Female DM's

[Thornir Alekeg]

Then there is a phenomenon I've seen only twice. I'm not sure if this is a thread hijack, but it seems appropriate and we are already 5/6 pages in.
Twice I've seen wives of DMing guys seem interested in the game, not what seems like the logical interest in spousal activities, but actually hanging around to watch or even try to participate. And the husband asks them to leave. I vaguely remember the first guy stated, "We've talked about this before" and the second guy said, "I can't DM straight when she's watching."

Any insight into this?

I haven't seen the women turned away, but in one group I played in the fiancee of one of the players hung out and made suggestions so often that the DM told her she had three choices: Leave, be quiet, or roll up a character. She tried to be quiet for a couple of sessions and couldn't take it, so she finally relented and rolled up a character - and turned out to be one heck of a player.

As for DMing straight when "she" is watching, I guess I can understand it some. Things can get a little awkward for a moment or two when one of my players, who plays a Sorceress who is a bit of a vixen, starts flirting with NPCs and I play along, only to find a look from my wife (who is also a player) that is obviously telling me to dial it back. And so far my wife has not gotten her character into any serious trouble where I've had to rule against her. That will be an interesting test when it first happens...

 

[der_kluge]

I too am blown away by Piratecat's comment that he knows 19 female GMs. I don't know 19 female gamers, and I probably barely know 19 male gamers.

I've met a decent number of folks from ENWorld at Game days that I've organized, and I can only recall one woman showing up. My wife played in our first 3e game, and the DM's wife played as well (she had played with him in the past), and we had another female (another wife) that played with us, and continued until she gave birth earlier this year.

In college, my friend had a couple of friends that were girls, one girlfriend, and another friend of hers. I think after I moved away when I graduated, both of them tried their hand at GM'ing, but I didn't play in their games, since I had moved away by that time.

But, I know them, so technically, that makes the number of female GMs I know at two, though I met ButterCup at GenCon last year, so does that make the number 3? *shrug*

 

[Three_Haligonians]

Is there any difference?

Is there really any difference between female and male GM's? As far as I've decerned, ALL GM's have thier own, unique style of leading a game, regardless of thier sex. As to any trends that would set female GM's apart from males, I have yet to see any in my own experience and doubt that there has been any studies done in regards to this. There are female GM's that hate rules, just as there are those that love rules, those that favour roll-play, and those that favor role-play, just as you would expect to find with male GM's. If you loved/hated a game, it probably had less to do with the sex of your GM and more to do with your taste in roleplaying.

I, myself, (a female, btw) have been roleplaying since I was in Gr. 4. My boyfriend roleplays, and contrary to what some percieve as a trend, he did not introduce me to the game. I've GM'ed less than I've PC'ed, but I've done more GM'ing recently, because I'm loving the 3.5 rules. In our gaming group, although we fluxuate in numbers, we often have more women at the table than men. If any of you find yourself in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada and want to join as a player at my table, I'm sure you'd be welcolmed. But be forewarned: aside from my being unique (in that everyone is unique), I doubt you'll find anything different in my style of play than you would anyone else!

T from Three Haligonians

 

[Wycen]

I haven't seen the women turned away, but in one group I played in the fiancee of one of the players hung out and made suggestions so often that the DM told her she had three choices: Leave, be quiet, or roll up a character. She tried to be quiet for a couple of sessions and couldn't take it, so she finally relented and rolled up a character - and turned out to be one heck of a player.

As for DMing straight when "she" is watching, I guess I can understand it some. Things can get a little awkward for a moment or two when one of my players, who plays a Sorceress who is a bit of a vixen, starts flirting with NPCs and I play along, only to find a look from my wife (who is also a player) that is obviously telling me to dial it back. And so far my wife has not gotten her character into any serious trouble where I've had to rule against her. That will be an interesting test when it first happens...

Good points, though in the second case everybody but me and another guy are married, and the two of us aren't going to cross any lines. This DM does have a waiting list for new players though, so I suppose he isn't interested in a 7th player at the table.

In the first case, I suspect there may have been issues of favoritism, or rather expected favoritism.

Yeah, both guys have missed a great opportunity.

This is what I figured, but not being in their shoes I can only guess.

 

[derelictjay]

I've never met a female DM, and only had the opportunity to play with a female player once in a 2ed game I was running, which she obviously didn't take to; probably because the group I was DMing wasn't too keen on roleplaying, which is what she alluded as what she wanted to do.

I really feel I might be missing out on something. But then again the city I live in, on the south end of Hades (see my location), only really has one gaming store, and it's on the wrong side of town, and doesn't seem to have any real interest in gaming, even tho the city full of around 300,000 peope. And of the male gamers the concept of role-playing is totally alien.

 

[Axegrrl]

But if not introduced by their partners,

Hah. I made "must be a gamer" one of the conditions for a potential spouse. Stuck to it, too, and found a guy who was already a gamer.

how were you female DM's drawn into the game?

The Sears WishBook Christmas catalog, ca. 1979 -- it sounded interesting, we were beyond the toy stage, and so the parents got the basic set for my brother and the expert set for me for Christmas gifts.

 

[takyris]

Then there is a phenomenon I've seen only twice. I'm not sure if this is a thread hijack, but it seems appropriate and we are already 5/6 pages in.
Twice I've seen wives of DMing guys seem interested in the game, not what seems like the logical interest in spousal activities, but actually hanging around to watch or even try to participate. And the husband asks them to leave. I vaguely remember the first guy stated, "We've talked about this before" and the second guy said, "I can't DM straight when she's watching."

Any insight into this?

I can tell you the reason my wife won't be in one of my games (aside from her not really being interested, although she supports me doing it -- and made me this cake for my birthday):

So I made some riddles for a nasty dungeon hack. The first one involved a poem that listed a bunch of colors, told the reader to the colors together in his mind and touch the appropriate color -- this was in front of a rusty iron statue covered with gemstones of all different colors. The party got blasted with more lightning bolts (wrong answers) than had ever been thrown in the history of the party.

I tell this to my wife at home later that night. She says, "Wait? They did what? You don't get WHITE from putting red and blue and green together. At least, not if it's paint instead of light. You'd get like a brownish-gray color... hey, did you say it was a rusty iron statue? Like, a brownish-gray rusty iron statue? Is that what you're supposed to touch?" Er, yes, it was.

A later riddle involved a big nasty rhyme telling the reader to beware of saying a specific name, a name popular in their campaign, and going to lengths to describe this name, and then having a blank at the end of the poem for which the name was a perfect fit. The party triumphantly called out the name, and then looked hurt like little puppy dogs when they got zotted.

When I told my wife this, she said, "Wait, didn't you just spend the whole poem telling them not to say his name?" Er, yes. "So basically, you were just ****ing with them?" Er, yes. "Let me see it written out. I bet there's a word hint. Hah. First letters of each line spell out 'Say Not'. Is that the answer?" Er, yes.

My wife has also correctly guessed every major plot element before I've finished explaining it to her, often with additional improvements I haven't thought of. She will never be in my campaign -- she's the one person I can't bluff.

 

[barsoomcore]

When I was marshalling conventions players actually asked to change tables to prevent being at tables run by either KidCthulhu or Kriskrafts.

WHAT!!!???

Sorry, maybe that wasn't entirely clear.

WHAT!!!!!????

I don't think I could keep from clocking somebody upside the head if I heard them say that. I mean, aside from the fact that both those ladies are obviously AWESOME -- just the principle alone would be enough for a head-clocking.

What kind of a MORON says something like that?

Sorry, calming down. Maybe.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr..............

 

[Silver Moon]

....I mean, aside from the fact that both those ladies are obviously AWESOME -- just the principle alone would be enough for a head-clocking. What kind of a MORON says something like that? Sorry, calming down. Maybe.

Relax barsom and take you medications. Obviously I agree with you, but part of the job of a marshall is to try to make everyone happy with their games. I remember once where Kriskrafts got saddled with a sexist player for an RPGA game who was condescending to her the entire game. When we did scoring for that game (6 categories scored 1 to 5, 5 being the highest) she received 3 perfect scores (30) two near-perfect scores (29) and straight 1's from that player.

 

[barsoomcore]

Relax barsom and take you medications.

*pops half-a-dozen Valium*

You are a better person than I am. And there's no such thing as "Too damned Scottish!"