Female DM's

[Kid Charlemagne]

I would love to have females included in the group, but I simply don't see them. Is it geography? Is Chicago some void in the lady-gamer population?

I play in two groups - in Chicago. In one group there's one woman out of 6 people, in the other group there are at times as many as four women out of seven players - one of whom is a very competent DM (eris404) and another who has just recently started playing but who has shown interest in DM'ing, and I suspect she'll be quite good.

It also seems that a great majority of the women that play (from what I read on these boards) do so because there husbands or boyfriends do. My girlfriend and the significant others of 95% of my gaming pool would never even consider playing - it simply doesn't interest them.

That's not the case with any of the women players in either of my groups. In fact, in a couple of cases, the woman introduced her boyfriend into the gaming group rather than the other way around. The others were brought in by friends, not via any romantic connections. That's not to say that it isn't the case in many cases, it just hasn't been in my experience.

 

[mythago]

The terrible irony, of course, is that most males would love nothing better than to be ogled by the females, they just don't want to admit it.

I think they would not love it so much if it meant that their presence in a gaming group were only tolerated as long as they put up with ogling--no matter how unattractive they found the ogler, or how unavailable they were for ogling, or how much the ogling interfered with their gaming.

This is also, IMO, one of the reasons a lot of women get into gaming because of a husband/boyfriend or only stay in as long as the relationship with the gamer lasts. It makes them "off limits." They're not the strange interloping female anymore, so they can actually play the game.

So, for folks wondering where all the female gamers are, take a good, open-eyed look at your gaming group. If you were a female player, would you find the group welcoming? (And by welcoming I mean a good bunch of people to game with, not welcoming in the sense of "Baby, you're welcome to sit on my lap anytime!") Would you feel like the players spent less time interacting with your character than they did figuring out ways to ask you out? Are there elements of your games that might be less than attractive to a female player (like your buddy Bob, who has a thing about always making PCs who are huge-breasted nymphomaniac assassins)?

Just things to think about. If you can't find gamers at all, there's whole board for that at ENWorld, and you can always post looking-for-players notices at your local game store.

 

[Mercule]

Where do you people find these female geeks?

I crafted mine. Seriously, she started gaming because she was attracted to me, but we were juvenile and neither of us were up to directly 'hitting on' the other. By the time we got things sorted out (and married), she was hooked.

As far as female DMs, I've played under two. The first one was pretty good, but it was an all female group -- which wouldn't be a bad thing, normally, but the game seemed to be a way for them to all vent a certain amount of misanthropy. That kinda spoiled it a bit. I'd game with her again, though, because she was good and I assume that some maturity would have come.

The second wasn't bad, but had a tendancy to play favorites and make numerous references to previous games that I (and some other players) weren't privy to. There was also a slight Monty Haul feeling, which I'm not a fan of -- even when I'm receiving.

 

[eris404]

I play in two groups - in Chicago. In one group there's one woman out of 6 people, in the other group there are at times as many as four women out of seven players - one of whom is a very competent DM (eris404) and another who has just recently started playing but who has shown interest in DM'ing, and I suspect she'll be quite good.

You are so kind.

Christine would love to hear that, BTW.

 

[Talon5]

Been gaming for twenty some odd years, been a member of three groups- the first was led and GMed by a woman that dated my brother. She was well prepared for the campaign area, if you left you entered a fog and exited back intot he campaign area (ya, lame). She was one of the best thou.

Her daughters both GMed, thou I don't recall how good they were (still game with one of them, but she refuses to GM).

That first group was about 50/50 female.

The next group- four teen age males, all the same age. Near the end of that group we added two females (one was my girlfriend- aka Dawn) and the other was her friend ("Shorty"- my wife now). Both GMed, both were reasonablely good, thou Dawn scared me with scenes of torture and torment. Shorty liked character story and back group, loves maps and things discribed.

The Crew (as I call them) is the present group. There are two females (my wife and one of the daughters from my first group), only my wife GMs and I think the group of three males intimidates her as we are all strong players and it gives her little room.

I have found that gender plays no role in GMing or playing skill, talent or whatever. I have found (and I doubt this has anything to do with gender so much as communication skills) that they have a harder time catching onto what the males of the group are saying in regards to descriptions. Maybe there is something to do with the whole other language thing. Don't know, don't care, just so long as everyone has fun.

 

[ivocaliban]

I've been table-top RPing for close to 15 years now. In about 90% of the games I've played I've been the DM myself. The few female gamers I've played with were of two types: A) The intense, well-prepared actress...who made everyone else (i.e. the guys) step up to the plate and be their characters rather than just rolling dice; and B) The girlfriends of other gamers who played simply because they were there and generally seemed fairly miserable and uninterested. I've known one of Type A and several (some I dated myself) Type B. That being said I'm sure there's a great variety of others out there, but I just haven't had much experience playing with them. To date, I've never known a female DM in person.

However, I've known quite a few in Neverwinter Nights, though I rarely play that game anymore for a variety of reasons. In the respect of online playing I have to say that female gamers/DMs are far more common, or at least more noticeable to me considering the hole in the ground I live in. They're every bit as good, and often better at this sort of RPing/DMing than males from my observations.

I really think that the world of gaming would be much better (for players, DMs, etc.) if there were more female DMs and gamers in general. The problem is that many people do look to RPing, at least at an early age, for social interaction that they're not receiving from the rest of the world. If there were females in more of those RPing circles it might make the divisions between genders seem smaller instead of greater (as playing in an all-male/all-female RPG circle can often do).

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Its the semi-annual Women In Gaming thread sale!

I've gamed on and off since middle school, and run games a lot more than I've been able to play recently. I didn't come to it as a girlfriend, though when I was single I wasn't above in group dating. (I met the love of my life and father of Lump at a D&D group, so that worked out nice. ) I can't rank my own DMing of course, but I will say that one group I ran for a while basicly started by me running a one shot at the local gaming store and instantly gaining 3 minions.

Convienitly, I don't get ogled much, or I don't notice when I am....

Kahuna Burger

 

[The_Gneech]

I think they would not love it so much if it meant that their presence in a gaming group were only tolerated as long as they put up with ogling--no matter how unattractive they found the ogler, or how unavailable they were for ogling, or how much the ogling interfered with their gaming.

Well anything gets old; that wasn't my point.

-TG

 

[tpink]

My sweetie runs any number of gaming systems: Mage, Buffy, 7th Sea, but she won't touch d20 generally or D&D specifically. Too many rules for her, she says. Get rid of the rules lawyers, I say.

It's also about time and the complexity of getting encounters balanced. I see the hours you put in to get a D&D game to run smoothly. Frankly, the other systems don't require quite that level of commitment. I have to work on the plot and story, but I don't have to balance the deadliness factor of the enemy NPCs quite so carefully. That allows me to focus on the stories I want to tell instead.

 

[Lizard]

My sweetie runs any number of gaming systems: Mage, Buffy, 7th Sea, but she won't touch d20 generally or D&D specifically. Too many rules for her, she says. Get rid of the rules lawyers, I say.

A famous quote from my wife, who runs a Testament (Green Ronin) game:"I don't like this game. It has too many rules. I like D&D better."

What was 'this game' in the quote?

Big Eyes, Small Mouth.

One person's rules-light is another person's confusing, I suppose...