Finding in-person games
- Thread starter Blue
- Start date
Celebrim
Legend
So I don't mean to be discouraging, but based on my 40 years of experience as a GM, you will not usually find a functional group in a public forum. What tends to happen is either you struck out as you have done here, or else you find that public forums attract dysfunctional people who have been kicked out of every group that they were involved in.
So the first truth is that there are a ton of games out there that never happen because people want a game but can't find each other. Right now as a the parent of a teenage daughter I can tell you that there are just based on observation of other teens my teens interact with a ton of nerd grrls out there that want a game but can't find a group to game with.
So my first advice to your teen daughter is gird on her bracers of +4 heroism and get up the nerve to start breaching the subject of having a game with like just about everyone she knows, because yes she almost certainly will be judged by some of them for being a nerd grrl, but there will also be a ton of people to whom she is the very healer dispensing aid that they were hoping for. Getting into and starting up a gaming group requires courage, but the culture of gamers is to tend to say "Yes!" to queries of "Can I play with you?" or "Do you want to play with us?" You will never regret asking as much as you would regret not asking. In fact, just replace "Hello!" as a greeting with "Do you want to play with us?" (Kindergarteners are so smart.) See a girl you don't know in a Percy Jackson Camp Halfblood t-shirt. That's a potential gamer. Not everyone you ask will become a life long friend, but a lot of them will.
My second truth is an even more bitter potion. There are a ton of games out there that never happen because there are always more players looking for groups than GMs that run games. The best way to get a game going is to run it yourself. This takes an even bigger risk than joining a group, but is even more likely to succeed because chances are when you go looking around for gamers you'll find people who want to play but no GM. That's because if you are a GM and you are any good at what you do, you never lack for players. In fact, you usually have to turn players away because the groups are getting too large.
So the first truth is that there are a ton of games out there that never happen because people want a game but can't find each other. Right now as a the parent of a teenage daughter I can tell you that there are just based on observation of other teens my teens interact with a ton of nerd grrls out there that want a game but can't find a group to game with.
So my first advice to your teen daughter is gird on her bracers of +4 heroism and get up the nerve to start breaching the subject of having a game with like just about everyone she knows, because yes she almost certainly will be judged by some of them for being a nerd grrl, but there will also be a ton of people to whom she is the very healer dispensing aid that they were hoping for. Getting into and starting up a gaming group requires courage, but the culture of gamers is to tend to say "Yes!" to queries of "Can I play with you?" or "Do you want to play with us?" You will never regret asking as much as you would regret not asking. In fact, just replace "Hello!" as a greeting with "Do you want to play with us?" (Kindergarteners are so smart.) See a girl you don't know in a Percy Jackson Camp Halfblood t-shirt. That's a potential gamer. Not everyone you ask will become a life long friend, but a lot of them will.
My second truth is an even more bitter potion. There are a ton of games out there that never happen because there are always more players looking for groups than GMs that run games. The best way to get a game going is to run it yourself. This takes an even bigger risk than joining a group, but is even more likely to succeed because chances are when you go looking around for gamers you'll find people who want to play but no GM. That's because if you are a GM and you are any good at what you do, you never lack for players. In fact, you usually have to turn players away because the groups are getting too large.
Blue
Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
Our FLGS doesn't hold any D&D events anymore. Not Adventurer's League, not a game night. Everything ended with the pandemic and they never started again.
Blue
Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
She's runs some one-shots, and is just starting running a longer game. But it's all online. She's graduated HS, with the last years of it being during pandemic so she doesn't have very many local friends, and many of those are scattering to remote colleges.
The problem is she wants to play. Saying "this will only happen if you GM" might be closer to a truth, but will also be a discouragement that may turn away from wanting to do this.
My experience with public forums only half aligns with yours. Yes, many of the gamers there are ones who can't find other groups. But only some are because they are aren't welcome at other groups - other times it's because they can't find groups. And I've seen GMs running events at their favorite gaming store because they want to introduce new players to the game, and that becomes a channel for good ones to get invited to home games. But unfortunately that seems outdated now with no events running.
aramis erak
Legend
Talk to them about restarting...
Blue
Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
That may be it. But I am running a game for both my kids, my niece and my nephew (who are ~40 minutes away) as well as a group of players around my age, and I'm in two other games. I don't think I have the time to run yet another game. And if they are near her age, their parents may find it creepy why a 50 year old man would run for them. Though I could pitch something in a public forum which would ameliorate that issue. Probably something a specific length, so it can end gracefully and connections have been made and like-mided players could get together and continue.
You are likely right that would work, but due to the time commitment from me I'd rather keep that for a Plan M or Q instead of Plan B.
Blue
Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
Yeah, especially if I was willing to run a game like Maxperson suggested.
Though to be honest a friend owned a FLGS so I went there even though it was 35 minutes away instead of 5, which has since closed. So I've never really been a regular at my local gaming store that they would know and trust me.
Celebrim
Legend
I mean I've ran weekly open tables at the local FGS as well, and had people driving up to 90 miles to come to those games. I understand how huge the unmet demand for GMs is, and the value of introducing people to the game. The fact that people were driving that far for a chance to play games that I considered casual one shots and juvenile hack-n-slash I think is evidence of that huge unmet demand.
But on the other hand, while not all of the people that showed up to an open table were toxic, none of them really made me want to game with them either. And when I have advertised for players, well... I learned not to do that after a while.
And while I've been in convention games where everyone at that table I would have been willing to game with again, I've been at tables where I wouldn't have wished players at the table on people who hated me.
I do sympathize. My own daughter's GM has gone off to college and she also prefers to play and is not eager to GM.
But while I've done a lot of gaming in my life, I rarely get to play and certainly don't play as much as I want to. I do enjoy GMing... a lot, but it also at the same time annoys me that I have to GM.
Maxperson
Morkus from Orkus
If they are anything like my buddy who just opened a game store, they won't need to trust you. A DM brings in customers and stores often have more interested players than DMs.
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