Gamer Grrls

[wizardneedsfood]

I know one girl gamer that I've had any experience with her playstyle. She always plays gnome druids or sorcerers and has a huge obsession with using huge powerful spells to blow things up. Now that's what I call breaking the stereotype.

 

[Wraith Form]

Maybe it is because they grew up on artwork that only showed half naked female adventurers. * Yes I am being snide*

I'm not being defensive when I write this, but let's face it--I didn't choose the cover of ___(insert gaming product that features half-dressed females here)___. Despite having a very [very] healthy libido, I would never suggest that depiction of women on cover art, in all honesty.

Besdies, double-D's aren't that common--and let's face it...if they were suspended by a chainmail bikini, that boobie-junk would be swinging around the herione's belly-button.

Chaos Kitten, you might try the radical approach my friend's wife took: she's the DM! Let's just say, we tend to behave ourselves for fear that "God" will kill us..!

Personally, I really enjoy having both genders in a gaming group--just the mere presence of a woman tends to "raise the bar" as to what kind of behavior is acceptable. Besides, women role-play better (in my opinion)!

 

[Wraith Form]

Just tell them, that this behaviour offends you, and you will stop playing with them, if they cannot put it to rest and just see you at an equal level. Bye Thanee

Yeah, you tell 'em, Thanee!

(By the way, if that's really your picture you're HOT.)



JOKE! JUST KIDDING! HA HA! Using irony, get it? (Dodges the fruit being hurled my way.)

 

[NewJeffCT]

Besdies, double-D's aren't that common--and let's face it...if they were suspended by a chainmail bikini, that boobie-junk would be swinging around the herione's belly-button.

Please, just about every woman in every D&D world is at least a DD. The ones that aren't are those slim, petite elf girls that come in at a mere 32D.

(I'm just joking)

 

[BecketVelar]

Welcome as a fellow lurker.

OK Live Journal Alert.

My group(s) have been very interesting in the last 7 or so years. We have a lot of female gamers. Most were girlfriends of at least one of the male gamers. Some went with the sultry stereotype...others were of the arse kicking variety. All were treated with respect by the majority of the males. When a young'un(in mind or body) joins the group he/she quickly learns he/she has as much to fear from the females of the pack as the males....if not more in some cases. We are more like family I guess.
The women play all manner of games...running the gammut from rifts to gurps to white wolf to D20. The women run games. The most talented mini painter in the group is my best friends wife. She also plays a viscious fighter. My Fiancee plays many roles from fighter to mage....male to female. She plays the sexy scientist who has the lecherous flaw in gurps....and she uses it for story to twist male npcs and pcs like straw in the wind. Most have played with Bad GMs or Bad groups but finally they found solace with us.

Chaos you need to tell the children to grow up a bit a realise that they behavior could get them in trouble if other females were playing....they could find themselves wearing the old leather loincloth and treated as a piece of meat. The DM could change the whole thing around by having them run into a strictly Matriarchal Society (the Drow?). Just my 2 pieces of copper.

B

 

[NewJeffCT]

But, in all seriousness, I've been gaming for a good 25 years now and have unfortunately had very limited experience with female gamers (and I'm a fairly normal, clean cut guy with a wife & 16 month old daughter)... the last time we had a female gamer in our group, she was the only female among a group of 10 people. She was the girlfriend of one of the guys (they are now married). I think 4 or 5 of the guys have normal social lives (girlfriends or wives), while the other 5 or 4 were, um, not used to being around women, to put it politely.

However, we ended up really doing well as a group, as this woman (quite attractive in real life) kind of inspired the 'guys' to try to act heroically in game and to at least sometimes cut out the intraparty bickering and indecisiveness. (nothing like looking indecisive in front of a babe) And, except for 1 test player that lasted 2-3 sessions, everybody treated her with a lot of respect, both in and out of game. (the test guy probably had never talked to a woman other than his mom and made our 1 female gamer uncomfortable with his leering at her...)

So, I'm sorry to see Chaos has a problem with her group, though, but I would have to say that every group is different and don't let one experience get you down & frustrated.

 

[StalkingBlue]

Out of game I've been told that, "Female characters should always dress sexy in games. It's what they do. It's entertaining for the rest of us".

I'd laugh out loud and tell them to entertain me with their characters' appearance and behaviour and I'd consider it.

The first sessions they were also incredibly surprised I was actually effective and knew what I was doing in battle. They actually asked who wrote my character for me. I felt so offended.

The first few sessions? So that dumb little prejudice has crumbled in the light of your performance, has it? Good. Forget it and move on.

Also in game they feel this overwhelming need to revealing clothes in her bag. I wouldn't mind if it was just a funny part of the roleplaying dynamic of the group, but it feels like more than that with the out of game vibe.

How do you respond to it? Do you give her revealing clothing? Do you refuse and look offended? Do you let them see you're distressed by their attitude?

How many of the other players are 'they'? What's the DM's role in this, how do NPCs in the world react to females in general and to your PC specifically?

I have been sticking with it and trying to make them see the errors of their ways. They are all college age guys and I thought they would know better, but I guess you do meet all types. Maybe one day the angelic chorus will sing and they will see the light. I'll wish upon a whole constellation that that day comes soon.

Angelic chorus? You know, if you want things to change, you gotta take action.

There've been a whole lot of suggestions in this thread that you could try.

Start quipping about their characters' physical impressiveness (or lack thereof). Talk to the DM if he/she is one of the non-immature ones. Get the non-immature players on your side if there are any. If there are none, go and find another group. If you're feeling particularly devious, start looking around for another group while you retire your PC in your current game and replace her with a male character.

Also, as others have already suggested, consider running your own game - that's the best way to ensure you're playing only with people you actually want to have at the table.

 

[Cerubus Dark]

Saying they are of college age could simply mean ‘fresh out of high school’ and, if my memory serves, the majority of guys that played D&D in high school never had a girlfriend.

Dang it, are you picking on me too!

*stands on a soap box*
Yes, I play D&D.
Yes, I am a single guy.
Yes, I am looking for a girlfriend.
No, I will not give up my hobbies to be more "cool".

Now repeat after me,
"Female gamers may wear chain mail bikinis to games only if the guys will wear one too!"

Hehe, sad thing is I think the two women in my group would agree to that just for giggles.

 

[randomling]

Hiya, Chaos Kitten.

I'm going have to to chime in with the "take action!" crowd. Whether your action takes the form of playing them at their own game, sitting down and having a talk with the group, or just leaving will have to be down to you, as you can probably best assess how they'd react - but in your position, just sitting there and doing nothing would drive me crazy.

When I started playing D&D, I was in a gaming group with a number of very immature young men who had a very similar attitude to some of the guys you're gaming with. I never had out-and-out "your character should dress sexy" comments, but I recall being called "wench" and so forth for my first couple of months in the group. I eventually cajoled them out of it, but the sexism came out again when I tried DMing a year later - they couldn't handle a female DM at all, made life as difficult for me as possible (I'd said no human characters and two players made human PCs) and generally drove me nuts. I cheerfully left the group after three weeks' DMing, all other options were exhausted by that point.

If your DM isn't part of the sexist crowd, I'd suggest talking to him as a first resort. If he is, it's quite a bit more difficult, but you'll probably still need to start with the DM and work out from there.

Good luck!

 

[Lu Wei Fong]

Ok, I feel like I've got to defend the "immature" "fresh out of high school guys" a bit here I DM a group of 8 players (who are rarely all there). I am "Fresh out of High school", and all the players are either fresh out or still in high school. 5 of the players are guys and 3 are girls (and one of the guys plays a girl... half-orc... druid with old-man's beard growing on her face... who the old sky elf -our only character death- had a huge crush on... ) Anyways, I would like to point out that aside from the obvious joking around and having fun, it is an incredibly mature group who doesn't even make an issue of gender. In fact, one of the girls plays a wood-elf fighter with a strength score of 20 (at level 4) who can push or drag 2,000 lbs. She seriously just wades through the enemies, it's almsot funny to watch (and infuriating to try and challenge, as a DM ) The best part is, no one cares one whit about gender, they just have a good time
Anyways, some people have been pointing to your gaming groups' age as the reason for their immaturity, and yet we're a large group of that age who's very mature. It's the same thing as generalizing all guys as sexist or all girls as sex nymphs. My point is this: lots of people love making generalizations and lumping huge groups of people under those generalizations without even knowing them. Everyone is different, and that's the most important thing to remember when dealing with them. You happened to meet some guys who sound like sexist jerks. Please don't let that color your opinion of the whole sex (not implying that you are ). There's plenty of mature, respectful people out there, of all ages and geners and colors and sizes and hair styles and fashions and so on, it's just a matter of finding them
Best of luck to you!