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Gnomes and 4E
- Thread starter mkb152
- Start date
ProfessorPain
First Post
That is exactly what Mike Godwin said. Exactly.
Whizbang Dustyboots
Gnometown Hero
I know humor is subjective, but seriously, man?
ProfessorPain
First Post
It is a lot funnier in German.
JoeGKushner
First Post
I'm surprised there are any gnomes left after the trolls got my secret receipe.
1 pound gnome fillets
½ cup beer
2 medium eggs
½ cup yellow cornmeal
½ cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
Pour 1/2-inch oil into a (cast iron) skillet. Preheat oil to 370-degrees. Rinse fillets under cold running water. Pat dry with paper towels. Cut into 4 ounce servings. In a shallow bowl, whisk together the eggs and beer. In another shallow bow, mix together the cornmeal, flour, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Dip the fillets into the wet batter first and then dredge in the flour mixture. When the oil is hot but not smoking, carefully place the fillets in the skillet. Fry until browned on the bottom, about 4 minutes. Turn and fry on the other side. Lift out and drain on paper towels. Serve with lemon wedges, ketchup or tartar sauce.
1 pound gnome fillets
½ cup beer
2 medium eggs
½ cup yellow cornmeal
½ cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
Pour 1/2-inch oil into a (cast iron) skillet. Preheat oil to 370-degrees. Rinse fillets under cold running water. Pat dry with paper towels. Cut into 4 ounce servings. In a shallow bowl, whisk together the eggs and beer. In another shallow bow, mix together the cornmeal, flour, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Dip the fillets into the wet batter first and then dredge in the flour mixture. When the oil is hot but not smoking, carefully place the fillets in the skillet. Fry until browned on the bottom, about 4 minutes. Turn and fry on the other side. Lift out and drain on paper towels. Serve with lemon wedges, ketchup or tartar sauce.
ProfessorPain
First Post
Do you have a recipe for roasting gnome?
Remathilis
Legend
Where do trolls get the paper towel?
JoeGKushner
First Post
I really hate to share this one as En World seems deep in trolls these days but...
Preheat the oven to 450°F. Rinse the gnome, then dry it very well with paper towels, inside and out. The less it steams, the drier the heat, the better.
Salt and pepper the cavity, then truss the gnome. Trussing is not difficult, and if you roast gnome often, it's a good technique to feel comfortable with. When you truss a gnome , the arms and legs stay close to the body; the ends of the legs are folded to cover the top of the breast and keep it from drying out. Trussing helps the gnome to cook evenly, and it also makes for a more beautiful roasted fey.
Now, salt the gnome—I like to rain the salt over the fey so that it has a nice uniform coating that will result in a crisp, salty, flavorful skin (about 1 tablespoon). When it's cooked, you should still be able to make out the salt baked onto the crisp skin. Season to taste with pepper.
Place the gnome in a sauté pan or roasting pan and, when the oven is up to temperature, put the fey in the oven. I leave it alone—I don't baste it, I don't add butter; you can if you wish, but I feel this creates steam, which I don't want. Roast it until it's done, 50 to 60 minutes. Remove it from the oven and add the thyme, if using, to the pan. Baste the gnome with the juices and thyme and let it rest for 15 minutes on a cutting board.
Remove the twine. Separate the middle arm joint and eat that immediately. Remove the legs and thighs. I like to take off the backbone and eat one of the oysters, the two succulent morsels of meat embedded here, and give the other to the person I'm cooking with. Cut the breast down the middle and serve it on the bone, with one leg joint still attached to each. The preparation is not meant to be superelegant. Slather the meat with fresh butter. Serve with mustard on the side and, if you wish, a simple green salad. You'll start using a knife and fork, but finish with your fingers, because it's so good.
Preheat the oven to 450°F. Rinse the gnome, then dry it very well with paper towels, inside and out. The less it steams, the drier the heat, the better.
Salt and pepper the cavity, then truss the gnome. Trussing is not difficult, and if you roast gnome often, it's a good technique to feel comfortable with. When you truss a gnome , the arms and legs stay close to the body; the ends of the legs are folded to cover the top of the breast and keep it from drying out. Trussing helps the gnome to cook evenly, and it also makes for a more beautiful roasted fey.
Now, salt the gnome—I like to rain the salt over the fey so that it has a nice uniform coating that will result in a crisp, salty, flavorful skin (about 1 tablespoon). When it's cooked, you should still be able to make out the salt baked onto the crisp skin. Season to taste with pepper.
Place the gnome in a sauté pan or roasting pan and, when the oven is up to temperature, put the fey in the oven. I leave it alone—I don't baste it, I don't add butter; you can if you wish, but I feel this creates steam, which I don't want. Roast it until it's done, 50 to 60 minutes. Remove it from the oven and add the thyme, if using, to the pan. Baste the gnome with the juices and thyme and let it rest for 15 minutes on a cutting board.
Remove the twine. Separate the middle arm joint and eat that immediately. Remove the legs and thighs. I like to take off the backbone and eat one of the oysters, the two succulent morsels of meat embedded here, and give the other to the person I'm cooking with. Cut the breast down the middle and serve it on the bone, with one leg joint still attached to each. The preparation is not meant to be superelegant. Slather the meat with fresh butter. Serve with mustard on the side and, if you wish, a simple green salad. You'll start using a knife and fork, but finish with your fingers, because it's so good.
Nahat Anoj
First Post
I'm reminded of an old Dragon cartoon during the holiday season, wherein a troll stirring a pot sang:
"Oh there's no race like gnome for the hollandaise..."
"Oh there's no race like gnome for the hollandaise..."
Pun-tastic!I'm reminded of an old Dragon cartoon during the holiday season, wherein a troll stirring a pot sang:
"Oh there's no race like gnome for the hollandaise..."
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