GMs: How do you soften the blow?

[Wicht]

So as DMs, we have those moments when we inflict major pain on our players and their PCs. Death by major damage, mind-control, paralysis, backstabbing NPCs, really bad rolls in combat, and like such.

When these things happen, I normally attempt to put forth a very sympathetic face, a small, "tut, tut," and a sincere, "that's really awful, I'm sorry," before moving on and describing, sometimes in detail, what has happened. Such behavior on my part seems to go a long way towards facilitating an ongoing GM/player interaction and allowing me to continue to work against the well being of the PCs without seeming overly malevolent (after all, we are all there to have fun). My wife says that she thinks I sometimes come across as being moderately insincere when I sympathize with my players (as if I actually was enjoying hurting their PCs) but I think she is probably just cynical.

So what technique do you use to keep your players in line when the game is doing very bad things to their PCs? How do you allow them to think of you as being on their side, even as you have monsters crush and destroy them?

Or do you just go for full on GM vs. Player conflict?

 

[Janx]

As a GM, I look at the cascade of successes and preparedness a bad guy is having.

Just as on TV shows, there are times when you have to call BS that the bad guy has his feces so well coagulated that he just happens to be doing everything right and know everything.

When you identify that you've reached this threshold, it's time to dial it back a bit. If you've crossed this line already, that's where you look at truly softening the blow. Not with words, but with adjusting the response/outcome.

Instead of killing the PC with due to a final failure against the bad guy's unrealistically perfect plan, capture him, knock him out, give him a non-lethal setback and play through the new situation of overcoming the setback.

I think offering sympathy can sound more like the interogator apoligizing for the pain while he yanks out my finger nails.

Best to keep it neutral and keep yer mouth shut.

 

[Lwaxy]

I usually do what Janx said, unless the death of the PC would be epic enough to warrant it happening.

I've only once truly felt sorry to the point of "apologizing" for a really cool PC in a SciFi setting who died very un-epic by getting killed by a rebound bullet. But hey, not everyone can die in a spectacular way.

 

[billd91]

I get up on the table to dance my jig of triumph so that they know, with finality, that they have been beaten.


Actually, we post dead PCs on the Wall of Death so that all may see the heroes that have fallen in methods both noble and ignoble. Seriously. We've got a whole party of 2nd level 3.5 D&D PCs killed in a TPK. We used to have a large array of Call of Cthulhu investigators - but that campaign ended 15 years ago amid insanity, explosions, and a collapsing cavern roof leaving a lone survivor (who had gone back to the land rover for some gear) and it was high time for the character sheets to come down.


Edit: So, basically, we don't soften it at all. Rather, we kind of celebrate it.

 

[Hand of Evil]

it is not me, the GM, that needs to candy coat...its the other players, dude dies and there is a few jokes, the body is strip and left to become a zombie!

I try to have things covered in my house rule packet, under the topic of How Death is Handled and provide options for my players, mostly roleplaying stuff that helps build their relationship with the gods. Yes, I do that "It's not your time..." but only for players that interact with religion in the game world.

 

[Rune]

I've uttered variations of the following from time to time:

"Hey, don't blame me! I'm on your side! It's just [whatever villain they're currently getting hosed by] who really has something against you!"

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

I've only had a few epic deaths in my entire gaming lifetime...so I really don't hold back when, as DM, someone suffers a ignominious demise.

 

[Michael Silverbane]

I punch them in the face. That way they have something to distract them from the disappointment of losing a character.

 

[delericho]

So as DMs, we have those moments when we inflict major pain on our players and their PCs. Death by major damage, mind-control, paralysis, backstabbing NPCs, really bad rolls in combat, and like such.

In my campaigns, when a PC suffers mind control, I leave him or her in the hands of the player to control. Though I do expect them to "play fair" with that - so if the dominator orders them to kill their friend, I expect them to apply their very best efforts to do so (so no using Combat Expertise and massive Power Attack to guarantee that every attack misses!). Thus far, I haven't had any instances where that might cause a problem, though of course it's a possibility.

So what technique do you use to keep your players in line when the game is doing very bad things to their PCs?

We "embrace the failure" as that recent article suggested. For the most part, I have truly, spectacularly bad luck with dice. It's practically a legend in our group. As a result, I've adopted a very light-hearted approach to failure - the bad guys are forever failing. Failure becomes a matter of fun.

But what that means is that, generally speaking, failure is just another part of the fun. If the PCs fail, that's amusing. If a PC dies, well, it happens. Either the player brings in a new character, or we make arrangements for him to be revived, or whatever.

(And then there's the 1 in 10,000 case where the "Black Crusade" Sorcerer attempts something risky on his first action in the game and is killed outright by his own powers. That was in a one-off game, and proved to be the highlight of that game.)

 

[Desh-Rae-Halra]

I guess I am really one who favors the story over the dice/mechanics. To me, there is always an evil spirit, a purely psionic entity, a demon, or a twist in the story that can allow the player to choose avoiding death, but with an unknown price to pay. Clearly you cant do that over and over, but I think one close brush with death should have ramifications on the character.
The characters are the Heroes of the story. Maybe not all heroes survive until the end, but I will err on the side of making the characters lives much more complicated as opposed to "ok, time to find a new guy".
The players have the choice though, and if it seems like this is really where this character should die in the story, so be it.
I guess I am more critical in that I have played in games where the story was based around a character, then they get killed, other party members pick up the quest until they get killed, and eventually you hve characters that have no real connection to the story other than "you joined this group as they were travelling to X to search for Y" with no real meaning behind it.