Gamer Grrls

[Buttercup]

Chaos Kitten, I'm posting this after reading your initial post, and nothing more. The discussion may have ranged far and wide since then, but I thought you deserved a quick response.

I haven't had the problems you mention, though plenty of women who have posted here over the years have reported them.

I've played online, both as a DM and a player, and never had this sort of issue. Then I started DMing a PnP game in late 2000, and I haven't had any problems there either. Perhaps as DM, I wouldn't be as likely to run into those issues, or perhaps it's because all the people I play with were friends first. I've been playing in a PnP game for some months now, and haven't been made to feel uncomfortable, though I can't imagine the DM would allow anyone to pull that sort of crap. Mind you, there have been some bawdy moments, but they weren't hateful or abusive, and they were ligitimate methods of dealing with the situation we (the PCs) found ourselves in. We all laughed our heads off.

I've been perplexed by the fact that women gamers get mistreated in-game. I genuinely don't understand why guys would do it. What fun could it possibly be? I hear frequent laments about how there aren't enough women in gaming, yet some contingent, however small, evidently can't control their testosterone poisoning long enough to behave like humans for the few hours they sit at the gaming table. It's weird.

You have my sympathy, Chaos Kitten. However, I think you should find another group to play with, because I promise you that not all gaming groups treat women badly.

 

[heimdall]

If their behavior doesn't improve, find another group. You don't need that kind of abuse.

I have a female gamer in my D&D game. She plays a female high-elven fighter. That's where the stereotype ends. In the game the other players refer to her as "boss," "chief," and other titles of respect. Why? Because of all the characters, she is the damage dealing monster wielding a keen adamantine greatsword and has earned her spot as the party leader. When she levels that stare of hers, the other characters jump to her orders. And this is a very disfunctional party (in character, not out) who rarely agrees on anything. As you can tell by my description, in character she receives the same respect as a male half-orc barbarian would. As a player she is treated the same as any other by everyone in the group.

If the way you're being treated is affecting your enjoyment level (and based on what you've described it would bother me as well), it's time to find a new game if they aren't willing to shape up in a hurry.

 

[Sugarmouse]

You are all delusional. There is no such thing as a female gamer!

OK, joking aside.

Unfortunately, I play in an all male group. In general all female npcs are beautiful goddess', to satisfy some of the baser urges in the majority of players. It is escapism for us (yes, I am a part of it.) The oldest player is mid 30's with a steady and truly ironclad relationship, and the youngest a 22 yo with a Casanova complex. I myself am just into my late 20's with no girlfriend, ever (and except for the occasional pang am not too fussed about it.) Need more be said?

That is not to say that the female pcs are incapable as participants (heck, a minor BBEG (if there is such a thing) in the last game I ran was modeled on Jessica Alba, and managed to entice the straightlaced Jedi Consular to the darkside without giving away that she was a Sith.) Indeed, I use the the gamers perceptions against them whenever I GM.

However, back to the topic at hand. I have never gamed with a female gamer, other then in a PBEM or PBMB, but I have been given to understand that the attitude on the table changes for the better, if the group is mature enough.

To provide an example of a negative attitude: Some years agao, another friend of mine was playing with an all male group, when a female player was invited to join. The party took it upon themselves to assault and kill the PC, thrice, with her last incarnation as a male PC. That is truly a disturbed and wrong attitude to take to the table.

My disjointed two cents on this discussion.

 

[Buttercup]

Out of game I've been told that, "Female characters should always dress sexy in games. It's what they do. It's entertaining for the rest of us".

If someone said that to me, I'd knee them in the groin. It gets the point across in a way that can't be mistaken.

 

[Elrik_DarkFury]

This post has been deleted.
Go look elsewhere for stupid persons and posts.
SHoooOO
ShooOOO
______________
Elric the Wizard

 

[Buttercup]

If that shock u then u should definately take a look at the small but potend number....

Elrik, may I ask you a couple of things? I mean no offense by them. 1. Is English not your first language? 2. How old are you?

 

[Ottergame]

In the group I am playing in, we have a "no girls allowed" policy. I like it. >

 

[maddman75]

Hey, no offense Elrik - just a kneejerk actually. Every time a gamer girl posts her pic on a message board you get hordes of fools that she's never going to meet drooling over her. Gets old is all. Just a bit of humor...and they can't all be gems.

 

[Kastil]

I haven't had a real bad experience. Of course I started playing with my parents of all things. Now days I'm exclusively an online player. No more blurry-eyed drives home that way.

The gentlemen I game with are a very respectful lot. OF coruse they know they can kid around with me and I'll not take it too seriously. I've been around too many cub scouts campfires for that.

 

[Elrik_DarkFury]

As you may have noticed, my english are not so good -althought i m really trying to work this out(of course english is not my first lunguage).I can understand complex "technical" text but sometimes i know i miss the meaning of rather simple phrases of idioms.(the cause of the previous misunderstanding was different thought-u may call it bad timing because i was not in a great mood by the time i saw your reply and u paid for it hehehe.)
This can lead into stupid misunderstundings(such as the previous one) and rather defensive behavior(such as the previous one).
I am a very proud person (not for nothing i hope) and the experience of not beeing completely able to understand things as easy as in "real" life scares me a lot!
Madman75 i am really sorry. I didn't "get" it (Oh Lord, this sucks and i am definately not the kind of person who tells this : "I didn't get it", stupid ,ork-like thing easily)).
Sorry again.
-However i am new around (told u, 18. -at the first year of university as a civil engineer so its only about six-seven months since i really started lurking around) and i didn't know what happens when one of the hundred, no, billions of pretty girls who lurk around posts a foto of her.
Butter-cup i hope i somehow mend the terrible picture u must have of me ok?
I don't bite anymore -i am safe .
Do u mind if i edit my last post into a blanc,because i feel really stupid now .

________________
The Wizard