
A-Dom (after hearing Wintermoon the brewer): Really?
Jade’s Luck: No! No! Absolutely not!
A-Dom: What do the rules say about what we do after we drop them off?
Jade’s Luck: You are NOT talking about this in front of two people who just flashy thinged that agreement?
A-Dom: We’ll go over here to talk about that.
Gareth (to A-Dom): Do you want a Harness?
A-Dom: This is going to end badly.
Gareth: To pull the cart?
A-Dom: No to carry the pirates.
Dan: Like Fesik!
Gareth: Well there are 6 slots and only 3 bodies. So I guess they can go in their.
Jade’s Luck: No! That might be sleeping space for us, who won’t get freaked out. But they are not traveling for a month inside a coffin space.
Gareth makes a wagon for the pirates. A three wheeled trailer to go behind the Hearse.
The Pulling teams are:
A-Dom
Gareth and Bianca
Tiger and Jade’s Luck
So whoever just pulled last gets to sleep. As they are planning on basically going non-stop except for essential stops.
A-Dom: Fatty! Be more wind resistant!
Fatty: Don’t you mean less?
A-Dom: Fatty don’t help!
Tiger: A-Dom we should just go acquire some horses.
A-Dom (laughing maniacally): No that would be bad. The horses will tire out or something. Let’s not complicate things any more. This is a Solar powered wagon.
During Gareth and Bianca’s turn at pulling, Tiger spots an ambush up ahead.
Tiger: Ambush ahead.
Jade’s Luck: Should I wake A-Dom?
Tiger: Looks to be about 60 of them. I guess we should wake him up. Ether that or I’ll just take ‘em.
They are traveling along the bottom of a valley with hills on both sides, covered with trees. So there are people in the trees with bows and in the underbrush with spears and swords waiting for them. While Tiger is explaining this, Gareth refuses to stop.
Jade’s Luck: Gareth Stop!
Tiger (dead pan): Or at least slow down.
Gareth: Are they on both sides?
Jade’s Luck: And in front.
A-Dom decides to order the ex-pirates into the hearse. When they fail to show enough enthusiasm, A-Dom activates his Dawn caste power. The other crew members push Fatty into the small compartment. Bianca stops pulling and climbs on top of the Hearse. A-Dom then goes running up ahead of the Hearse, strait into the ambush area.
A-Dom (With his voice projecting for miles, looking really huge, in Sea tongue, as A-Dom doesn’t speak any local languages): We do not appreciate ambushes, you Black-Oak-Sons-Of-Bitches.
Sadly, everyone hears him, but few fear him. The only one who runs in fear is a nine year old boy.
Ryan: I need more Charisma.
Gareth summons his sword and armor and cuts to the right, as Tiger goes left, and A-Dom takes the center. Jade’s Luck, realizing that nobody is pushing (or driving) the cart, jumps down and takes over the cart duty. Once Gareth is far enough away from the cart, he activates his sword, creating the sphere of destruction around him, as he feels removing the underbrush and trees from the area will prevent people from hiding in them. At this point Gareth’s anima Bear is wandering around above him.
A-Dom just kind of wanders forward casually. As Jade’s Luck is not exactly running him over. Gareth, Tiger, and A-Dom basically mowing through the ambush and the forest, with roughly equal levels of destruction. As 20 mooks each really wasn’t slowing them down.
Gareth was the closest to the Dragon-Blooded leader. However, being Gareth, he didn’t notice the Dragon-Blood up in a tree with a powerbow shooting down at Gareth. Also as Gareth is constantly getting pelted by wood and... body parts, that are being shredded around him, he’s failing to notice the arrows that are bouncing off his armor. However, Tiger and A-Dom both spot the Dragon-blood from all the way across the battle, and both decide that it’s most important to kill him.
A-Dom (Still being heard for miles, in Sea tongue): Dragon-Blood! (Then he points at him, to help Gareth spot him. Except Gareth is facing the wrong way.)
Tiger (from the far side of the battle ground): I’ve got him!
Gareth (having botched his check), is charging the wrong man, a man on the ground.
Gareth: Blood, Death and Pain!
Gareth runs up to him... then is confused when he is shredded to bits long before he is able to attack.
Gareth (Yelling, kind of annoyed): That was a wimpy Dragon-Blood.
A-Dom: Not Him!
Tiger (Yelling, as he is flying through the air): I said I got it!
A-Dom: Him! (Still pointing, which is still a crappy way to get one-eyed Gareth to know who you are talking about.)
Tiger Monkey-leap’s at the Dragon-Blood in the tree. A-Dom, Monkey-leaps at the tree that the Dragon-blood is standing on. Tiger gets a number of attacks in before A-Dom even gets there. A-Dom hits the center of the tree, feet first, splitting it in half, sending the top (with Tiger and the Dragon-Blood in it) careening towards the road, apparently perfectly aimed to land on top of the hearse.
Ryan: Excellent... wait, what?
Jade’s Luck tries very hard to get the Hearse out of the way.
Tiger (Yelling): A-Dom, CATCH!
A-Dom looks down and sees the shadow of the top of the tree is right over the hearse. While balancing on the remains of the bottom of the tree grabs turns to grab a hold of the top half of the tree, and tries to muscle the top of the tree back over his shoulder. Tiger decides it would be a good idea to no longer be in this tree.
Ryan (yelling at Dan who told him how many successes he got, which was 9): Stop helping! You’re not helping!
A-Dom with impressive effort has managed to launch the top of the tree far away from him with a mighty heave. Then A-Dom noticed that the tree was hurtling towards a small village community not too far off.
Ryan: oh Jesus. Rinse and repeat!
A-Dom monkey leaps after it, grapples the top of the tree and spikes it into the ground.
Liz: Touchdown!
Alex: Gardening with A-Dom!
Liz: Are the survivors running away yet?
GM: What survivors?
A-Dom manages to spike well over half of it’s height into the ground. Burying the Dragon-Blood deep in the ground. A-Dom then lands next to the tree, just outside the village to stop and catch his breath. He sees a little child. It's important to realize they don't have any language in common.
Child [Black Oak]: Who are you great demon?
A-Dom [Sea-tongue]: Yea, good... (mumbles incoherently ) go play with the tree.
A-Dom hears the kid repeat himself a few times, and eventually figures out the child might be asking his name.
A-Dom (Still projecting his voice for miles. Very slowly, and with a wink and double point (think the Fonz, or Buddy Christ)): Aaaaaaa-Dom
Child [Black Oak]: Aaaaaaa-Dom, slayer of all men! Eater of trees and souls!(Runs back to the village)
A-Dom: Hey, that’s me! Excellent. Need more linguistics. Wonder what he was saying.
Ryan: I take note of where we are so I can come back!
Tiger: Where’s the body?
A-Dom (still projecting his voice for miles): I think I planted it. He may have dropped his stuff... over this mile of forest.
Gareth (Yelling from far off, and having taken back over pushing the cart): You’re lagging behind!
Tiger: Well, I hope that counts as a proper burial. Jade’s Luck, want to say something over the tree?
Gareth: That’s what the village is for!
So, first A-Dom pulls up the tree he planted. But they don’t find anything that wasn’t squished when A-Dom drove it into the ground, including the corpse of the Dragon-Blood. Jade’s Luck scorches the thin red smear, just to be sure. A-Dom then ‘respectfully puts the tree back.’
A-Dom then digs a mass grave next to the road. He and Tiger bury the bodies of all the men of the Black Oak Village in the one hole. Then A-Dom uproots a Black Oak tree and plants it on top of the mass grave. A-Dom and Jade’s Luck’s then say
‘respectful things over the grave.’
A-Dom (at the end of his words): May your corpses feed this beautiful tree.
Tiger: But not in any evil way.
A-Dom, Jade’s Luck and Tiger then go running to catch up with Hearse.