FFG Legendary Class contest submissions

[Khur]

Requests for editing...

New list:

The Storm
Warrior of the Broken Wake
Blade of God
Ranged Huntsman
The Brawler
The One
Green Warden
Elf Lord
The King's Warden
The Maitre d'Escrime
The Neclord

Requests from Khur:

Make your document OGL compliant (eliminate DM, WotC's trademark, in favor of GM, for example). Try not to have any of your abilities named the same as other abilities or spells in the Core Rulebooks. Try to use colorful names too.

Use the normal indication of an ability's type. For example, use "Aura of Fear (Su): The neclord exudes an aura of fear around him…" instead of tacking this type of statement on the end: " This is a spell-like ability." Use that type of statement to indicate special circumstances like: " This is a mind-affecting, sonic, enchantment ability." That type of statement indicates things like: vermin are immune, anything that is deaf is immune, and elves get +2 to saving throws against the power.

Extraordinary Abilities (Ex), Supernatural Abilities (Su), Spell-like Abilities (Sp). Not every ability will fall into these categories – such as a legendary ability increase.

Spell-like abilities usually require some action on the part of the caster. They usually provoke attacks of opportunity. They may usually only be used as a standard action (replacing other attacks).

Make it so that anyone trying to be a member of the class in question could somehow qualify at 12th level. Make sure it works for your envisioned path.

When editing your class, one of the best ways to do so is make a character and see how it works. I discovered this when looking over Spiff's Neclord v 2.0. I'm not trying to come down on Spiff and his class, the concept of which I like. I do want these classes to be as good as possible, rivaling the pros at FFG.

If you think you're not up to the task of editing like this, then let one of us help you.

Thanks everyone.

 

[kingpaul]

Ranged Huntsman
Weapon of God

Khur,

Just updated my stuff to reflect your requests.

 

[Ruavel]

Editing

one down... one to go...

Khur, if you could go through this and double check for me, I'm happy to make any changes you require...

thanx...

 

[Khur]

More requests from Khur and...

One more thing about editing ... try to avoid page references to core rulebooks. Use the abbreviations PHB, DMG, and MM to refer to the core books. (Someone tell me if this is unnecessary to be OGL compliant or if it is still a violation.)

Another thing is, the character you make up to make sure your class works as written can be included in the document as an NPC if you like.

I got the Neclord v2, Weapon of God, Ranged Huntsman and the Maitre d'Escrime so far. I'm looking them over.

Thanks everyone!



Here's the revised Green Warden for scrutiny:

 

[reddist]

Re: More requests from Khur and...

Use the abbreviations PHB, DMG, and MM ...

Minor nitpick.. there is no PHB... Its the PH, or Player's Handbook, or Core Rule Book I. PHB is a (very) common term, but it is technically incorrect. For something official, you should probably use an official term.

2cp

-Reddist

 

[kingpaul]

Re: Re: More requests from Khur and...

Minor nitpick.. there is no PHB... Its the PH, or Player's Handbook, or Core Rule Book I. PHB is a (very) common term, but it is technically incorrect. For something official, you should probably use an official term.

Actually, per the d20 Guide, v. 2, WotC says you can cite the Player's Handbook by its title or by PHB.

 

[reddist]

Ah... I'll have to update my bookmarks. Thanks.

Still... it is incorrect

Heh,

-Reddist

 

[kingpaul]

Still... it is incorrect

LOL

 

[Khur]

Re: More requests from Khur and...

DOH! I didn't take out my Player's Handbook references or DM in the Green Warden yet. I'll do that pronto.

Thanks to Paul and Reddist for their input. Here's the language form the d20 Guide for those who don't want to search for it:

• You may refer to the Dungeon Master’s Guide as the DMG, the Monster Manual as the MM. You may cite the Player’s Handbook by title, or as the PHB. You may cite the Psionics Handbook by title. You must not cite page number references, because pagination may change in future printings. You may cite chapter, heading, and subheading titles from the DMG, the MM, the PHB or the Psionics Handbook.
  
  Example:
  
  “See DMG Chapter 3, Special Abilities, Charm and Compulsion for more information.”
  
  At this time, you may not make reference by title to any other Wizards of the Coast products.

And BTW, I noticed some other things when reading the v2s of some work. Here's some recommendations that will help me come layout time:

• Don't put two spaces after any punctuation. It's a holdover from mono-spaced typewriters and unneeded with proportional fonts.
  
  Use a single tab to indent paragraphs.

As for writing, one common error I've seen (and made) is the use of a singular noun (a ninja) with a plural possessive pronoun (their). For example: "A ninja may use their sword to chop off heads all the time—that's Real Ultimate Power!" I realize this is an attempt by some folks to be sex neutral, but it's incorrect. Make the noun plural, or make the possessive appropriate. "Ninjas are crazy, and their swords are sharp!" or "A ninja wails on his guitar like a rock banshee!"

Pick one pronoun (he or she, not both or using "he or she" for every pronoun) and stick with it in the writing. It should be understood by mature, well-adjusted adults that this is actually a neutral statement within the limits of our language. If you're worried about it, just use she.

Thanks!



(EDIT) Technically, Reddist is right since Handbook is one word, but WotC sets the rules and they chose PHB.

 

[kingpaul]

Re: Re: More requests from Khur and...

As for writing, one common error I've seen (and made) is the use of a singular noun (a ninja) with a plural possessive pronoun (their). For example: "A ninja may use their sword to chop off heads all the time—that's Real Ultimate Power!" I realize this is an attempt by some folks to be sex neutral, but it's incorrect.

Really? I was under the impression it was now accepted practice. My English profs in college demanded it if we were referring to neutrals.