The cancellation of your regular tabletop gaming session can have a surprisingly significant psychological impact on players, and it certainly affects me as game master. There's no single word to summarize the disappointment in missing a game, which is why I turned to other languages for help.
Meet Fernweh
One possible candidate is Fernweh, a German word that describes a longing for distant places or experiences. In the context of a cancelled game, Fernweh seems apt: a longing for the imagined adventures, shared stories, and camaraderie that's part of the tabletop gaming experience.Longing to game most often manifests as disappointment and frustration when you can't play, ranging from a mild sense of letdown to a more intense feeling of frustration, especially if the cancellation was unexpected, poorly communicated, or due to circumstances beyond your control. If you invested significant time and effort in preparing for the game (creating characters, planning strategies, clearing schedules, etc.), the disappointment can be even more pronounced.
Cancelling is bad enough, but for long-term campaigns, the cancellation can feel like a genuine missed visit to a vacation destination. Long-term gamers can developed strong emotional connections to their characters and the shared narrative. For these games, it's not just disappointment; the cancellation can be depressing too, particularly if the campaign is a way to blow off steam during a particular tough week. If the cancellation is permanent, the Fernweh can turn into grief.
Emotional Damage
Missing a game is rough, and because tabletop play typically lasts several hours, you might find yourself with more time on your hands than you anticipated. I know I expeirence restlessness and struggle doing something else after I planned for the game; as a game master, I prepare myself mentally to role-play, organize my time, and get ready to "get into character." So it's perhaps unavoidable that I end up feeling a general sense of malaise. Even if I do switch gears, I don't necessarily enjoy other activities as much.Beyond the disruption, RPGs provide a vital social outlet, potentially the only one for busy adults. The cancellation can disrupt these social connections, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially if the game is the only time you get to see your friends.
How to Cope
It's taken me a while to acknowledge this even happens. "It's only a game" does a disservice to the emotional investment in time commitments we all pour into our games. It’s okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or even sad when a game is cancelled.Open communication with the gaming group is also crucial. Discussing the cancellation and understanding the reasons behind it can help to alleviate some of the frustration, particularly if the cancellation was due to miscommunication.
Finding alternative outlets for engagement with the hobby can help too. This could involve playing other games (there is an entire genre of beer-and-pretzels games that have sprung up when there are too few players to play a tabletop role-playing game, but enough to still play a game together), reading gaming-related books or articles, watching streams or podcasts, or engaging in online discussions with other gamers. And of course, game masters can work ahead so they have more content for future games.
Finally, you can always just do something else: pursuing other hobbies, spending time with friends and family (outside of the gaming group), exercising, or simply engaging in relaxing activities like reading or listening to music. Prioritizing self-care, such as getting enough sleep, eating well, and practicing relaxation techniques, can also help too so the game isn't the only therapeutic outlet.
It's tough when a game is cancelled, and I'm still working through how to deal with how disruptive it is both to my schedule and my emotions. But odds are high it will happen more than once, so having mitigation strategies before a game is cancelled can go a long way to help you cope.
Still sucks though.
Your Turn: What do you do when your game is cancelled (besides not play)?
