Favorite Monty Python Quotes

[Gomez]

Just to extoll the greatness of Python please post one of your favorite quotes from this wonderful comedy group!



I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah." But you try and tell the young people today that... and they won't believe ya'.

 

[Hand of Evil]

Help! Help! I'm being oppressed! Violence inherent in the system!
Violence inherent in the system!

or

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!

 

[ddvmor]

'Ello, Miss?
What do you mean "miss"?
I'm sorry, I have a cold.

 

[Vamprey]

TIM: Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

 

[The_Universe]

"no Pufters!"

 

[Psionicist]

The duck/wood part in the witch scene.

http://www.rit.edu/~smo4215/monty.htm#Scene 5

 

[John Q. Mayhem]

"I think we've got an eater!"

The "Three Yorkshiremen" one cracks me up every time

As does the drunken philosophers song from Bruces.

 

[Wombat]

From the Upper Class Twit of the Year Contest:

"Father was a stapling machine and mother won the Derby."

 

[Particle_Man]

"If if if if if we if if if if I if if....oh"

(Monty Python and the HOly Grail -- the 2 guards that fundamentally could not understand the idea of guarding the prince and making sure he doesn't leave and that no one enter's except the prince's father).

 

[billd91]

"You haven't got a womb! Where the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?"

Cracks me up every time.