Harassment in gaming

[Hussar]

First, I didn't say anything about men becoming rape monsters. That is crazy!

If a game calls upon players to lean over a table, why would you wear a skirt for that?

Gaming is definitely a male-dominated hobby, but that doesn't exclude anyone. There is every reason to expect the people there to be courteous, and respectful back to you if you are courteous and respectful to them.

That's all I can say now. I'll try to get back to this later.

For some reason, I really, REALLY doubt anyone is grabbing these asses - despite showing lots more than a skirt would:

I participated in one of the biggest Magic: the Gathering tournaments of all time this weekend. In an effort to document it, I posed for pictures near people with exposed asscracks. I present to you Grand Prix Richmond Crackstyle.

So, it's kinda one sided no?

 

[Hussar]

Mods, my comment following is more accurately aimed at you:


After reviewing ENWorld's Code of Conduct, I do not see why OP's linked article was not flagged for violations. It fails to 'be respectful' and 'be polite'. It stomps all over the borderlines for 'no politics.'

How do you see it?

Thanks.

I have to admit that the irony here is absolutely fantastic.

Woman: I am very angry. I have been groped, harassed, and treated like crap for years by white men in our hobby. I demand that we talk about this and talk about this right now.
Man: Sorry, you weren't polite enough in your request. Come back when you can ask nicely.
Woman: *headsplodes*

Good grief.

 

[Max_Killjoy]

I have to say that when I see the word "terrorist" in the link/title of an article, when I read it, I had better find an article about actual terrorists.

Our broader hobby (passion, pass-time, whatever) of "gaming" has within it minority elements of clueless men engaged in rotten behavior that does nothing but ruin our reputation, drive people away, and perpetuate our nicheness. That doesn't mean that it's accurate to use the same word for a dudebro d-bag or greasy groper as one would use for the subhuman villains who flew airplanes into building or shot up an entertainment district. Hyperbole, turning the verbiage up to 11, and throwing the most negatively evocative words around one can think of, only serves to corrode the public discourse, alienate people, and create an excuse to not talk about the actual issue at hand.


That said, the sort of behavior that drove the writer of that article to that level of anger exists, I've seen it, of several sorts. The faults of her writing style don't magically dispel that behavior out of existence. Eventually the community has to stop looking for excuses to not look those issues in the eye.

 

[Springheel]

Seriously though... If you aren't tough enough to see through some harsh words it's possible they apply.

That response is a bit ironic in a thread like this, isn't it?

Are the rest of us allowed to talk about harassment yet? Please?

Setting aside the question of how one person's posts keep "the rest of us" from discussing harassment or anything else, there seems to be a pretty high number of posts about harassment in the thread...what should be discussed that hasn't already been said?

 

[Springheel]

For some reason, I really, REALLY doubt anyone is grabbing these asses - despite showing lots more than a skirt would:

I participated in one of the biggest Magic: the Gathering tournaments of all time this weekend. In an effort to document it, I posed for pictures near people with exposed asscracks. I present to you Grand Prix Richmond Crackstyle.

So, it's kinda one sided no?

It absolutely is one-sided. Most people will chuckle or groan at this. Now imagine if it were the same male gamer taking photos next to women who were exposing skin and took photos without their knowledge. That would fall under sexual harassment, would it not?

 

[ExploderWizard]

For some reason, I really, REALLY doubt anyone is grabbing these asses - despite showing lots more than a skirt would:

I participated in one of the biggest Magic: the Gathering tournaments of all time this weekend. In an effort to document it, I posed for pictures near people with exposed asscracks. I present to you Grand Prix Richmond Crackstyle.

So, it's kinda one sided no?

OMG!! Someone call a drywall repairman to spackle up those cracks!

 

[billd91]

It absolutely is one-sided. Most people will chuckle or groan at this. Now imagine if it were the same male gamer taking photos next to women who were exposing skin and took photos without their knowledge. That would fall under sexual harassment, would it not?

And one would hope someone caught doing so might face punishment like the guy behind the asscrack photo set reportedly got (an 18 month ban).

 

[Umbran]

How do you see it?

I see it as *AGAIN* diverting the discussion to the language used in the linked article, rather than to the actual topic of harassment. I see that as begin going against Morrus' express instructions, and after someone has already gotten a tempban.

For your own good, please don't post in this thread again. Thank you.

 

[DOTTIE]

In order to curb the problem of harassment, male gamers are going to have to step up.

Here is some of the best advice I have seen on how men can take steps to deal with the problem of harassment:

As you can see, the steps above involve confronting others to some degree.

I'm pretty uncomfortable with confronting other people. I have a hard time dealing with strangers in a direct, authoritative way unless I'm really pissed off.

I am also aware that being pissed doesn't help a situation. It usually makes it worse.

So here's my question:

For those of you that have had training or experience in dealing with difficult situations involving harassment or abuse, or have had training or experience in how to engage someone behaving badly in a conversation so it does not turn into a conflict, what are some general pointers you can share on how to assess a situation, to assess a person or persons, and how to address someone else, so things don't devolve into a shouting match or a fist fight?

EDIT: Is there any recommended reading as well? Blogs, books, etc.?

Be courteous and kind. I don't like to get into confrontations with people, either, but you don't have to be confrontational to tell someone what they're doing is bothering you. Once people know it is, they usually stop.

 

[DOTTIE]

I have to admit that the irony here is absolutely fantastic.

Woman: I am very angry. I have been groped, harassed, and treated like crap for years by white men in our hobby. I demand that we talk about this and talk about this right now.
Man: Sorry, you weren't polite enough in your request. Come back when you can ask nicely.
Woman: *headsplodes*

Good grief.

You can't address all of those past experiences suddenly. If you ask a stranger for help, you should be specific and address what they can do then and there. It's understandable if you're upset, but the person you're talking isn't omnipotent.