This whole derailment is a classic troll technique: construct some straw men, imply that the debate is poorly defined because someone used a word that can mean different things in different contexts, insist that discussion of the original topic must cease until the ambiguity is settled, paint those who don't think the debate really needs to go meta as unreasonable since You're Really Just Trying To Have A Civil Conversation, all the while keeping focus off a discussion that makes you uncomfortable for Reasons, but where you know articulating your real point of view will not make you seem reasonable or persuasive.
Seems to me not responding to the derail and going back to the actual topic is the most productive tack here.