Forcing Someone to DM?

[Retreater]

I'm the only DM in my group. I think that most of the time the work I do goes unappreciated. Lately one player in particular seems hell bent on hogging the spotlight and refusing to work with the rest of the party. I'm thinking about just showing up next session and telling that player that since he seems to want all the attention that he's running the game that night.

Has anyone ever done something like this?

Retreater

 

[Umbran]

Not I.

It'd make a dramatic show of it, but I would expect it to create a fairly confrontational atmosphere right from the get-go. That, in my experience, makes it more difficult to solve tha actual problems at hand.

It sounds like you've got two basic problems - a problematic player and general lack of appreciation for what you do. Those are vary different issues, and they've got rather different solutions, though some ways of dealing with the latter could make the former kind of moot...

 

[dpetroc]

Two observations: one is - you are not having fun DM-ing anymore. Whether this is burnout or a true lack of appreciation on the part of your players is something you need to think about. Second, you have lost control of your group. The only way someone can grandstand and hog the spotlight is if you let them.

Handing over the DM reins to a player who is a glory hound spells disaster and punishes your other players. You should try and reassert control of the group, even if that means telling the player to shaddap and let others have a go. Have the plot focus on one or another of the players and give them a chance to be the center -- then move to other players in turn. If the player is that much of a problem, you can also 'disinvite' him/her.

If DMing is that big of a burden, explain it to your group and ask one of them to either take the reins for awhile. If no one is willing to DM, try switching games for a bit just to re-energize yourself.

 

[Mark]

Retreater - Where do you play?

 

[Gentlegamer]

I've done something like that before. Because of the grief that was constantly heaped on me, I told my group I was not DMing for them anymore so if they wanted to play, one of them would have to pick up the mantle. Some of them did . . . and got a taste of their own medicine. They learned their lesson and I later resumed DM duties.

 

[FATDRAGONGAMES]

I've done something like that before. Because of the grief that was constantly heaped on me, I told my group I was not DMing for them anymore so if they wanted to play, one of them would have to pick up the mantle. Some of them did . . . and got a taste of their own medicine. They learned their lesson and I later resumed DM duties.

This happened to me quite a while ago, and I did exactly that (worked great.)

 

[Peni Griffin]

Tell people you're feeling burned out and want a break. If no one else steps in to DM, continue the get-togethers with boardgames or whatever.

I think most DMs feel unappreciated a lot of the time. It's easy for the players to assume that the DM sees them having a good time and knows they appreciate it, not realizing that a DM is so busy tracking all the in-game action that he's barely aware of the players as people. Also, even one player who is quiet, or who pushes a lot for this or that nonstandard feat, weird ruling, or cool piece of equipment, or indulges in routine whining about silly stuff that doesn't really bother anybody, can give the DM an exagerrated idea of player dissatisfaction.

Perhaps somebody need to write up the "five DM languages of player appreciation," so people can assess what they need to do to make their DM feel appreciated. (The "five languages of love" in pop psychology are verbal affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, gifts, and quality time, most of which still work in this context. DMs are giving quality time and acts of service by the act of holding games; bringing food/drink and telling the DM that you had fun are accepted methods of keeping them happy; but I'm pretty sure lining up to hug one after every game would backfire in most groups.)

 

[Jhaelen]

I'm the only DM in my group. I think that most of the time the work I do goes unappreciated. Lately one player in particular seems hell bent on hogging the spotlight and refusing to work with the rest of the party. I'm thinking about just showing up next session and telling that player that since he seems to want all the attention that he's running the game that night.

Has anyone ever done something like this?

Retreater

To me this sounds like you don't speak with your players outside of your games. Bad mistake! Do your players know, how you feel about this? Tell them! Communication is key.

I'm always collecting feedback after a session to figure out how they liked it, etc. If I am unhappy about something, I tell my players (if not right after the session, I often send emails to all participants). The same thing happens, if one of my players is unhappy. We're discussing it and look for ways to get rid of the problems.

I'm not sure if it's true in your case, but it sounds like your problem stems mainly from one particular player. I've had players in the past which didn't integrate well with the rest of the group or had problems with the way I was running the game.

There is an 'easy' solution for this:
Ask the player to adapt. If (s)he refuses, ask him/her to leave. If the player is really 'hogging the spotlight and refusing to work with the rest of the party', chances are (s)he's not just ruining your fun but also everybody else's.

If you have problems with more than one player (or all players) tell them you no longer want to DM. But I wouldn't do it at the start of a session. Do it well beforehand.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

but I'm pretty sure lining up to hug one after every game would backfire in most groups.)

well, MOST groups.....

yeah, unspoken understandings can be troublesome, esp since they are rarely understood as well as the person who doesn't feel the need to speak them assumes.

 

[bento]

Maybe its time to institute a social contract.

A social contract is a written agreement between all parties as to what is being played, how it will be played, behaviors that will be tolerated, and what will be done if someone steps over the line. A social contract is a way to hash out assumptions and get everyone back on track.

You can read more about developing a social contract for a RPG group at this link:
http://www.treasuretables.org/wiki/index.php?title=Social_Contract

Good luck.