I’m in the same camp about wanting DnD to be something more immersive, with things that matter, and that are more flexible. So, I don’t think you’re as much of an outlier as you think.I guess Ill rephrase my disagreement. I think D&D is designed with intention of long campaigns by default so it seems like rules lite games may lack the support in comparison. There is much "D&D is king, and everything else is second fiddle" on the net talk. I'm not saying you are making this claim, but the claim here may lean into it. I like to avoid general statements and be more specific in these discussions out of respect that I feel the games deserve. Perhaps thats a bit of a distinction that doesnt matter or is overly sensitive, but I still like to steer conversations this way.
Could be, I think it also has a lot to do with how tangible a rules heavy game system is. For example, you have piles and piles of discussions across the net on how to build a combat character. However, not many on how characters live their lives, achieve their goals, drive the narrative forward. You have a detailed road map on how the game is played here, and more importantly, rules that say what is in and out of bounds. The achievements are by the book so its easy to tell you are doing it right. As opposed to the interpretive style that is ambiguous, flexible, and often intangible in comparison.
As I have gotten older, I much prefer Fitzgerald's illusory progress. I like combats that make sense, are important, that matter. D&D obviously has those, but they also have grinds of 8 a day and 20 levels worth of manuals built in. At this point it’s actually working against my instincts to want to play D&D, and I know that makes me an outlier.
The thing about rules is that people tend to want to follow them in games, many times, to an extreme degree. Which is interesting in DnD, where the earliest versions spelled out “do what you want, these are all basically guidelines.” But those guidelines had the whiff of officialdom, required official erratas and Sage Advice, and folks wouldn’t touch anything without the ’official’ imprimatur.
I find myself going back to Basic/Old School Essentials Advanced, and playing the game in a more narrow, grounded way. It helps that my players are willing to go along with it, and we’re enjoying a more slow burn, exploration, building out the starting village, occupants, and ‘setting’ without 8 combats a day, umpteen abilities, and little to no threat of death.
One game I’m running using OSE:A is Strahd. It’s been interesting with a thief, a fighter, and two fighter hirelings in the party (around 2nd level right now, adapting CoS). The other (mostly by email, with some VTT for important moments) has a pretty standard party led by a thief, with an assassin, a wizard, and a fighter, who are tightly tied into their home town, where the thief wants to be a merchant… not your typical DnD, for sure (and they’re all first level atm). But building out the world collaboratively, drafting in ideas and things beyond the rules, and mixing and matching alternate systems are also part of our fun.