Gamers who want to date gamers

[Drawmack]

When I met my fiance I was not into philocophy and she was not into gaming.

Now, 4 years later she's a gamer and I love philosophy.

Varying interest expand both partners.

 

[Silver Moon]

I dated several people who I had been in gaming groups with. The woman I eventually married was part of our weekly gaming group. We had dated very early in the group's history, and broke up after about six months, but stayed friends largely due to the group. It was five years later that we got back together, became engaged the following year, and married the year after. Most of the gaming group was in the wedding party.

I know several other couples who met as a result of the hobby, one such couple being PirateCat and KidCthulhu. Having common interests is a good thing.

 

[drnuncheon]

I know several other couples who met as a result of the hobby, one such couple being PirateCat and KidCthulhu. Having common interests is a good thing.

My wife and I met on a MUSH, from several states away. Neither of us wanted a long-distance internet relationship, but you see how well it worked out...

J

 

[alsih2o]

It seems a lot of gamers would like to find a romantic interest with a fellow gamer. I know that's what I would like. I talk a fairly large offense to a comment that says I shouldn't look for someone who shares my interests. I'm a very avid gamer. I sometimes play games once or twice a week. I think that I would need a gamer to understand the obsession of gaming and the time dedication of it.

anyone who loves you will understand, my wife has never gamed and does not want to, but she knows my characters names, and where the party is in a campaign i dm, she is a fantastic lady and appreciates my gaming partly for the free tiem it gives her. she is free to do whatever she wats twice a week knowing i will not be sticking my gigantic nose into it because i am avanging past evils.....or commiting them


don't worry, looking with gaming interests in mind isn't a bad thing, unless that is all you use. when you find the right person it won't matter if she/he/it has never heard of rpg's

 

[Ankh-Morpork Guard]

Hell, my girlfriend and I met shooting each other down in X-Wing vs. Tie Fighter around six or seven years ago. She lives across the Atlantic Ocean, but its amazing the things that can be done. Play by post games have been the mainstay of our gaming, but it works.
I definatly agree that you shouldn't place conditions on a person you look for, though I've never been the kind of person to think you should actively go out and LOOK for someone to date. I've always found that things will find you when you're least expecting it.

 

[Umbran]

I talk a fairly large offense to a comment that says I shouldn't look for someone who shares my interests.

Well, think of it this way - if you limit your search to people who only share a particular interest with you, then you severely limit the pool of available people.

WotC market research in 1999 suggested that there's something on the order of 3 million gamers out there total, between the ages of 12 and 35. At best, half of them are women. How many of those women are in your age range? How many of them live anywhere near you geographically?

See where I'm going? The pool of gamer-ladies is small. The pool of gamers-guys isn't all that big either. If your search starts with "I wanna find a gamer-chick", you're not apt to find someone compatible. I'd go as far to say you'd be shooting yourself in the foot, romantically speaking, if you look for such specific qualities.

 

[Kahuna Burger]

Don't get offended, but I thinking that someone seeking anyone out as a potential mate with gaming as a requirement (or even an interest, really) needs help.

oh, yeah, that wasn't meant to cause offense at all....

I'm really glad to be involved with a gamer. We can talk about random rule or game related stuff, we share books, we point out en world threads to each other, and I always have at least one person I can suck into a gaming group.

Don't look for a significant other based on their hobbies. Variety, and learning new things, is the spice of life. I have a beautiful girlfriend of several years who shares basically no hobbies, and not really any musical interest, and we get along great and compliment each other. You should never put requirements or conditions on affairs of the heart.

I think its a bit more significant that you should never presume to tell someone else the right way to run the affairs of THEIR heart. Many people, myself included, do not think of a boyfriend or girlfriend as a being of pure love who we relate to based only one our 'romantic' attraction. I have friends first and SOs if it can grow out of that. So looking to meet people who share my social interests and could be good friends is the only was that I am interested in finding a boyfriend.

Luckily for me, my social interests have a pretty good gender ratio in my favor. But I would never discorage someone from seeking out people that they were compatable with as friends and also had the potential to date. Which is all the poster was looking for.

Kahuna burger

 

[fusangite]

It sounds to me as though Romus's gaming group needs to engage in a much more aggressive recruitment campaign that is focused on locating female gamers. If one has the support of one's gaming group in such a scheme the minute probability of success could be increased to a tiny probability (which is all one can hope for out of any dating strategy).

I have to share my experience that every single female gamer I play with became so because she started dating a gamer boyfriend who turned her into a gamer. So, I actually think making more female gamers is a more efficient strategy than recruiting from amongst those who already exist.

 

[dren]

Romus,

think very carefully about what you wish for... Do you really want someone that you share this interest with? Sure, while you are going out it's fun, but what happens if the relationship spoils? What's going to happen to the game? It gets even uglier if one of you is the DM.

Also, as much as I love the game and sci-fi, I really don't want to talk about this ALL THE TIME. It gets boring. Hell, I don't talk to my players in between the games. Why would I want a partner to talk about this with 24/7?

I have a wonderful, loving and supporting wife. While she has been to a few games, it's not her cup of tea. I'm glad in a way, it's one of the few scheduled times a week I get away from her. We both appreciate that.

 

[hellbender]

Sorry, I am a gamer, but not a geek, and really, if a few words offend you, get over it, life is really much too short to get all huffy over a few words on an rpg forum. I get out, travel, and live life, I don't obsess over a freaking game. Being a gamer isn't a counterculture activity, being a revolutionary is. I have gamed since I was 12, I turn 34 tomorrow, and having dated several women of several nationalities, I have never even entertained the idea of sharing an interest in gaming. The off times I game, my girlfriend does her thing, she does not 'put on a face' or 'pretend to be interested' and I wouldn't want her to. We do share a few hobbies, but not all. Like others have said, which I stated earlier, sharing a hobby is a lame way to look for a mate. Others just have said it more eloquently. A lot of people play golf and their significant others don't, why is gaming so special? It isn't. My group is pretty much the same, everyone either has a wife or girlfriend, none of us have a gamer significant other, yet, and here is the amazing part, we all seem to get along with our better halves!

hellbender