Favorite Monty Python Quotes

[Warrior Poet]

"I want a Last Supper with 12 disciples, one Christ, no kangaroos, by Thursday lunch, or you DON'T GET PAID!"

"Bloody fascist!"

"Look! I may not know much about art, but I'm the pope and I know what I like!"

___

Also, I love the bit about the voice announcer after Bicycle Repair Man sketch, who's reading in his back garden and gets to foaming at the mouth about communists. Nobody does manic anger like John Cleese.

Warrior Poet

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

"If if if if if we if if if if I if if....oh"

Right. You want me to prevent the Universe from leaviing this forum, even if you come and get him...

 

[The Grumpy Celt]

"If if if if if we if if if if I if if....oh"

Right. You want me to prevent the Universe from leaviing this forum, even if you come and get him...

(Ahem)

"Would you like to come up stairs?"

(All time favorite - its so useful)

"My brain hurts!"

 

[Desdichado]

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your .
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

 

[Particle_Man]

Splunge!

 

[Insight]

Why is it that nobody remembers the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nurnburger-bratwustle-gernspurten-mitz-weimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shonedanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?

 

[greymist]

"What a silly bunt!"

 

[Gomez]

Customer: I've come about your advert—"Small white pussy cat for sale. Excellent condition."

Shopkeeper: Ah. You wish to buy it?

Customer: That's right. Just for the hour.

 

[AdmundfortGeographer]

I loved the segment in Life of Brian, "What have the Romans ever done for us..."

 

[Skrit]

Food Inspector: "I am to believe your "Crunchy frog chocolate" is made from a real frog!"

Bicycler: "Why are their Chinese in the British Consulate?? where is the ambassador?"
Chinese Man: "So sorry ambassador tragically was shot, fell out the window, onto a car bomb"

Professor:"I created a vegetable that will eject its' self from a moving vehicle in case of an accident"
bicycler: "Hey that tomato just jump out of the window"
Professor: "Wow it really works"
Both:"AHHHHHHH"

Man: "You sold me a dead Parrot"