Favorite Half-Orc One Liner's

[swordsmasher]

We all have seen them, and love them for just being them.

What I am looking for is people to post thier favorite Half-Orc quotes and one liner's.

Here is mine:

"Don't make me eat you!" as told by Da-Vor the Half-Orc to Phoggus, the Drow assassin as part of an Intimidate check.

 

[diaglo]

"I wuv halflings. Their hands are so small they make everything look bigger."

"I'll be flossing my tooth with your beard, Dwarf, if you don't get out of my way."

 

[scourger]

One of my faves is from the 3.0 (I think) PHB after the rogue fails to open a chest Krusk offers to open it "the half-orc way." I still get a chuckle out of it.

 

[Crothian]

"Do you have any Grey Poupon?"

sometimes you have to go against type

 

[Herremann the Wise]

"My ma was a WHAT!!!..."
by Bede the half-orc in response to unsavory comments regarding his dearest mother.

Best Regards
Herremann the Wise

 

[Michael Silverbane]

This quote is from an actual orc, but you know... six of one half a dozen of another...

"No matter how reasonable it seems at the time, it is never ever a good idea to eat a client's baby."

Later
silver

 

[Sejs]

"I highly suggest you make all possible efforts to silence your indisposed compatriot over there, lest his hysterical caterwauling bring the guards down on all our heads."


*is met with a blank stare*


"...oh for the love of...Shut him up or I'll shut him up for you!!"

 

[MrFilthyIke]

"It's not that I don't like kobolds, I just can't finish a whole one"

 

[Umbran]

My favorite comes from an orc, specifically from Mary Gentle's novel, Grunts:

"Pass me another elf, seargent. Mine's split."

 

[Eli-kun]

"Hi, My name's Fluffy and I'm gender-confused."

"You seem pretty grumpy. Do you need a hug?"

Those quotes came from my character, Fluffy.

From Order of the Stick: "Thog would make good Puppy Daddy."