Funny spell names

[Mark Chance]

Detect Pairs and Snits: For locating couples who are arguing.

Mordenkainen's Petticoat Junction: Hubba, hubba.

Whap the Pee Pee:

Elvis's Hunk-a-hunk of Burning Love: Thank ya, thank ya very much.

Tenser's Slipped Disc: Ouch!

Delayed Blast Hairball: ACK! ACK! HORK!

Otto's Irresistible Pants: They're just to die for!

Drawmij's Instant Pudding: Mmmm...pudding.

Leomund's Hairy Chest: And back, too.

Leomund's Homeless Shelter: Includes a soup line and a cot.

Leomund's Tiny Butt: Unfortunately, Otto's Irresistible Pants make this one look big.

Leomund's Speed Trap: Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?

Melf's Acid Trip: Whoa, man, there's like a road map on my hand.

Mind Frog: Good at jumping to conclusions.

Mordenkainen's Liposuction: The less said, the better.

Remove Hair: Counters Leomund's Hairy Chest.

Bigby's Exploring Digit: Material component is a rubber glove.

Summon Muenster: The orange rind is edible.

Summon The Munsters: Complete with cool theme song!

Summon Punster: The lowest form of comedian.

Yes, you all may bow before me now!

 

[rushlight]

One of my players is working on a spell to shift blame for anything that should occur to him. He calls it Gunther's Irrefutable Alibi.

Some of the best actual spell names are in a spell compendium put out by I believe Green Ronin. They added the spells from Rites and Rituals by WW, but changed the names. Truly uninspired name changes, like the spell Flame On...

 

[Wippit Guud]

Detect Life 1/2 - somatic component, place two fingers on target's carotid artery
Neutralize Poison 1/2 - somatic compoent, place index finger down target's throat, only worgs for type ingested poisons
Wish 1/2 - verbal compoment, similar to 'I wish my mother in law would just die'

Forget the rest of the 1/2 spells...

Tasha's Unconrollable Projective Vomiting
Bigby's Bitchslap
Melf's Hour Meteors
Comprehend Politics
Mage Underpants
Dwamarj's Instant Coffee
Cone of Coldsores
Mordenkainen's Pen (it's mightier than his sword)

 

[Wippit Guud]

My two favorite Wild mage spells:

Nahal's Reckless DwOHGOODGODHE'SCASTINGIT,DUCK!
Reset Button (name for Alternate Reality)

 

[Mustrum_Ridcully]

Detect Fire (Range: Touch)

 

[Christian]

Forget the rest of the 1/2 spells...

Never!

Summon Monster 1/2
Material component: a big hunk of raw meat and a bag of platinum pieces.
Verbal component: "Oh, what shall I do? I've wandered into this dungeon with this big hunk of meat and a bag of platinum pieces, and I didn't even bring my sword or armor ..."

 

[Bleys]

Yacht To the Head (spell created by a player in an Amber game I ran years ago )

And from Munchkin d20 (and I apologize if I got the wrong wording, but you'll get the drift )

Bigby's Unwelcome Touch

 

[grimslade]

Behold the bowel shaking power of
SUMMON EXCREMENTAL!

Can be countered with Leomunds Secure Port-a-John

Grim

 

[Verdigris]

These posts are too funny. I'm liable to get fired if I laugh too loudly in the middle of this moldy ol' archive.

Here are my humble contributions:

disrobe undead

tasha's hideous splatter

mage toe

endure Republicans

summon banana peels (I actually used this in place of "Grease")

Nystul's Self-Important Aura

Melf's Acid Wit

Leomond's Flaming Stool (not the kind of stool you'd want to step on)

vibrating beer

summon Linda Tripp

detect easel (a Van Gogh favorite)

 

[blackshirt5]

Calvadien's Vicious Junk Kick