Sleep
Web
Hold person
Polymorph Other
Maze
Just a few off the top of my head. Killing and incapacitating are not identical unless a thirst for blood is the primary motivator to every combat.
Non-lethal damage? Almost non-existent in 4E. 4E is about combat to the death. Every time.
PHB 295 said:Knocking Creatures
UnconsciousWhen you reduce a creature to 0 hit points or fewer, you
can choose to knock it unconscious rather than kill it.
Until it regains hit points, the creature is unconscious but
not dying. Any healing makes the creature conscious.
If the creature doesn’t receive any healing, it is
restored to 1 hit point and becomes conscious after a
short rest.
Milambus said:Or it could be... you know magic? =)
While non-lethal damage can be dealt at will (which is absurd in the fireball example) that doesn't stop the need to GRIND..............THROUGH..............EVERY.................HITPOINT. 
To paraphrase what you said here: "You're not playing the game right, which proves that 4e sucks"
Did you read the wizard's spells? Sleep comes to mind, and, if you are an orb wizard, it works for most of your career. (again, read the books)
How about web? Wizard Attack 5:
...
Wizard Utility 6: Wall of Fog
...
I'm not going to go through all the Wizard spells, but there are a few I thought of off the top of my head. Your basic gripe here seems to be that many status effecting spells only last until the end of your next turn or save ends, and therefor 4e magic = bad.
Have you even played 4e with a fighter? Attacks of Opportunity much? Rogues get to deal damage once per turn. Fighters should get at least one AoO every round; more if you are playing them correctly (that's the "multiple attacks per round per encounter part") .
Seriously, in the game I'm running there are two strikers (ranger and warlock) and even though they do more damge per hit than my DMPC fighter, my fighter does almost the same amount of damage overall since he tends to get at least one AoO per turn (usually 1-3).
"We are getting killed here, do something Wizard" "Ok, I'll use my Knock scroll to open this back door here so that we can run, oh, nevermind. I cannot use miscellaneous spells in combat, guess I'll use Scorching Burst yet again"
Did you read the wizard's spells?
There are 4 cantrips which are of extremely limited use.
There are 0 out of 5 At Wills that are not damage spells.
There are 3 out of 30 Encounters that are not damage spells (and Jump competes with Shield, so it's really 2 possible on any given day).
There are 21 out of 46 Dailies that are not damage spells.
So yes, the Wizard can do a few miscellaneous spells, the vast majority of them Dailies. But a fairly solid 90% or more of spells that are cast on any given day (since the Dailies can only be cast once and tend to be saved for when really needed anyway) for most Wizards will be damaging spells.
L.....C....A....E....D....U....PA...PU...EU...T.....ND....%........% - C
1.....4....2....1....1....0....0....0....0....8.....4.....50.0%....0.0%
2.....4....2....1....1....1....0....0....0....9.....5.....55.6%....11.1%
3.....4....2....2....1....1....0....0....0....10....5.....50.0%....10.0%
4.....4....2....2....1....1....0....0....0....10....5.....50.0%....10.0%
5.....4....2....2....2....1....0....0....0....11....5.....45.5%....9.1%
6.....4....2....2....2....2....0....0....0....12....6.....50.0%....16.7%
7.....4....2....3....2....2....0....0....0....13....6.....46.2%....15.4%
8.....4....2....3....2....2....0....0....0....13....6.....46.2%....15.4%
9.....4....2....3....3....2....0....0....0....14....6.....42.9%....14.3%
10....4....2....3....3....3....0....0....0....15....7.....46.7%....20.0%
11....4....2....3....3....3....1....0....0....16....7.....43.8%....18.8%
12....4....2....3....3....3....1....1....0....17....8.....47.1%....23.5%
13....4....2....3....3....3....1....1....0....17....8.....47.1%....23.5%
14....4....2....3....3....3....1....1....0....17....8.....47.1%....23.5%
15....4....2....3....3....3....1....1....0....17....8.....47.1%....23.5%
16....4....2....3....3....4....1....1....0....18....9.....50.0%....27.8%
17....4....2....3....3....4....1....1....0....18....9.....50.0%....27.8%
18....4....2....3....3....4....1....1....0....18....9.....50.0%....27.8%
19....4....2....3....3....4....1....1....0....18....9.....50.0%....27.8%
20....4....2....3....3....4....2....1....0....19....9.....47.4%....26.3%
21....4....2....3....3....4....2....1....0....19....9.....47.4%....26.3%
22....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....0....20....10....50.0%....30.0%
23....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....0....20....10....50.0%....30.0%
24....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....0....20....10....50.0%....30.0%
25....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....0....20....10....50.0%....30.0%
26....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....1....21....11....52.4%....33.3%
27....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....1....21....11....52.4%....33.3%
28....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....1....21....11....52.4%....33.3%
29....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....1....21....11....52.4%....33.3%
30....4....2....3....3....5....2....1....1....21....11....52.4%....33.3%
That's very true. My DM doesn't like to provoke OA's or go against my marks, at least so far... He treats the Paladin the same way. So, when we're in any sort of tight area, the two Defenders completely control the battlefield. We start taking on all comers and hold them to us.The fighter isn't guaranteed more damage. He EITHER does more damage or gets to force the monsters to make BAD decisions. When the monsters make bad decisions to avoid getting hit, they might live longer, but they will accomplish a lot less in their time on this earth.

(Dungeons & Dragons)
Rulebook featuring "high magic" options, including a host of new spells.