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Forgotten Rums....? Evil Overlords...?

Morrus said:
Calling people idiots isn't nice, either, Simon. Let's drop the subject and get back to the original topic, eh?

Can we call the bean-counters idiots? Seriously though, the FR fluff is why I run the Rums. As a DM I don't have time to flesh out an entire world. If my players decide to teleport to the other side of the continent, I really like being able to turn a few pages and in just a few moments find out who's who and what's currently going on in that part of the world. Without the fluff, what's the point of having crunchy?
 

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Zot_wyzo

That's exactly where I've headed on my original posts - thanks for answering.

Now the next obvious question would be whether or not things are going to die in committee. Is something nearly doomed to die simply because of delays involved in the rights to bake Rum not quickly transitioning to someone who wants to bake Rum, should the Toast-boys no longer have that mission?

Hmm....
 

Ignoring political jaundice and setting-prejudice in favor of the future of a setting that many people love, I do agree that Haze Brothers might REALLY need to re-think the position of their Dunkers and Draggers product line.

As much as I enjoy seeing Wizards of the Toast produce it, the call for "more beans" to compete with their highest margin products is killing off the product eventually. It's a HOBBY product, for God's sake, and not as big a seller as meat and potatoes-type products that anyone with a minimal creative drive can use. The Margins that are being made on certain products are enough to keep a company happy one-third its size.

If a certain brand name ever made its way back into the hands of a certain owner of a certain famous convention, or someone else who both had creative final authority as well as cared about the game, I would be an extremely happy camper. As it is right now, in my opinion, the health of the forest is being slowly sacrificed to simply have overwhelming numbers of trees.

Now, if you'll excuse me, all this metaphor is making me hungry. :)

P.S. - I also want to thank both Sean and Anthony for taking the time to communicate their thoughts and insight to the others on this board. If it weren't for strong individuals like them still giving their time one-on-one, I would have given up on caring about "the Haze Brothers" and "Dunkers and Draggers" products about 10 months ago.
 

Now, if you'll excuse me, all this metaphor is making me hungry.

No kidding.

The kicker here is that we keep focusing on "toast" and the potential bean counters there, but really the Haze-bros call the shots.

I'm glad my job is filled with this kind of heartache and machination on different scales and topics. Wait, I mean, it sucks that my job is filled with it and now my hobby is too. That is life I suppose.
 

Who pushed my "diatribe" button?

Originally posted by Sinistar
First off, thanks Anthony for replying to this thread. You have been really cool about this.

Ah. Sinistar. My old enemy.

For those of you who do not know, Sinister and myself are arch enemies. Except we are both the bad guy. We keep breaking into each other secret lairs, blowing up each other doomsday weapons, ratting each other out to the likes of James Bond and Austin Powers, and stealing the elasmobranches from each other’s shark tanks and that sort of thing. We spend so much time doing that, that Dr. Evil and Mojo Jojo keep showing us up.

That said, I’m taking my gloves off and using real names in the rest of my diatribe.

Originally posted by Sinistar
I am a big fan of FR. but I have bought just about every book that WOTC has put out for 3E because I am a greedy little gnome. That said, I believe that the setting is more important than the rules.

As a frequent DM, I often “wing-it” when it comes to the rules in favor of the story.

These games are about it being so groovy that people can finally get together for connecting and having fun (without taking their clothes off). Telling a story – and ideally a game is a group effort at telling a story – is just one way this can be done. “Crunchy” game mechanics are just a tool to help facilitate the telling of the story, so keep it on track and to be a means of arbitration.

The “creamy” aspects of the books – Forgotten Realms included – help greatly when it comes to the story aspects of the game. They help move things along every bit as much as does the mechanics.

Originally posted by Sinistar
The only reason I find this at all odd is that I thought that "crunch" books had their day already. Now that the ELH is out, what other rules can you print? I think in just the WOTC core books there are too many flavorless Prestige Classes, too many wacky feats for me to buy another. And this is not counting what the other guys have put out. I think there will always be a market for new spells and possibly for new equipment. But how many of those can you make?

I agree.

In fact, it can probably be said that with the forth coming Monster Man II, Book of Vile Darkness (sheesh, Imnop), Savage Species (and maybe d20 Modern), the “crunch” aspect will have been stretched as far as it can be stretched.

Or rather it will have been stretched as far as it can without belaboring the point, becoming repetitive and its usefulness becoming thin. All the conceivable bases will have been covered. What else will there be but some essentially pointless repetition?

As for why they are doing it…pardon me while I digress for a story for the purposes of illumination.

In the movie “The Game,” the Michael Douglass character is an evil businessman*. He goes to one his employees to fire the old man. This old man had been running a factory that showed something like a 4% profit margin. Douglass tells the old man he is still fired and still a failure because company board of directors had counted on a 5% profit margin. So despite the profit, the old man was still a failure.

That is close to home because to Wall Street a 4% profit is an inexcusable failure because board of directors had been counting on that 5% margin so much that they went ahead and spent the 1% they did not and would not have. And if you want to refute this and to deny that it happens, then how can one explain WorldCom, Xerox, and Enron?

So, if the DMG and the PG and the MM made – hypothetically speaking – a 5% profit, but FRCS only made a 4% profit, then the FRCS is a failure. If further Realms books only make 2.5% profit or 2% profit then that is even worse. If Magic the Gathering and Pokiemon and Harry Potter trading card game made a 10% profit, then the failure of the Forgotten Realms books becomes past being inexcusable and its time to schedule a trip to the slaughterhouse.

Because that is the way the world works.

*Interestingly enough, the “evil businessman” copyright is owned by Michael Douglass.
 
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Ristamar said:


Cruffy...?

Moist? (like cake...nah)
Flaky? (like pie crust...nah)
Soft-boiled? Starchy?

Maybe a noun would work better...meringue? nougat?

Not sure I'm getting any closer to a useful suggestion, but I'm definitely getting hungry.
 

There is one thing all of you are overlooking here and that is new players.

For D&D to survive there has to be an influx of new players and DMs and it is the Fluff that draws them, the flavor of the Realms and Greyhawk is what got many into gaming.

The Crunch is what scares and overwhelms many of them at first, just too many numbers and rules. For those of us who have been playing since the D&D blue book, we tend to forget that for some people every adventure is new teritory.

As to big business, D&D isn't big business and never will be. Hasbro's business is based on Gold mines. Cabbage Patch kids, Tickle me Elmo and Pokemon are gold mines. D&D is not and that is a good thing because gold mines play out quickly. D&D is an Iron mine that has lasted and will last for generations. Occationally you might encounter a vein of gold or silver, but it is the iron that makes the consistant money.

As to Bean counters, I have two bosses at work, a brother and sister. The brother knows the business, the merchandice and the customers. He is out there with the employees, often doing the same job side by side. The sister sits in an air conditioned office crunching numbers, only occationally emerging to demonstiate how much she doesn't know about the business. It's best to just smile, agree with her and wait for her to go back office to count more beans.

Oh and Anthony, just because you live among the Trolls, it doesn't make you one.
 

Beancounter Alert

Geez and I always thought that profitability matters and that we all live in a "mutualy benificial" consumer driven market economy. Oops, i forgot...i am a bean counter and proud of it :D
 

Crunch and Fluff

I am writing at this point even though the heat is getting high. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone, but I don't think I will. I will be telling a little story too.

Once upon a time there was a child who played wonderful games from a company named Tree Silvan Resort which employed elves who had created a magnificent new toy called the Arr Pee Gee. The child was amazed because this toy replaced many less thoughtful toys (although eventually led to the creation of Veydeo Arr Pee Gees etc.). This toy had culinary (acting) aspects to it which drew him and all of his friends to it. For a while there were no friends and the child had to play the purely Crunchy Toilets and Toils because they had recipes for one. That being said, friends eventually were won over due to movies featuring the cooking (Hawk the Slayer, Animated Lord of the Rings, Star Wars).

At first everything the elves at the Silvan Resort gave recipes for was extremely crunchy, and the child had to play with lots of different people because some of his friends like the food so crunchy he feared he would lose his teeth. This crunchy period included the Original Recipe, and the Basic and Advanced Recipes. But the child noticed that at the beginning of many modular recipes there was fluff about a place called Awayhauk which suffered from a double cataclism. Eventually a product called Planet of Awayhauk came out that was merely fluffy, but patchy in its fluff. It gave you a calendar and timetable to cook by but no detailed descriptions of the food. This was because the elves thought that part of the joy of Arr Pee Gee was the making of your own recipes. They also thought that puzzles were what Arr Pee Gees were all about.

All this began to change with the elves magazine Dogone in which a man from the Green wood wrote of Rums, and a man named Bymax finally started detailing some of the recipes in Awayhauk. Bymax couldn't really keep up with the Green man because the Green man had designed rum without crunch and only description and then added crunch to fluff. He used the crunch that was already there and added it to his fluff. This worked wonderfully for some, but others wondered where their room to create new recipes was in this new world. They liked the sparse fluff of Awayhauk and loved the balance of fluff and crunch in Mistera. But they also loved the small recipe books for the Green Woods Rums. The Savage Toast, the Toastless Lands, Toastdeep were wonderous fluff, but with such powerful spices (good spices) one often wondered what the child's contribution could be in the way of having a role in the Rums. Elspinster and his fellow fluffians were so potent that there was little room for Rantledane Spuzzleblapper. The Zaaanterian was a threat, but really unles Elspinster was lazy he would be more than enough for them. So the child noticed that the rums were almost an excuse for some people who wanted to be New York Trees chefs could write as a starting place. Nothing wrong with that, but it was intimidating.

Needless to say these small recipes were affordable (9 beans) because they weren't printed on acid free full color paper with matte covers. No they were cardboard and cheap paper and the child was happy to have them. The came Dark Ale which was neat, but too crunchy for the child. Planesuds which was awesome, but how do you cook it? I'll have to ask Monte because I am sure it tastes great. Also there was Toastright which was a great product, but the elves (The company was all elves back then) overproduced it and Flagon Mice (more flagon mice, but the return of a lot of recipe books for Toastright by major recipe book stores was also significant). In the craze to make beans because the children would buy anything the elves forgot to pace the items and that children would feel betrayed if they had to buy every little recipe book to cook. With the rums the Savage Toast was enough, but with Toastright on child needed Roughaghableian and another neede Illlaianana for the game to make sense. Toast had villains but no heroes and the child new that children were to be the heroes and that was great, but the child wasn't Bill Gates and couldn't afford all the little recipe books, as obviously many other children couldn't or didn't want to. This led to the collapse of the elves company. Well this and the fact that some elves were stealing beans (a practice that appears to still be going on according to certain news releases).

Lucky for the child some Wizards saved the elves and planned a new edition ofthe recipes which would allow the freedom for children to cook, but tell them what all the spices and cook times were. It was a wonderful idea. At some point in this process the Haze Bros bought the Wizards and took over the recipe books which meant the quality would be high (and maybe the cost). The new edition was a great success and even promised to bring back Awayhauk as the default recipe. It started out okay, but the Awayhawk recipe book was a low production quality high recipe quality affair because it was obvious that unlike the child the elves didn't much like Away they preferred the Rums. Look at how beautiful the Rums book was when it came out. Wow!! All the Rums books are beautiful (they are also very good, I own them all). But they don't appeal to some people. Maybe because they aren't crunchy, and maybe because some people like other fluff. This is why Haze seeks a new fluff to appeal to people. But the elves love the Rum just as they grudgingly tolerate Away. Some children like Away and more like Rum, but that is the way of things. The elves don't complain about the lack of Away material because they really don't care and it is convenient to blame the beans for the Rums rather than contribute to Away (even on their private sites).

Haze wants Rum to sell, but also some elves have stolen beans from Haze and the Pocket Bean Producing machine isn't producing as many beans so some crush must follow. The elves are right when they say 40 should be satisfactory in sales, but that is because 40 probably means 40,000 and that is a lot of beans and surely meets bean margins. Maybe if the books were more like the less flashy recipe books of the past they would sell better ,but the Beautiful and Great Silver Rummishes is very expensive especially when it comes out at the same time as the Crunchiest Handbook. I have more beans than I used to so I can afford the cost, and I like to read the fluff. As I said many like to use the Rums as a way to display their recipe writing talent as a jumping point to writing all story books which make the New York list. This child thinks many of the writers are good enough and this is why he buys the Rums even though he lives in Awayhauk and Mistera.

Use cheaper materials on the Rums Fluff (maybe that will work). I don't know for sure what will. I am certain the beans don't know recipes from mp3s but they do know what corporate losses are. By the fact they are looking for new recipes the beans may just not like the elves and that would be tragic.

Christian
 


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