RPG Evolution: Game Cancelled, Now What?

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Picture courtesy of Pixabay.

The cancellation of your regular tabletop gaming session can have a surprisingly significant psychological impact on players, and it certainly affects me as game master. There's no single word to summarize the disappointment in missing a game, which is why I turned to other languages for help.

Meet Fernweh​

One possible candidate is Fernweh, a German word that describes a longing for distant places or experiences. In the context of a cancelled game, Fernweh seems apt: a longing for the imagined adventures, shared stories, and camaraderie that's part of the tabletop gaming experience.

Longing to game most often manifests as disappointment and frustration when you can't play, ranging from a mild sense of letdown to a more intense feeling of frustration, especially if the cancellation was unexpected, poorly communicated, or due to circumstances beyond your control. If you invested significant time and effort in preparing for the game (creating characters, planning strategies, clearing schedules, etc.), the disappointment can be even more pronounced.

Cancelling is bad enough, but for long-term campaigns, the cancellation can feel like a genuine missed visit to a vacation destination. Long-term gamers can developed strong emotional connections to their characters and the shared narrative. For these games, it's not just disappointment; the cancellation can be depressing too, particularly if the campaign is a way to blow off steam during a particular tough week. If the cancellation is permanent, the Fernweh can turn into grief.

Emotional Damage​

Missing a game is rough, and because tabletop play typically lasts several hours, you might find yourself with more time on your hands than you anticipated. I know I expeirence restlessness and struggle doing something else after I planned for the game; as a game master, I prepare myself mentally to role-play, organize my time, and get ready to "get into character." So it's perhaps unavoidable that I end up feeling a general sense of malaise. Even if I do switch gears, I don't necessarily enjoy other activities as much.

Beyond the disruption, RPGs provide a vital social outlet, potentially the only one for busy adults. The cancellation can disrupt these social connections, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially if the game is the only time you get to see your friends.

How to Cope​

It's taken me a while to acknowledge this even happens. "It's only a game" does a disservice to the emotional investment in time commitments we all pour into our games. It’s okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or even sad when a game is cancelled.

Open communication with the gaming group is also crucial. Discussing the cancellation and understanding the reasons behind it can help to alleviate some of the frustration, particularly if the cancellation was due to miscommunication.

Finding alternative outlets for engagement with the hobby can help too. This could involve playing other games (there is an entire genre of beer-and-pretzels games that have sprung up when there are too few players to play a tabletop role-playing game, but enough to still play a game together), reading gaming-related books or articles, watching streams or podcasts, or engaging in online discussions with other gamers. And of course, game masters can work ahead so they have more content for future games.

Finally, you can always just do something else: pursuing other hobbies, spending time with friends and family (outside of the gaming group), exercising, or simply engaging in relaxing activities like reading or listening to music. Prioritizing self-care, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and practicing relaxation techniques, can also help too so the game isn't the only therapeutic outlet.

It's tough when a game is cancelled, and I'm still working through how to deal with how disruptive it is both to my schedule and my emotions. But odds are high it will happen more than once, so having mitigation strategies before a game is cancelled can go a long way to help you cope.

Still sucks though.

Your Turn: What do you do when your game is cancelled (besides not play)?
 

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Michael Tresca

Michael Tresca

When someone cancels, we tend to just not play that week. A change might be when my son is home from college and one of the others cancels, then we might play a side game with some other PCs. Right now my campaign has some main PCs who are 10th level and some 'henchmen' PCs who are 3rd level. We play the 3rd level PCs when we need a side quest or break from the higher level stuff. It is easier for me to throw some stuff together for one night of play and leave the main campaign alone. Same if another player shows up and wants to play one night only.

If we are already at the playing location and one player cancels last minute, then we might play cards or cribbage or something. We might play D&D, but likely end up talking for an hour and then just go home.
 

Honestly? As a player, it's a minor nuisance, I never lack interesting things to do (quite the opposite, I lack the time to do them all). If I was the DM, I have certainly spent too much time preparing so cancelling bothers me a bit if it's done at the last moment, because before next time I'm sure I will spend the same time again.
 

<insert meme>
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
</insert meme>
;)

These days we play remote on a Sunday morning/afternoon. If they cancel early, I can sleep in!

I still want to look for a fun boardgame we can play online that's good for three players for those days when we just want to chat/hangout online and play a game for when one of us can't make it. Or maybe set up a one shot for a simpler game (like Mothership)...

The last few months I've 'cancelled', pretty much said no D&D for me until I've finished buying a house and be done moving. I indicated that I had no issues if they continued playing the campaign. What happened is that they did a side-quest with new PCs while I was gone, Sunday my first session back. 🥳🎉
 

I can apply this to a total loss of gaming. I've basically given up and called it quits in the last few years, and tried to find other adjacent hobbies to fill that void, like painting minis, playing more video games, and listening to more music. Sadly, that longing never really goes away, but the anxiety, frustration and disappointment are far more manageable now. Seems like a fair trade.
 

Depends on my role in the game. If a player, probably just some other leisure activity to fill the time. As GM, ill put that time to use prepping for a game or thinking more deeply on it for when the next session arrives and try to stay ahead of the game so im better suited to running sessions when they do go off without a hitch.
 

<insert meme>
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE!
</insert meme>
;)

These days we play remote on a Sunday morning/afternoon. If they cancel early, I can sleep in!

I still want to look for a fun boardgame we can play online that's good for three players for those days when we just want to chat/hangout online and play a game for when one of us can't make it. Or maybe set up a one shot for a simpler game (like Mothership)...

The last few months I've 'cancelled', pretty much said no D&D for me until I've finished buying a house and be done moving. I indicated that I had no issues if they continued playing the campaign. What happened is that they did a side-quest with new PCs while I was gone, Sunday my first session back. 🥳🎉
I see what you see what I did there. 😉
 

Life happens. Think about all the games that COVID cancelled.

It's weird that the only time one might see their friends is when gaming. Friends usually have each others numbers and addresses and do more together than game. At least, that's how friendship works for me.

My suggestion would be finding multiple games to play in online, whether VTT or PbP. GMs are always recruiting online. ALWAYS. If you limit yourself to just one group, then you are at the mercy of that one group.
 

I've been playing long enough, and seen enough cancelled games, that I've learned not to let it bother me. Stuff happens.

What did annoy me in one of my campaigns was the last minute cancellation, especially with no notice. Which happened rather more often than it should. Basically, in this world of always-available communications, if you need to miss a session I expect to receive a message from you to that effect. There are exceptions... but they involve someone being hospitalized, or events of that level.
 

When our online game is cancelled, I take out a solo board game or continue a solo RPG campaign and play for two hours. It's not the same, but it's still valid and enjoyable gaming.
 

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