Favorite Monty Python Quotes

[carrot]

Welease Woderwick!

 

[amethal]

The "Three Yorkshiremen" one cracks me up every time

As does the drunken philosophers song from Bruces.

Every time?

A guy in my university roleplaying club would rattle off the same quotes from Monty Python every week for 3 years (excluding holidays - well, he probably did during the holidays too, but I wasn't with him to hear them).

This select group of quotes has made my shudder ever since.

Fortunately, no one so far has chosen any of this guy's favourites, but I'd better leave the thread just in case.

I like "An African swallow or a European swallow?", "You lucky, lucky bastard" and "No, he's the Popular Front".

 

[Gomez]

We use only the finest baby frogs, dew picked and flown from Iraq, cleansed in finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose.

 

[sniffles]

"It's a piston engine."
"Why did you buy that?"
"It was a bargain!"

"Take some luvly flowers and put them nicely in a vase. Get in! Get in!"

"My brain hurts."
"It must come out!"

"When suddenly, the animator had a heart attack!"

"Oh, just a little peril, please?"

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

"Why do you think I have this outrageous accent, you silly English k-nigits!"

"What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?"
"African or European?"
"Why, I don't know that! Aaaaaahhhhh!!"

"She turned me into a newt!"
Long silence.
"I got better."



And many, many more.

 

[Mean Eyed Cat]

Whenever we go to a restaurant and eat too much, my wife and I like to reenact the scene with Mr. Creosote in The Meaning of Life-

MR. CREOSOTE:
Look. I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off.
MAÎTRE D:
Oh, sir, just-- just one.
MR. CREOSOTE:
[groaning] All right. Just one.
MAÎTRE D:
Just the one, monsieur. Voilà.
MR. CREOSOTE:
[groaning]
MAÎTRE D:
Bon appé.

BOOOOOM!!!!!

 

[Tolen Mar]

TIM: Follow! But! follow only if ye be men of valor, for the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty big pointy teeth.

"What an eccentric performance!"

 

[Rhialto]

Various Announcers: I haven't seen an upset like this since Ann-Hayden Jones and her husband Pip beat "Peaches" Bostovitch. Back to you, Terry.

 

[demiurge1138]

Schlick: An electric penguin, twenty feet high, with long green tentacles that sting people, and you can stab it in the wings and the blood can go spurting psssssshhhh in slow motion!

and...

Voice Over 1: Dear Old Codgers, some friends of mine and I have formed a consortium, and working with sophisticated drilling equipment, we have discovered extensive nickel deposits off Western Scodand. The Cincinnatti Mining Company.
Voices Over 2: Good for you, ma'am.
Voice Over 3: Dear Old Codgers, I am President of the United States of America, Yours truly, R. M. Nixon.
Voices Over 2: Phew! Bet that's a job and a half, ma'am.

Demiurge out.

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!

 

[sniffles]

"Semprini!"

"We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni! We are the Knights Who Say Ecky-Ecky Phtang Zoop-Boing."

"One piece of tart without so much rat in it later..."

"Ooh! I wet 'em!"

"Tell us, oh Lord, who croaked Leicester?"