Funniest Moments

[Kormydigar]

I was sitting here bored at my computer screen, when i had an epiphany. Why not ask the really experienced players what some of the funniest moments in their gaming careers were? And surely some of the newer players would have something to contribute as well.....i may be new but i know D&D is all about the funny moments (among other things). So heed my call, my minions, and join my thread, and make it epic in its notoriety......

In a GURPS Conan game some time ago, we found ourselves shipwrecked on an island without much food to be found. There were five Pc's and no one had much in the way of survival skills. One member of our group was a necromancer and had a zombie servant with him. He made a suggestion that cracked up the whole group. " Why don't I just send my zombie into the water and go crabbing"..........................As much as we all laughed it worked.

 

[Terraism]

I was running a game a while back, fairly low level. The characters - a psionic warrior, a paladin, a rogue and a ranger. They ran afoul of some pixies, and were knocked unconscious (sleep arrows) when they got fed up and attacked. They woke up the next morning in a clearing, viciously pranked. The all had rope "neckties" on, the ranger had his undergarmets on the outside, the psionic warrior had his robes hanging from a tree (leaving him in very little.) The tomboy rogue was in a frilly pink dress, and the paladinhad his pants belted around his ankles. Everyone is going about righting themselves, and the player of the paladin summarizes it as "I pull up my pants and take off my collar." Dead silence for a moment, and then the entire room burst into peals of laughter. Took him a while to get it; it comes up far more often than he'd like nowadays.

 

[corcio]

regular non magically trapped wooden doors

well i was running my first adventure with some friends. things were going fairly well. the group comes to a door which is just a regular door and its unlocked. (piece of cake for any rouge) they immediatly suspect the door of being a fanatical evil fiendish death trap. so first the magic user in the group is called upon to cast detect magic on the door. i think ...ok sure that makes sense... so i just straight up tell them its not magical...its just a regular wooden door.

the fighter in the group screams " I BET ITS A TRAP" so the rouge comes up and inspects the door.....rolls....again i say...."theres nothing.....its just a regular wooden door"

the fighter again screams. "LOOK THROUGH THE KEY HOLE"

ok rouge rolls again....you see a room with some crates and barrels and a weapon rack....

fighter screams "BREAK IT DOWN"

i just look at him and say..."its just a door"
fighter rolls... and busts a hole in the door
cleric says "ill cast detect magic through the hole"

me "again theres no magic...its just a regualr door with a room full of stuff"

so eventually they break the door down....enter the room which has a few decent weapons in it.......they all do searches.....find everything.....and take only one regular longsword....
then go running off down the hall to another door.......

 

[StupidSmurf]

OK, I don't know how well this will translate into a post, but this happened two sessions ago. This may be one of those "You had to be there and see it," but I'll give it a go.

The party was at The Phantom Knight Inn in Everlund (Silver Marches, Forgotten Realms), and they met a favorite NPC of mine, a gnome 5th level Rogue/5th level Bard/5th level Jester. After a few bad jokes to the audience ("What's worse than a near-sighted beholder? A hydra with a headache! Ba-dump-bump!"), he joined the party for a drink. The party has a gnome in it, a worshipper of Gond. Now, bear in mind, gnomes are supposed to have these overly long names.

The exchange that made everyone crack up went something like this:

Marmoran (cleric of Talona): "So...what are YOU called?"
NPC: "I am ChuckoblottoTarquinwimbimlimberstopftangftangolebiscuitbarrelAssclown the Fourth!" :::looks over at the player character gnome::: "Ah! A fellow member of the Forgotten Folk! And pray, brother, what's YOUR name?"
Piter (the gnome): Piter Von Fizzle.
NPC: ::leans forward expectantly, waiting for the rest of the name. A few seconds of awkward silence ensues, then everyone cracks up as I'm sitting there, in character, leaning forward, eager look on my face, eyes bugged out, wide open-mouthed grin, waiting for the rest of the name::
Piter: Umm..that's it.
Chucko: :::looks over at Piter as if he's deformed or something::: I...see.

 

[Storyteller01]

Me, the GM: You're surrounded by 12 Military Police armed with shotguns. What do you do?

The Half Orc: I Intimidate them...


Another fine moment (or 'Why men shouldn't play female characters'):

An older group I was with had been playing an adventure in dungeon mag. The back story: pixies stole something from a wizard, so he got even by leaving behind a Well of Worlds... without instructions. After much chaos, a biker eventually comes though. To make him feel at home, the pixies act out paradies of being a biker (you have to see it to believe it).

After all is said and done we have an oil that, if spread on the biker, will send him home. Problem: one of the players decided to be cute earlier and traumatize the biker. Needless to say, he's less that cooperative.

The solution: We had a swan may in the party. After getting his attention she had to 'help' him spread the oil. My friend never lived that one down...

 

[StupidSmurf]

I was running a game a while back, fairly low level. The characters - a psionic warrior, a paladin, a rogue and a ranger. They ran afoul of some pixies, and were knocked unconscious (sleep arrows) when they got fed up and attacked. They woke up the next morning in a clearing, viciously pranked. The all had rope "neckties" on, the ranger had his undergarmets on the outside, the psionic warrior had his robes hanging from a tree (leaving him in very little.) The tomboy rogue was in a frilly pink dress, and the paladinhad his pants belted around his ankles. Everyone is going about righting themselves, and the player of the paladin summarizes it as "I pull up my pants and take off my collar." Dead silence for a moment, and then the entire room burst into peals of laughter. Took him a while to get it; it comes up far more often than he'd like nowadays.

Hey Terraism! I like your name! The only other time I've actually heard someone use the word "Terraism" is when a player in my campaign talked to another gamer and described certain things that keep consistently popping up in all of my campaigns.

Sample "Terraisms", at least according to my group:

1. One certifiable nutjob/eccentric NPC.
2. At least one rock/punk/alternative music reference, be it an NPC name or part of a riddle. (latest example, a female halfling named Tessie Dropkicker).
3. One extremely powerful NPC/monster that briefly shows up but has no real contact with the party, but is something the party can "work up towards" in levels, so to challenge it later.
4. A "Back door" that can blow the current scheme wide open, if people are clever enough to find it.
5. One extremely cool inn populated with wicked interesting NPCs.

Hmmm...sounds like a decent idea for a topic...recurring characteristics in each of our campaigns?

 

[Nemigar]

I have several, but here's my favorite.

AD&D campaign, many years back, the party is in a dungeon of some sort and fighting giant lizards. A lizard looks poised to attack Hal, who pipes up (he had a *very* high pitched voice), 'Maybe it attacks John instead?' The DM obliges by rolling a die, and sure enough, determines that the lizard attacks the lightly armored John, instead of the plate-mail wearing Hal.

It gets worse... the lizard rolls a 20 on its attack. The DM used his a homemade 'critical damage' table, and determined by a second roll that this meant 'double damage'. John begins to fume, he's almost certainly toast now.

Worse yet... DM looks up the monster in the Monster Manual, and notes that the lizard does double damage on any attack that rolls a 20! So, he decides this means 4x damage. John is *definitely* toast, now; DM rolls damage, John is very dead, and quite annoyed with Hal at this point. He is only mollified by the knowledge that we can get him raised from the dead back home.

The lizard is looking for another victim, and Hal is closest. DM is preparing to move the lizard to attack Hal, who again pipes up a line that has become classic amongst our group, still remembered and oft-quoted after about 25 years:

"Does it stop to feed?"

 

[sniffles]

I keep a record of funny in-game quotes these days, but of course I can't remember most of them off the top of my head.

But one that regularly gets repeated occurred several years ago in a RuneQuest campaign. The GM was describing some bison-riders who were attacking the party, and stated that one of the bisons was doing a "rear and plunge" maneuver.

Unfortunately *all* of the players misheard him. We all thought he said "rear-end plunge".

 

[Gorilla726]

One of my players was playing a Cleric who almost had a nervous breakdown because he thought he had broken his vows of not using an edged weapon when he "fastball special"ed a halfing weilding a short sword at a bear that was attacking us. It was kind of cool. I, the DM, decided that "Halflings are not edged weapons."

Gorilla

 

[Percivellian]

Not overly hilarious, but we had a good chuckle:

We were at the climax of this 3-episode, 12th level campaign, fighting a party of Shades atop this mountain during an eclipse. Very tough fight. My fighter went down early in the combat (but not before offing the Shade fighter) but only to about -2hp initially. The combat was still very much going on over top and around my unconscious body (the party healer, a Mystic Theurge was unconscious as well, unfortunately), so I had quite a few rounds to see if I stopped losing hitpoints...

On about the sixth round of failing my % rolls, I blurted out in frustration, "Dammit! I can't stabilize to save my life!"

It didn't strike me that is was more a literal statement than an idiom until after And yes, my fighter died, in the second last round of the fight