Fun Tricks with Useless Spells

[LeapingShark]

For a gag, place a visible Arcane Mark on somebody's forehead. No save and they are stuck with your personal symbol plastered on their face for a month.

 

[Gez]

That's something that I use IMC for exotic pets/familiar/bodyguard constructs/friends from alien dimensions.

You're a druid, and you want to go shopping in the Big City with Fluffy, your Dire Tiger companion? Fluffy will have to be examined by one of the Gate Mages for approval (mostly, making sure the beast is obedient and trained to not hunt peoples and pets), and if so, the Gate Mage will brand Fluffy's muzzle or flank with his own Arcane Mark.

If a potentially dangerous creatures roam in the city without a mark, the militia is duty-bound to intervene and capture or kill the menace... So, you'd better go check back the Gate Mages every months.

And what happens if Fluffy goes on a rampage nevertheless? Well, provided there's at least one surviving witness who remembers the mark, there's one Gate Mage that will have troubles with his boss... Because, as the one who let the creature enter, he's the one responsible for the creature's actions.

 

[Keeper of Secrets]

I whole-heartedly encourage my players to come up with clever things to do with their spells. Usually, I will allow almost any trick to pass at least once. If it is too obscene or a VERY liberal reading of the spell I will let them get away with it and then make a 'Nevermore' ruling which would never allow that spell to be used in that way again.

 

[domino]

Interestingly, I might not allow it to work, either, but by opposite reasoning: I think mending would restore the writing. If you mend an illuminated book, it doesn't erase it, does it?

A syntax error on my part. I was including erasing the words as part of the damage, not as an example of how it would be mended. My fault.

 

[henk-thokk]

here are a few tricks I have learned.

From a previous post I looked at, I got the idea to cast light on someone's eyes, therefore possibly blinding that creature.

Use mage hand with a feather that you carry around (for some weird reason) and tickle someone below the nose making them lose their concentration or worse

Use mage hand with some sand and make it blow into someone's eyes.

These will only work if your DM agrees and many might not, but they are good ideas. There are many uses for Mage Hand. I love that spell

 

[Savage Wombat]

Could you use "Bestow Curse" to make someone infertile?

If so, sell the spell as 100% guaranteed birth control.

 

[Jeff Wilder]

I would think that restoring ink to a damaged page would require 2 uses of mending.

Would you rule that it would take two uses of mending to restore the glaze to a broken piece of crockery?

IMO, a "document" is a different object than a "sheet of parchment," and mending would repair the document.

Actually, as I reread the spell, I'm not sure it would repair "wear" damage at all. It seems to be intended as a substitute for super-glue, not as a true restorative spell.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

Would you rule that it would take two uses of mending to restore the glaze to a broken piece of crockery?

Depends on my mood and how well the player justified their intended use of the spell.

Usually, the glaze is part of what makes the pottery pottery. The paper was paper before anyone wrote on it. The ink is a subsequent addition to the paper- not integral to its "paperness," "paperosity," or "papertude."

But, assuming you rule that "document" is different from "paper," what is to stop the player from targeting the paper and not the document?

Its actually important: If you can't distinguish between them, then you can't use mending to repair a vase if some vandal etched "Killraven Was Here" on it. Conceptually, its no different from writing on parchment- and believe me, there are vases with words intentionally etched upon them.

Damage is in the heart of the vandal, in a sense.

 

[demiurge1138]

I had a player who wanted to sell hits of Owl's Wisdom. The idea, of course, is that most drugs sell on supposedly being able to expand the user's horizons and make them comprehend the world better. Now, with Owl's Wisdom, this is actually true. He thought that he could easily have a populace willing to pay him a lot of money for just one more glimmer of understanding More.

I think he had a point.

Demiurge out.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

A less ethical person might use Cat's Grace or Bull's Strength (or both) to fix competitions he's betting on...

If he's REALLY sophisticated at corruption, he'd cast the spell on both participants and bet on the favorite (after letting someone know that the underdog has been...enhanced).