There is a difference between PMing someone to ask if (s)he wouldn't mind a fight or just general trouble, and PMing to ask if (s)he wouldn't mind me "annoying her character." I mean, how am I supposed to know what annoys a character?
Granted, if I see the character I'm dealing with starting to boil up IC, I -will- ask the player if (s)he doesn't mind. But that is not, repeat not, neccessary, and frankly, it's more of a "Hey, I'm a good player I'm asking you. Admire me." thing. A subtle OOC show-off thing, a self-promoting propaganda thing. Because as long as it doesn't completely mess up all of the other one's conversations and as long as it doesn't get physical, there is absolutely no reason to ask for permission or the like.
A couple months ago, my character started verbally pestering over and over and over another char, calling her friend a "rape result" because he was a half-orc, and repeating rape over and over. To the point it was actually annoying OOC. Or might have been, for some. I'm still not sure if the player was angry at me. I don't remember if I apologized afterwards, I think I did. But I don't repent of having had my character annoy the whole tavern. He was like that. Granted, if I was to do it now, I'd have had him pester her for 15 minutes and not 45. It's kind of a polite thing. But I didn't disrespect her, the other players, or the CoC. I apologized just because I thought she might have been angry, but -not- because I had to apologize, at all.
You can't just tell people to ask you if it's okay to "annoy" your character, there are limits to things, if they play an annoying character, and it annoys yours, well, there's nothing you can do about it. I'm pretty sure all of our characters annoy someone at some point.