Famous Last Words

[mikebr99]

[... party has boarded a ship and is entering the cavern to be winched down into undermountain, after leaving the 3rd level with some very high level enemies still alive...]

"I think I'll go down into the hold and study that new spellbook I found..."

He didn't even get to see what made the boat fall...

 

[Macbrea]

I believe my favorite last line came from a Gurps modern day horror game.


Scene: Character jumps in his mustang and guns the accelorator to the floor with a werewolf on the roof trying to smash the window. In the passenger seat is another PC in motorcycle leathers.

DM: "As the large fist of the werewolf crashes through the window. The glass splatters back into the both of you."
DM: Please, make a drive roll at -4.

PC of Driver: :: Turns character sheet over twice :: Ahm, hey, do you happen to know what the default for drive is?

PC of passenger: I open the door and jump from the car. I will take my chances with the werewolves.

 

[Sir Hawkeye]

"I cast chain lightning[2E]... you mean it always arcs to multiple targets!?"

I wish I knew where I out my copy of "Canonical List of Famous Last Words: Fantasy and Sci-Fi RPG"

Classics like "I cast fireball into the [10x10] room."
and "Nice [CENSORED], princess"

 

[JohnClark]

My favorite was my gnome wizard and the rest of the party were surrounded by 3 huge red dragons. Just as the breathed fire onto us I shouted, "I REGRET NOTHING!!!" and was promptly incinerated.

 

[Zappo]

"What the heck, I push the big red button. It can't be the self-destruction - it's too obvious. And even if it was, it will surely need a confirmation code to be activated". My character's soul on its way to heaven must have commented something about sloppy design and lack of security I reckon.

"I turn my back and run"

"DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND DON'T MOVE, YOU SONOFA..."

"You'd have to be a GOD, to smile after that hit!" That was from the final lines in ZAngband... that game has a lot of them. Also, "What do you mean, how many hit points do I have?", and "I don't worry, I have a scroll of Resurrection".

And the classic:

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!"
Oh, and also:

"The chip has an Arasaka logo, contains info on a secret weapon, and has just ran a program which sent something somewhere over the Internet? Say, this computer doesn't have GPS, does it?"

And, "A lone kobold?"

And, "I'm jumping down, be sure to catch me!"

 

[VoodooGroves]

Robotech and Skip

My favorite last words always seem to come from a Robotech RPG I ran in college years and years ago. Both involve the same unlucky / whatever (you decide) player. If you don't know the game, it is set in the japanimation series of the same name, and basically you pilot big robotic vehicles around fighting bad guys for a significant portion of the time.

--------------------------------------
Party faces a group of bad guys, both sides take some serious damage and withdraw.
Skip (piloting the Shadow Alpha): Whew. Almost killed me.
Mike (piloting the Beta): Durnit Skip, what the hell were you doing? You almost killed me with that missile volley? We'd have had them if it wasn't for you!!!
Skip (piloting the Shadow Alpha): (expletive) you Mike.
Mike (piloting the Beta): Hey gamemaster, I want to get those guys on the radio. Everyone else, we're headed back.
Gamemaster: Ok Mike, channel open. What are you going to say?
Mike (piloting the Shadow Alpha): I use all my annoying presuasion abilities, insult their parentage ... (Mike continues for about 15 minutes, culminating in a challenge that taunts the enemies to come charging back. He finishes with a ultimatum for the largely-undamaged enemy leader).
Mike (piloting the Beta): And you, you sorry sack of (sailor-talk...beep...beep...beep), I'm going to rip your (beep, etc.). I'm coming for you punk. I'm the one in the Shadow Alpha.
Skip (piloting the Shadow Alpha): Huh?
---------------------------------------------
Then later (several characters later, Skip's died regularly)....
Skip, hiding from some bad guys.
Gamemaster: They are headed over to the APC (20 ton or so tracked APC).
Skip: Hey, that's my APC! I sneak over along the building to the side of the APC.
Gamemaster: Ok...these guys look like common street punks. You think they might be trying to steal it.
Skip: Well, I don't have my uber-armor on, and only this one gun that will kill all of them quickly and not hurt the APC, but really I want to be cooler than I really am. (I'm paraphrasing).
Gamemaster: Ok...
Skip: I'm going to hide under the APC and surprise them.
Gamemaster: Ok...I can not possibly fathom why you would do that since no one here is drinking, but if thats what you want to do.
Skip: I know! I'm going to lay down in front of the treads, maybe they'll see me and think the driver hit a pedestrian! That would be funny!
Gamemaster: Ok, Skip, let me break it down for you. These guys look like they are going to try to steal the APC, probably drive it away and sell it for parts. Laying down in front of the treads would not be a good idea, since if they drive it, they'll probably start with FORWARD and as you are so fond of pointing out, it weighs about 20 tons.
Skip: Nah, when they start it I'll yell.
Gamemaster: Skip, when they start it you could yell all you want past the engine towards the driver but those guys on the inside will not hear you. You know this, it is your APC and the engine is loud.
Skip: Well, they won't drive away.
Gamemaster: Yes Skip, they will.
Skip: I don't believe you.
Gamemaster: I feel a migraine coming. Ok skip, they manage to break in to the APC and start it up.
Skip: This is going to be cool.
Gamemaster: Yep, migraine. Skip, to make it sporting, here's what I'll do. You can go and lay down. I'll roll a die. If it is odd, they go in reverse and you can do something else, whatever it is you want to do. But if it is even, they drive forward and crush you like a little grape.
Skip: They probably don't know how to drive it.
Gamemaster: They do. I promise. Skip, I'm going to roll the die, are you going to move?
Skip: No.
Gamemaster: Please?
Skip: No, this will be cool when they back up.
Jerry (who's been watching in rapt horror at Skip's denial): Dude, 50% chance of instant death. ..this is the second character you've rolled up tonight.
Skip: Nope.
Jerry (to gamemaster): There's no chance I can somehow "be there" instantly and haul his ass out from under the APC is there?
Gamemaster: He'd probably shoot at you Jerry. Let's just get this over with.
Skip: I would, if you tried to pull me away from my vehicle. I'm protecting what's mine.
Gamemaster: On that note, oh look, I rolled an 8. Well Skip, you die.
Skip: Darn! I had a really good chance to live through that, and if I did it would have been really cool!