Fish Stories: What's the best bluff you've ever gotten away with?

Gnome Quixote

First Post
"I killed an orc, and it was THIS big!"

Forgery, deceit and trickery play a pretty large part in the campaign I'm currently playing in--fully half of the sizable group of PC's could fairly be classified as con-men, tricksters, or outright criminals--and sometimes what initially seems like a simple little lie has become a major turning point for the adventure, if not the entire campaign.

Regale us fellow sneaky, duplicitous types with a tale of the boldest, most outlandish or elaborate bluff/lie/con that your DM let you get away with...or that you, as DM, let your player get away with. Were the dice just with you that night, or was the DM so impressed and/or flabbergasted that they couldn't not let it succeed? How big of an effect did it have on your character, the adventure, or the campaign as a whole?
 

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It wasn't my bluff, but...

Our party had gotten split up, and I played a PC who had been confused by an Umber Hulk- a Gnome Monk ally of mine kept me safe from some other critters...

When I came out of my confusion, he claimed to have single-handedly killed the Umber Hulk that lay dead in the middle of the room (in reality, it had been killed some time before- our PCs had merely stumbled upon it).

Dazed as my PC was, we figured he believed it...and when the rest of the party showed up, I repeated the story!

We all got a laugh out of it.
 

It involved an interrupted ritual, an illusion, a truly kickass bluff check, a silent suggestion spell, and it resulted in the mass suicide of an entire evil cult.


Glorious.
 

We had escaped from a desert slave caravan, and taken the slavers camels.
After a long, tedious travel, we reached a town that had never seen camels before.
I spun such an over the top load of bull that I had the local farrier convinced that a camel was a carnivorous, burrowing, fire-breathing beast that eventually grew two heads and liked nothing better than the taste of dwarf.
I even made a little song about the camel that had the entire group roaring.
Needless to say we got top-dollar for our ragged group of camels.
Sadly the RBDM eventually had us face off against a camel-mutant that actually COULD do all those things I lied about, and liked nothing better than the taste of PC!
 

In a convention game many years ago (pre-2E), each character had a secret agenda involving one other character. I forget how, but I figured out that the thief in the group was supposed to kill the druid I was playing. . . So I convinced the wizard in the party to (not really) cast invisibility on the thief to scout ahead.

We all pretended that he was invisible and sent him ahead where he was quickly killed. :)
 

You know, I've only had one DM who made room for the "Bluff" skill outside of pre-scripted encounters. That said, he was pretty disingenuous about it. He'd set DCs of 30+ for relaively simple bluffs as 1st Level. He didn't want players to stray from the pre-scripted adventure (i.e., the adventure as written in the module) and he saw bluff attempts as a way to do that, so he shut 'em down quickly. In retrospect, his games were crap.
 

I was playing a succubus - and no one else in the party knew. She was rather firmly under disguise and items she had and the location we were at kept detect evil from being a problem (smack dab in the middle of Baator). We got an opportunity to raid a magic shop and told to presume anything of a reasonable cost in the DMG was there...

I turn to the DM.
"... how about a Bracelet of Friendship?"
"The thing with the charms for your allies, that summons them with no save?... Um. Well it's pretty cheap so... I guess... Sure."

And then I turn to the paladin, "After all - this way if we ever get separated while we're in this trap, I can get us back together! Since I'm not really direct combat like some of the others here... why don't I hold it? That way it doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Look - we even have the extra charms for the mage's familiar and your mount!"
"That sounds like a great idea! Sure!"

And once we got out of that trap... I started with the flying reptilian rat that passed for a mage's familiar...
 

I was playing a cleric of a trickster type god, and our party was in serious need of some gold. We had recovered a few nearly worthless art objects (i.e. worth less that 10-50 gp each), including a landscape painting of a mountain cave. We were in a town where the nobles tended to try to keep up with the joneses and outdo each other. We used the last of our funds to rent a luxury suite at the most sumptuous inn in the city, where the lesser nobles with high aspirations congregated. My cleric (with maxed out bluff, 18 CHA, and skill focus bluff) passed himself off as a dealer of rarities and antiquities, and the other partymembers posed as my retinue. I made a big show of loudly asking the innkeper about the security of his establishment to ensure the safety of the priceless objets "d'art" in the collection I had just acquired from a late noble in a nearby city who had been an adventurer in his youth. A few good bluff checks, and I piqued the interest of a few nobles in the inn, who inquired about acquiring said items, and as soon as 1 inquired, another tried to snipe him to outdo him. Soon many were clamoring to buy them, so I announced I would hold an auction at the inn the next evening where everything would be available to the highest bidder. THe next day came and the various and sundry objects were selling for anywhere form 3 to 10 x their value as I bluffed my way through the auction, and nobles bid against each other to outdo each other on diplays of extravagence. Then came the landscape painting of the mountain cave. I wove a story telling how the painting was commisioned by an adventurer to provide clues to the location of a dragon's lair that the adventurer had not been able to conquer, but wanted to return to someday to claim the rich horde. The adventurer had been planning a final expedition when he died, and had heard the dragon had been slain but it's lair and hoard never found. Unfortunatley the key to the clues did with the adventurer, but someone with intelligence and resources could decipher the painting and find a vast fortune. So the DM calls or a bluff check since it's such a big lie. Now he uses the open ended rolls option form the DM Guide optional rules for skill checks, so on a nat 20 you roll again and add the second result, well first roll nat 20, second roll another nat 20 and third roll is a 17, plus all my bonuses wound up with a bluff check in the high 60's. The sense motive rolls for the nobles were crap, and the two richest nobles in attendance get into a bidding war for the worthless painting that ends up selling for more than 10,000 gp. Needless to say, we took our score and slipped out under cover of the night, using the money to buy a rare manuscript with a map indicating the location of a lost city we were seeking to find the key to topping a mad demon's schemes.



A second story was pulled by my players when I was DMing. The party was travelling through the mountian and had to go through a pass guarded by a frost giant. My wife was playing a gnomish bard, nd there was alao a wizard and a druid among the rest of the party. The druid scouted the pass using wild shape and spotted the giant and his herd of livestock.
As they approached the pass, the giant emerged and threatened the party. The gnome and the wizard used ghost sound to create the sounds of livestock panicking and the sound of other angry giants. The gnome bard them tells the giant they saw a raiding party of hill giants earlier who bragged how they would steal the sheep of the frost giant. A good bluff and a bad sense motive by the frost giant, and he left to go check on his herd (and food supply) thinking the other giants were a bigger threat than the party, and the party hurried through the pass bypassing the giant without a fight, which they desparately needed to do because they were still in pretty bad shape from the previous encounter.

-M
 

The bard in my campaign was one on one with a nasty Vampire Fighter/Lasher at the vampire's home turf. The vampire was able to out combat the bard severely the first time they fought and had quite a grudge so he ended up toying with him for a while with hit and run attacks. Said bard managed to find the vampire's coffin inbetween fights, then used Phantasmal Illusion to create the image of the vampire's coffin being destroyed, along with a bluff check he managed convince the vampire that it was fact. The vampire then got Cure Serious Wound'd down to past 0 hp and floated around the house in despair until he finally dissipated.
 

Many years ago, in 1st ed, I was able to convince the bandit leader we'd "befriended" that he had contracted a vile disease and I'd better cure it for him before he started to sicken.

He thus sat there and did nothing while I cast "charm person" on him.

We basically used up the bandits protecting us from wandering monsters. Best 1st level spell I'd ever cast.
 

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