Yup. Lotsa things you can do with a gel cube...
“I want to thank you for coming down on such short notice.” He was friendly and well groomed. His stylish business jacket and short cloak were a polite shade of earth-tones I approved of immediately. His good looks helped.
“Not a problem, I usually eat on this side of town, and the Gates aren’t too bad this time of day.” We were walking down a beige hallway that looked like every other we’d been down so far. I no longer had any idea where we were, but that was fine. I could always get home with the ERD that Wendy gave me last year. Also known as an Emergency Recall Disk, it could teleport you to a designated spot as a one-time-only self-defense. It cost her a fortune, and I couldn’t refuse. I gave her a raise instead. She was worth it.
“You solve this problem, and I’ll buy you lunch myself!” His grim humor was a pleasant change from my usual customers. Most of mine had trouble making ends meet, let alone paying a druid to heal their family pet. “It was just brought to my attention today, and it seems to have been going on for a while now.”
“Did I really need to sign all of those non-disclosure forms? And where are you keeping animals? I thought this was a Hetra-chip factory.” I looked at my timer, we had been walking for about 8 minutes. We must be at the far end of the factory by now.
“Yes... down this hall... and we are. We are also a research lab. So, in case someone slips and says something about a project, you have agree not to blab it to the BNN prime time news.” It was hard to take offense with the friendly tone he had, so I didn’t.
“I take it that it’s some kind of guard animal? Kind of a primitive way to secure a place.”
“Depends on the type. Here we are.”
I looked around and saw nothing. He just smiled and waved at a scryer that was watching us from a nearby wall. Someone must have been monitoring us, because suddenly the floor in front of me disappeared. It revealed a pit of brown, rippling water. The smell was less than pleasant. I frowned. “An illusion,” I asked?
“No.” His voice was firm. “An illusion covering a generated force wall. Perfectly safe.”
“And if the power goes ou...”
He cut me off for the first time. “Then backup power crystals keep it running, and we can slide the floor shut.”
I was not very confident about that. Seems it would be better to leave it open as a defense if the power did go off. Even I know a trap when I see one. Kneeling down, I could see nothing in the sewer water.
“Please be careful. It can be very dangerous if you’re careless.” I did not ask how he knew that.
“Where is it?” I still saw nothing.
“Right in front of you.” I still saw nothing but the water rippling. The smell was overpowering. Then I realized what I was looking at, and it was not sewer water.
“Where did you get it?” I backed up despite myself. At least I did it calmly.
“We have all the appropriate licenses for it.”
“Right. Where did you get it?”
“Madam, I can show you any paperwork you need.” His voice had become more professional and a lot less pleasant. I got the distinct feeling that being between it and him might be a bad idea. I moved.
“Fine. But would you mind telling me what a Gel Cube is doing in a pit trap below your HALLWAY floor?” If he noticed the edge to my voice, he ignored it masterfully.
“It is for the ‘disposal of hazardous biological waste materials’. It is in the hall because we use it to filter the sewer line leaving the secured area, and could find no other way to bring it in. Putting it outside where someone might accident upon it was too careless to even consider.” He looked down at it. “It seems to have been having trouble lately.”
I gave up. “Really?” I looked at it while staying out of arms-reach.
“Yes, over the last month, it has been unable to filter the fluid coming from the labs. Since we also use it to clean the normal sewage too...”
“Hence the smell...”
“Right.” He wrinkled his nose. “Any ideas what may be wrong?”
I looked it him. “There’s a ten foot cube of slime in your hallway floor, and you’re asking me ‘What’s wrong’?” He sighed. I raised my eyebrow in response.
“All right.” He carefully rephrased the question. “What is causing it to not filter the sewage?”
“Do you feed it anything besides sewage?” I looked at it again. It was impossible to see anything that might be considered a physiology in the thing.
“We throw it some meat on occasion.” I looked up at him sharply. He didn’t match my gaze. “Mostly, it seems to absorb anything we throw into it. Chemicals, even toxic ones, have no effect on it. Lately, though, it seems to have stopped keeping up with it. It just lets it flow through.”
“Started about a month ago? And just kept getting steadily worse?”
“Right. Never had a problem before. It just keeps filtering less and less waste.”
“How much goes through here?” I fought down the urge to poke it with a stick. It might seem unprofessional.
“No idea. We don’t meter it, since there is no cost for running it.”
“And because documenting it would be a possible liability.”
“Right.”
“Right.” I looked at it. It seemed straightforward enough. “You’re overfeeding it.”
“What? It eats everything!”
“It’s not a hole. It’s a living thing.” I thought about it. “Actually, it’s a colony of living things. The point is, it will filter everything it CAN. It has limits. Seems it just started reaching them.” Thinking some more, I figured it out. “Have you hired more employees? Added more bathrooms, or started using them more?”
He looked down at it again. “Actually, yes, we have. Makes good sense. Sure it isn’t sick?”
“I have never heard of a cube dying of anything but fire.”
“Ok then. Let’s go write that check.” He smiled again as the floor reappeared and he walked over it. Turning around, he saw me still on the other side of the false floor. I hadn’t moved. “You coming?”
I smiled at him. “You write the check, and I’ll wait here.” He laughed out loud and left me there.
I walked out with a very, very, VERY good check.
Clinging swarm (standard; at-will)
