Great lines

[Nonei]

I couldn't find a 'great lines' thread to add to... but I had to post this.

A (definitely evil) drow leader was trying to convince the PCs to let her help them, but they were suspicious of her motives.

The druid is arguing to consider accepting the drow's help, when the Paladin turns to her: "If you come upon an old woman eating stew from a skull, and she invites you to dinner, would you go?"

Druid: "Hmm... What kind of skull is it?"


What are your favorite in-game (in character or ooc of course ) lines?

 

[brunswick]

We had a half-elven Bard in our game who would constantly say "Trust me, I know what I'm doing!" before scouting ahead or doing other risky tasks. Almost always, they ended in disaster until eventually the players warned him not to keep saying it. Well loved character in the history of our game though!

 

[Elphilm]

My friend's stout Northern barbarian once coined the phrase, "The enemy of my enemy is in my way."

 

[Umbran]

"Don't eat the evil beef jerky!"

(I'll leave it as an exercise for the reader to consider how this might have come up)

 

[AdmundfortGeographer]

I forget the immediate preceding events, but I was DMing a party through a Greyhawk campaign. When the party came upon a ruined bell tower with bones strewn around the base, as the party came up to the door one of the party's PC warriors grabbed a skull from the ground.

The player then, while in character began to recount in extreme detail the events that led to the death of the particular former skull's "owner". The story recounted how the person was once a lowly tower guard who grew up in an orphanage of St. Cuthbert. He worked hard, was a faithful believer, and enjoyed putting forth a good days effort. The skull's owner had been begun having trouble with his commanding officers, getting the worst duty regularly and almost never for a good reason beyond dislike from the superior. The player went on for a good 15 minutes describing the details of this one dead person so thoroughly we were all enthralled. We had NEVER seen this player invest so much time role playing, it was totally captivating watching him go on!

Then one day, as the player wrapped it up, he described that the skull's owner had learned he was getting flack from his superior because another fellow soldier was jealous for some unremembered reason and was undermining him by telling falsehoods to the commanding officer, the two were on duty at the top of the bell tower (where the PCs were outside of), the two fought, the skull's owner had his head cracked against the massive bell, and was killed. The fellow soldier tossed the corpse over the wall to the ground below.

The player then just paused and said nothing. . .

We all sat saying nothing waiting for him to say more about this skull, when he had nothing more to say, one of the other players said something to the effect, "How do you know that's what happened to this guy?"

With a straight face he replied, "I knew his head rang a bell."

We roared in laughter. It was hard to get back to serious gaming for a while that day.

 

[Ainamacar]

A classic in a game I ran, the bard basically publicly admits to murdering a townsman in front of said town, while trying to speak to them about something else entirely.

As the PCs are running away:
"I misread my audience."

 

[pogre]

A gruff dwarf PC frustrated by the party's lack of progress in a local mystery in a village:

"I'm going to harvest me some peasants!"

A frequent solution to mysteries in my campaigns sadly!

 

[Oryan77]

I've probably mentioned this before, but it's still my favorite line I've heard during one of our games...

The group just completed an adventure and saved the kingdom. They were discussing what kind of rewards the king might give them for their heroic deeds. One of the female players excitedly said, "Maybe he'll reward us with a golden shower!"

She honestly did not know what a golden shower really was. Her face was bright red after we explained why we were laughing so hard.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

You've told that story more than once...but its still wicked funny!

 

[Carbon]

Ah man I got a great one that happened last week.

My revenant warlock split from the party's hometown, because they were being jerks, and to make a long story short I met another undead through Sigil and we were heading back home when we met a freakin' green dragon.

I hid behind my NPC friend until the dragon stepped out of the shadows and revealed itself to be only of large-size.

The conversation went exactly like this:

NPC: "Wow a dragon! I thought they were dead!"

Me: "I know right!"

Dragon: "W-what you're not scared that I'm going to eat you?"

Me: "I was until I saw how small you are."

We killed it, had my friend possess it's body, and are now riding home to potentially get ourselves killed by the undead-hating townsfolk and party-members. Fly speed of 15+ for the win.