Female DM's

[Thornir Alekeg]

Keep coming to the ENWorld gamedays and you'll get to meet several (and thank you from all of us for wearing pants to the last one).

Has anyone heard about a game day coming up? I would love to try and make one and meet some of you. I think there was one since I joined ENWorld, but I could not make it that weekend.

 

[Silver Moon]

Has anyone heard about a game day coming up?

My guess is probably not until sometime in the fall or winter, as Summer tend to be pretty busy with other conventions (Origins, GenCon, etc.). Don't worry, I'm sure there will be another one.

Now, getting back to the original subject of Female DM's/GM's. I've found that gender isn't really a factor - I've had both good and bad GM's of both genders. What really makes the difference is the amount of effort and ability to tell an entertaining story.

However, I have seen at gaming conventions male players who had a problem with playing with a female GM. When I was marshalling conventions players actually asked to change tables to prevent being at tables run by either KidCthulhu or Kriskrafts. I allowed that as I didn't want these excellent GMs to have to deal with players with attitude problems. Plus, the players were paying to play so they might as well have gotten a game they were comfortable with (even if it was with a less skilled GM).

 

[Thornir Alekeg]

When I was marshalling conventions players actually asked to change tables to prevent being at tables run by either KidCthulhu or Kriskrafts. I allowed that as I didn't want these excellent GMs to have to deal with players with attitude problems. Plus, the players were paying to play so they might as well have gotten a game they were comfortable with (even if it was with a less skilled GM).

Their loss, somebody else's gain from what I've read on these boards. Maybe these people had bad experiences in the past and fell into the trap of assuming that all female GMs are bad or something. I know from my very limited convention experience, you are always taking a bit of a risk, unless you actually know the GM, just because you cannot know if their playing style and yours will really mesh.

 

[Dark Jezter]

"It's true, you don't see many female DMs. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance that they're often mistaken for male DMs."

 

[WayneLigon]

However, I have seen at gaming conventions male players who had a problem with playing with a female GM. When I was marshalling conventions players actually asked to change tables to prevent being at tables run by either KidCthulhu or Kriskrafts. .

Now that is just sad. Actually, if I had a choice between two GM's I did not know and had never heard of before, I'd choose the woman as the one most likely to create a good gaming session. It's always worked out that way in the past.

I've played under three female GM's (two of them waaaaay back in the early 80's, the third one more recent and one of the best GM's I've ever played with, period. GURPS, D&D, Theatrix, Torg, Rolemaster... she ran lots of stuff.). The daughter of the third one also runs games for her friends.

 

[Trainz]

I've been playing/DMing for a long time, and had very few female players. All in all, I played with about 5 different women, 3 of which were really into it. One of them DM'ed about 3 game sessions, and they were OK I guess...

All that said, having women in my game sessions (as a DM or co-player) always added to the game. Women often bring an aspect that men do not a priori generate. They make the game more whole.

All that said, I'll pimp myself, and would be interested to play with any women that lives in Montreal. I'm happily married (10 years) and have two children, just so that my intentions are clear. Contact me at trainz(at)videotron(dot)ca

 

[Wycen]

Having lived in the San Francisco Bay Area all my life and gaming for 20 odd years of it, I have only played with one woman DM. I'm trying to dig through memories and come up with any others, but the closest is at DunDraCon about 2 years ago when one of our newer gamers, a woman, met a woman crying in the bathroom. Being who she is, she asked what was wrong, it was something about her boyfriend being a jerk. So our lady says, "Well hang with us girl!" So for 2 nights she stayed in the room with the guys, (our girl was staying with her boyfriend) and ran a game for the group. I missed the game, either being home at the time or doing something else, I don't remember.

The one woman who's run a game, Cathy, is good, but lacking rock solid knowledge of the rules. This wouldn't matter for some games but in her case she was running Fantasy Hero. This lead to horrible broken characters and items and frustrated me. Her story abilities however are strong.

I've played with I believe 3 women at a time in the group and I'd guess I've played with less the a dozen women...Cathy, Heidi, Amanda, Rebecca, Nazli, Min Jun, Lisa, Rat Woman, Nine Inch Nails Woman, Navy Wife, Biopsy Girl, I wish I could recall all their names right now. Biospy Girl I think was Becky or some derivation of that, and she met the DM through the hospital. They both had cancer and so I remember she showed up to a few games looking weak and wearing a baseball cap. Rat Woman had rats for pets. Nine Inch Nails Woman hit on me mentioning she had an extra ticket to see NIN, but I didn't realize she was hitting on me, probably because I wasn't attracted to her. Navy Wife isn't a wife anymore. I've also played with Lizard's wife and another woman, sorry I can't remember their names, no slight meant Lizard. It was at BenCon last year and Lizard was running a playtest session.

Then if you count the one live action game I played in, well, that would shoot the number above 2 dozen but I couldn't tell you any of their names.

Then there is a phenomenon I've seen only twice. I'm not sure if this is a thread hijack, but it seems appropriate and we are already 5/6 pages in.
Twice I've seen wives of DMing guys seem interested in the game, not what seems like the logical interest in spousal activities, but actually hanging around to watch or even try to participate. And the husband asks them to leave. I vaguely remember the first guy stated, "We've talked about this before" and the second guy said, "I can't DM straight when she's watching."

Any insight into this?

Edit: again added more woman gamers to list.

 

[S'mon]

I have found (and I doubt this has anything to do with gender so much as communication skills) that they have a harder time catching onto what the males of the group are saying in regards to descriptions. Maybe there is something to do with the whole other language thing.

We have this problem too - at least, I do. I think I need to work on this - both making sure I understand what the female DM is saying, and as a DM, ensuring that the female players understand what I'm saying.

 

[Silver Moon]

Twice I've seen wives of DMing guys seem interested in the game, not what seems like the logical interest in spousal activities, but actually hanging around to watch or even try to participate. And the husband asks them to leave. I vaguely remember the first guy stated, "We've talked about this before" and the second guy said, "I can't DM straight when she's watching." Any insight into this?

Yeah, both guys have missed a great opportunity. My wife was one of the founding members of our gaming group. In fact there were times during the group's early years where we had dated and broken up and the weekly game became the glue to still hold the friendship together (as neither of us were willing to give it up).

We have another player in the group whose wife once played in the group and then left. If she had stayed I think he would enjoy it more. Couples who enjoy gaming together also make it much easier to go to gaming conventions.

 

[Kastil]

Count me in as one of the female DMs. The current campaign I'm running has been going since, I think, September of last year. We had one that never got completed before that ?2 years? (personal issues with a husband who didn't understand the prep work part for gaming but let's not go into The House of Ugly shall we?).

I've had basically the same group for a while with only some players 'disappearing' from the earth. The best (not necessarily gming wise) player to leave had to be the one who sighted my style being too different for him. AKA I didn't allow him to use things from other D&D settings (one of my rules). I'm heavy on the RP side of the game but when I do give them combat, I make sure it's a challenge. I've created my own world (still in progress) and love DMing my little group. Granted, my game's online but that's what I have time for. When I'm tired after the game, I go to bed. No worrying with getting people out the door or that long drive home for me.

In fact, the couple (along with my own parents) who introduced me to D&D traded off DMing and both could tell a story. I don't think it matters if you're female or male whether or not you're a good DM or gamer for that matter. I've had my share of crappy campaigns in the past and my share of good.

I will make one final note in this rambling I have created..... I had a player who told me he preferred female DMs siting they could make NPCs interact better in game. Hmmm... here I thought it was because I'm a Gemini and I'm used to talking with myself.

Pah! no one else will listen to you!

::glances around nervously:: Shhh! They're looking at us now! ;-)