FILK You, EN World!

[Dannyalcatraz]

DRACONIC MONK (Van Halen "Atomic Punk")

I'm no pacifist in this violent age, uh
A scaled ascetic, whoa yes
I can remember when I had your rage
For me, I say no more, no more
No one need fear these streets at night with me- the Draconic Monk!
Whoa yeah, wow

I'm bringing order to these nether worlds
The underground, whoa yes
In every shadowed place my fearsome name is heard
Just look around, whoa yes
No one need fear these streets at night with me- the Draconic Monk!
Ooo, ahhh

I'm bringing order to these nether worlds
The underground, oh, oh
In every shadowed place my fearsome name is heard
Look around, whoa yeah
No one need fear these streets at night with me, nobody, ah
The Draconic Monk!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

LET'S DANCE (David Bowie)

Let's dance
Put on your armor and draw your steel
Let's dance
To the song that's raging in our hearts and souls

Let's slay
While fury lights up your face
Let's slay
Slay all around 'till we clear a space

If you say charge, I'll charge with you
If you say ride, we'll ride
And lo, my love of Kord
Would drive my heart and sword
If you should fall
By force of arms
Before our foes in battle

Let's dance
No fear that I should fall
Let's dance
For fear tonight is all

Let's slay
you'll see no fear in my eyes
Let's slay
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight

If you say charge, I'll charge with you
If you say ride, we'll ride
And lo, my love of Kord
Would drive my heart and sword
If you should fall
By force of arms
Before our foes in battle

Let's dance
Put on your armor and draw your steel
Let's dance
To the song that's raging in our hearts and souls

Let's slay
you'll see no fear in my eyes
Let's slay
Under the moonlight, this serious moonlight

 

[ExploderWizard]

I have a few based on classic modules -previously posted earlier:

KEEP ON THE BORDERLANDS ( Close to the Borderline by Billy Joel)

Crossbow, polearm, possible PC homicide
the dwarf stands down and the elf gets mad
The thief shows his smooth side
Evil guy skulking in the yard looks like he's got his time to bide
He wants to case that bank
Cause the scrawny clerk, is his man on the inside

While the lizard men hide in thier dark place
The black widows throw a web in my face
I get attacked by a hermit thats stark raving mad
I don't want to fight him cause his life is so sad

Encounters' tough but its just enough
To earn me the level when its XP time

I survived, I'm still alive
But I'm getting close to the borderlands
Keep on the borderlands

A gold six silver
Won't buy you much lately in the keep these days
And when you can get plate
You know you can't run fast any more in the high caves
Rich man, poor man, and both are Karameikan
Bodies lying on the ground
The Bree-Yark yell we're gonna all go to hell
When the goblins charge down

I got a sword plus one and some style you can see
I don't cast the spells they get cast on me
I got real stupid friends that will make me sigh
They don't know how to map and they ain't gonna try
I shouldn't bitch, I shouldn't cry

I'd get some new companions but I don't have time
I don't know why, I'm a lawful guy
But I'm getting close to the borderlands
Keep on the borderlands

I thought I'd hack n slash so many things
I thought I'd cleave them all away
I didn't think I looted everything
But you cant afford to plunder what you're not prepared to slay

I need a wizard for my messy kills
I need a cleric for my medical ills
I need a banker to finance my keep
I need security to get some sleep
It isn't new the caves I'm going through
But every player knows you got to play one time
Another night I fought the good fight
But I'm getting closer to the borderlands
The Keep on the Borderlands

 

[ExploderWizard]

INVERNESS
(To the tune of "China Grove" by the Doobie Brothers)

When the sun comes up on a haunted little keep
Down around Abbor- Alz
And the freaks are creeping down into the dark
with thier nasty pals

The creatures of the keep are strange
Trapped in time from whence they came

Well, youre talkin bout Inverness
Oh, Inverness

Well, the Duke of Urnst and the Seer
Lord, theyre a plotting
They are the talk of the town
With the Soul Gem up there lying
And they are trying
To find ways to get it down
They say Galap-Dreidel's insane
And each corner entrance a game

Were talkin bout the Inverness
Oh, Inverness

But every day theres a new group comin
The ways of a railroaded view
The wizard and his buddies
With their shields and long swords
You can't even see the tower at night

And though its a part of a time gone by
People dont seem to care
They just keep on lookin to the past
Talkin bout the Inverness
Oh, Inverness

 

[ExploderWizard]

SHRINE OF KUO TOA (Hotel California by The Eagles)

In a dark cavern temple, near where the drow lair
Cold stink of the fishmen,rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a flickering light
My shield grew heavy and my sword was drawn
I had to prep for the fight

There they stood in the doorway
I heard the temple bell
And I was thinking to myself,
' I'm gonna send these fish freaks straight to hell

Then they lit up a huge torch, tried to scare me away
They were croaking down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to Shrine of Kuo toa
Such an awful place
wonder how you'd taste?
Plenty of loot at the Shrine of Kuo toa
Any type of gear, you can find it here

Thier minds are tortured and twisted driving them all to bad ends
They got a goddess they call Blipdoolpoolp and she's got friends
How they kill on the altar....sweet blood to let
Some kill to remember, some kill to forget

So I called up the chieftain
’please release my guys
He said, ’we haven’t had any captives here since CY 609
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Slit your throat in the middle of the night
I can hear them say...
Welcome to Shrine of Kuo toa
Such an awful place
wonder how you'd taste?

They livin’ it up at the Shrine of Kuo toa
What a harsh surprise, bring your lucky die
Piercers on the ceiling,
The yellow mold so nice
And they said ’we are all just worshippers here, of our own device’
And in the chief whip's chambers,
They melee'd as they wished
They slash it with their vorpal blades
But they just can’t kill the fish

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
’Ho-there’ said the fish man,
We are hatched here to believe
You can worship any time you like
But you can never leave!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I wanted to XP ExploderWizard for the last two...but of course, you can't do that. So I chose to XP EW for "Shrine of Kuo-Toa"

...only to find I must spread the XP around. Good work, anyway!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

SUMMON A DEMON (Justin Timberlake "Cry Me A River")

You were my liege
You were my heart
But you didn't know all the ways I served you, no
What you did was chancy
Tried necromancy
But I bet you didn't think your plans would come crashing down, no

You don't have to say, what you did,
I already know, I learned from scrying
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Then why arrest me in my home
Now you tell me you need me
Through your herald, Garl the gnome
Queen I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other Mage
Your bridges were burned, and now it's my turn
To go...summon a demon
Summon a demon
Summon a demon
Summon a demon, yea yea

I know that they say
That some things are better left unsaid
It wasn't like you only talked to spirits, you know it
(Don't act like you don't know it)
All of these things omens told me
Keep messing with my head
(Messing with my head)
You should've read prophesy
Then you may not have blown it
(Yea..)

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I learned from scrying
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

You told me you loved me
Then why arrest me in my home
(In my home)
Now you tell me you need me
Through your herald, Garl the gnome
(Through your herald, Garl the gnome)
Queen I refuse, you must have me confused
With some other Mage
(I'm not like them Lady)
Your bridges were burned, and now it's my turn
(It's my turn)
To go...summon a demon
(Go on and just)
Summon a demon
(Go on and just)
Summon a demon
(Maybe I'll go and just)
Summon a demon, yea yea

Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be leaving
Oh
(Oh)
The damage is done
So I guess I be... leaving

You don't have to say, what you did,
(Don't have to say, what you did)
I already know, I learned from scrying
(I already know, uh)
Now there's just no chance, for you and me, there'll never be
(No chance, you and me)
And don't it make you sad about it

Summon a demon
(Go on and just)
Summon a demon
(Maybe I'll go and just)
Summon a demon
(I can go on and just)
Summon a demon, yea yea

Summon a demon
(Lady, I'll go and just)
Summon a demon
(Go on and just)
Summon a demon
(Cause I'm already mad)
Summon a demon, yea yea
(What if it summons more, oh no)

Summon a demon
Summon a demon, oh
Summon a demon, oh
Summon a demon, oh

Summon a demon, oh
(Summon, summon)
Summon a demon, oh
(Summon, summon)
Summon a demon, oh
(Summon, summon)
Summon a demon, oh
(Summon, summon)
x2

 

[Alzrius]

Necroing because these are too fun to stop writing.

Combat From Afar (with apologies to Bruno Mars)

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Start to glow when she's petrifying
Her hair, her hair
It bites, it hisses, and it's writhing
She's so horrible
And I have to stay away

Yeah I hope, I hope
That I'll roll for a crit and save my PC
Cause he so, he so
Could really use the solo XP
But every time the GM says she looks my way, I say

If I see her face
I don't think I can make my save
So I'm engaging
Combat from afar
This fighting style
It might just save my life for a while
And so I'm engaging
Combat from afar

Her bow, her bow
Fires poisoned arrows at my AC
Her stats, her stats
Must be advanced like an NPC
She's so horrible
And I have to stay away

Oh, I know, I know, I know I'm out at maximum range
If 20's what I need to hit, that wouldn't be strange
So don't even bother asking if I'll try melee
You know I'll say

If I see her face
I don't think I can make my save
So I'm engaging
Combat from afar
This fighting style
It might just save my life for a while
And so I'm engaging
Combat from afar

Just from afar
Just from afar
So I'm engaging
Combat from afar

If I see her face
I don't think I can make my save
So I'm engaging
Combat from afar
This fighting style
It might just save my life for a while
And so I'm engaging
Combat from afar

Yeah

[video=youtube;LjhCEhWiKXk]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjhCEhWiKXk[/video]

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

This is an example of using positive energy for necromancy!

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

From another thread:

"i kissed a Grell; aka: Charm Monster"

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, staff in hand
Lost my discretion
It's not what I'm used to
Just wanna try it on
I'm curious for it
Caught my attention

I kissed a Grell and I liked it
The beak tastes like bloody meatsticks
I kissed a Grell just to try it
I hope my consort don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a Grell and I liked it
I liked it

No, I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter,
You're my experimental game
Just human nature,
It's not what,
Druids do
Not how they should behave
My head gets so confused
Hard to obey

I kissed a Grell and I liked it
The beak tastes like bloody meatsticks
I kissed a Grell just to try it
I hope my consort don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a Grell and I liked it
I liked it

Druids we are so magical
Oak leaves, curved blades, shapechangeable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a Grell and I liked it
The beak tastes like bloody meatsticks
I kissed a Grell just to try it
I hope my consort don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a Grell and I liked it
I liked it

FALCHION (David Bowie's "Fashion")

There's a brand new blade
But I don't know it's name
That people from strange lands
Use again and again
It's big and it's bad
Bringing tension and fear
They use it over there
but we don't use it here

[CHORUS]
Falchion! Strike to the left
Falchion! Strike to the right
Ohhhhh, Falchion!
We are the goon squad
And we're coming to town
Bleed-bleed
Bleed-bleed

Listen to me - don't listen to me
Talk to me - don't talk to me
Fight with me - don't fight with me, no
Bleed-bleed
Bleed-bleed

There's a brand new sound,
But it's not very clear
That people from good homes
Are hearing this year
It's loud and tasteless
And I've heard it before
You hear it while you're killing
On the front lines of war
Ohhhhh chop, Falchion

[CHORUS]

Listen to me - don't listen to me
Talk to me - don't talk to me
Fight with me - don't fight with me, no
Bleed-bleed
Bleed-bleed

Ohhhhh, block,
chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
Fa-fa-fa-fa-Falchion
Ohhhhh, block,
chop chop chop chop chop chop chop chop
Fa-fa-fa-fa-Falchion
La-la la la la la la-la

UP ON THE ROOFTOP (Bejamin Hanby's "Up on the Rooftop/Housetop")

Up on the rooftop snowflakes fall
But you still hear Cthulhu's call
Up from the deepest darkest of seas
Heralding the old ones
Insane pleas

Chorus

Iä, iä, iä!
What do you say?
Iä, iä, iä!
What do you say?
Up on the rooftop
Click, click, click
Down thru the chimney with
Tentacles thick

First comes the taking
Of little Nell
Oh, dear Cthulhu
Do it well
Show her your visage
She laughs and cries
Horror will open
And shut her eyes

Repeat Chorus

Next comes the stalking
Of little Will
Oh, just hear what
A glorious trill
Here comes a shoggoth
"Tekeli-li!"
Run down the hall
And attempt to flee!

Repeat Chorus